Might have to go to London!!
Discussion
There should be a 
for the header!
Got a customer who wants some trains inspecting. That's not the issue; the problem is I've never been to London! Well OK, 28 years ago on a school trip, don't think that counts. Furthest inside the M25 I've been is Heathrow's cargo terminal.
Should I take an Uzi? Baseball bat? Wheel clamp? Money for congestion ripoff?
Job is somewhere near London City airport... M11/ A12?
Best practise my 'gor blimey' and keep my eyes peeled for 'Gwaant and Phiw'...
for the header! Got a customer who wants some trains inspecting. That's not the issue; the problem is I've never been to London! Well OK, 28 years ago on a school trip, don't think that counts. Furthest inside the M25 I've been is Heathrow's cargo terminal.
Should I take an Uzi? Baseball bat? Wheel clamp? Money for congestion ripoff?
Job is somewhere near London City airport... M11/ A12?
Best practise my 'gor blimey' and keep my eyes peeled for 'Gwaant and Phiw'...
to protect you from the trigger happy met 
wedg1e said:
Money for congestion ripoff?
Job is somewhere near London City airport
UHH! OHHH! I was up there last week - Firkin Stressful it was!
the Blackwall tunnel was a sodding nightmare the amount of feckin idiots who didnt know where the feck they were going or didnt give a flying feck when they carved you up 3 times in 30 seconds....... [and breathe]
have a good trip, I look forward to reading your forthcoming rant
pagey said:
Money for congestion ripoff?
Job is somewhere near London City airport
UHH! OHHH! I was up there last week - Firkin Stressful it was!
the Blackwall tunnel was a sodding nightmare the amount of feckin idiots who didnt know where the feck they were going or didnt give a flying feck when they carved you up 3 times in 30 seconds....... [and breathe]
have a good trip, I look forward to reading your forthcoming rant
May be next week; this week I have to go to Eckythump territory (Leeds), 'yow roight luv' land (Brum) and that place where 'council house' is pronounced 'kind slice'... Smoke-on-Stench And probably Leicester, but I can't be too derogatory as that's where me Julie hails from...
But I'll do you a
for starters... 
Easy Wedg1e - your running out of places in Englands pleasant land to slate 
If you had said you were going to Heathrow Airport you could have stayed here, but we don't associate with them there foreigners from London City Airport, as one half they think they are all cockneys matey boy, and the other 'alf is full of toffs who frequent the city don't you know? and I don't think you'd be walking the walk with the la de das' if you know wot I mean
In 'that' airport coffee is £5 for a large one, and the baggage guys will fleece you £15 just to wheel your cases from the car to the check in - so think yourself lucky your not flying
As long as your car vehicle hasn't got norhern plates you shouldnt get stabbed to many times.
On the other hand if you want a tour of all the dodgy Daves' back street emporiums, I may be able to help
If you had said you were going to Heathrow Airport you could have stayed here, but we don't associate with them there foreigners from London City Airport, as one half they think they are all cockneys matey boy, and the other 'alf is full of toffs who frequent the city don't you know? and I don't think you'd be walking the walk with the la de das' if you know wot I mean
In 'that' airport coffee is £5 for a large one, and the baggage guys will fleece you £15 just to wheel your cases from the car to the check in - so think yourself lucky your not flying
As long as your car vehicle hasn't got norhern plates you shouldnt get stabbed to many times. On the other hand if you want a tour of all the dodgy Daves' back street emporiums, I may be able to help
W,
If shot down and evading capture,
best to learn some local phrases:
"Gawd bless yer, Mary Poppins"
"Chim Chimenee...Chim Chim Cheroo.."
"Maybe it's becawse ah'm a Londonaaaaaa"
..and, the traditional Cockney greeting...
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnkaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
Edited...I can't spell waa..nnnkaa
>> Edited by eharding on Tuesday 29th November 01:07
If shot down and evading capture,
best to learn some local phrases:
"Gawd bless yer, Mary Poppins"
"Chim Chimenee...Chim Chim Cheroo.."
"Maybe it's becawse ah'm a Londonaaaaaa"
..and, the traditional Cockney greeting...
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnkaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
Edited...I can't spell waa..nnnkaa
>> Edited by eharding on Tuesday 29th November 01:07
ultimasimon said:
Easy Wedg1e - your running out of places in Englands pleasant land to slate
If you had said you were going to Heathrow Airport you could have stayed here, but we don't associate with them there foreigners from London City Airport, as one half they think they are all cockneys matey boy, and the other 'alf is full of toffs who frequent the city don't you know? and I don't think you'd be walking the walk with the la de das' if you know wot I mean
In 'that' airport coffee is £5 for a large one, and the baggage guys will fleece you £15 just to wheel your cases from the car to the check in - so think yourself lucky your not flying
On the other hand if you want a tour of all the dodgy Daves' back street emporiums, I may be able to help
Oy, are you saying I can't mix it with the toffs? I'll have you know I can string a sentence together in proper English when I need to (cannat help the impenetrable accent though, Dennis man pet). I recall being on a plane back from somewhere once: two seats away there was some 2@ who looked and sounded like Donald Sinden who found it hugely amusing to rip the p155 out of anything/ anyone remotely north of Watford.
Alas I had horrific air sickness, so when I'd filled three sick bags I leaned over and placed them under his seat while he was asleep...
I always carry my own cases, had too many arguments with jinglies at Middle-Eastern airports who think you owe them a living. Look, Mohammed, nobody forced you to leave your homeland and travel thousands of miles just to carry bags for whitey, so f*** off!
How man, ah shoulda been a diplomat, me like Neville man....
eharding said:
W,
If shot down and evading capture,
best to learn some local phrases:
"Gawd bless yer, Mary Poppins"
"Chim Chimenee...Chim Chim Cheroo.."
"Maybe it's becawse ah'm a Londonaaaaaa"
..and, the traditional Cockney greeting...
"Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnkaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
Edited...I can't spell waa..nnnkaa
>> Edited by eharding on Tuesday 29th November 01:07
How about "I say, my good man; kindly direct me to the nearest cockle and whelk emporium!"
or "Please remove that knife from my eyeball, Mr. Mboto, and help yourself to my wallet"
or "Shat it, you slaaaaaaag!"... ???
wedg1e said:
Easy Wedg1e - your running out of places in Englands pleasant land to slate
If you had said you were going to Heathrow Airport you could have stayed here, but we don't associate with them there foreigners from London City Airport, as one half they think they are all cockneys matey boy, and the other 'alf is full of toffs who frequent the city don't you know? and I don't think you'd be walking the walk with the la de das' if you know wot I mean
In 'that' airport coffee is £5 for a large one, and the baggage guys will fleece you £15 just to wheel your cases from the car to the check in - so think yourself lucky your not flying
On the other hand if you want a tour of all the dodgy Daves' back street emporiums, I may be able to help
I recall being on a plane back from somewhere once: two seats away there was some 2@ who looked and sounded like Donald Sinden who found it hugely amusing to rip the p155 out of anything/ anyone remotely north of Watford.
Alas I had horrific air sickness, so when I'd filled three sick bags I leaned over and placed them under his seat while he was asleep...
I always carry my own cases, had too many arguments with jinglies at Middle-Eastern airports who think you owe them a living. Look, Mohammed, nobody forced you to leave your homeland and travel thousands of miles just to carry bags for whitey, so f*** off!
How man, ah shoulda been a diplomat, me like Neville man....
I smell a rat. No northerner worth his salt would
use the word 'Alas' in general conversation.
I have a theory that wedg1e is an Oxford don conducting
cruel research on PistonHeaders.....
eharding said:
I smell a rat. No northerner worth his salt would
use the word 'Alas' in general conversation.
I have a theory that wedg1e is an Oxford don conducting
cruel research on PistonHeaders.....
My father's called Don, does that count?
Best not use the words 'incidentally' or 'obfuscation' in your presence, then...
pagey said:
Money for congestion ripoff?
Job is somewhere near London City airport
UHH! OHHH! I was up there last week - Firkin Stressful it was!
the Blackwall tunnel was a sodding nightmare the amount of feckin idiots who didnt know where the feck they were going or didnt give a flying feck when they carved you up 3 times in 30 seconds....... [and breathe]
aah, poor Pagey !!
London driving - if you stop to look you'll miss the gap.
Trick is to 'use the force' and just go. Most people will be expecting it anyway because that's how they drive.
Watch out for the bus lane on Park Lane, black cabs see this as their territory and once you're in (easy mistake to make) the
ers don't let you out ! >> Edited by Vee on Tuesday 29th November 09:02
eharding said:
I smell a rat. No northerner worth his salt would
use the word 'Alas' in general conversation.
I have a theory that wedg1e is an Oxford don conducting
cruel research on PistonHeaders.....
No no no. He's talking about a member of the fairer sex. It's a corrpution of the phrase "A lass". I believe that is the term they use up there.
While at a pub quiz on sunday night, one of the questions was: which animal can communicate over 200 miles? To which someone shouted "a cockney"
good luck wedg1e, it will make you realise how lucky you are to be a northerner. There's also the point that if it snows you won't have to abandon your car like everyone in the south of england does the moment a flake hits the asphalt...
cockney" good luck wedg1e, it will make you realise how lucky you are to be a northerner. There's also the point that if it snows you won't have to abandon your car like everyone in the south of england does the moment a flake hits the asphalt...
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