Complaint letter writing help needed - Reading Council
Discussion
It took me 50 minutes to cross Reading this morning from Caversham to Thames Valley Park (2 miles) and enough is enough.
I want to write a letter to the roads department asking exactly what it is they do during the day, how they are enriching my life and where the money goes. It needs to be witty, pithy, polite but above all derogatory. Why do we pay these people to screw our lives up for us? Then let them retire at 60 on a generous pension...
All comments from the PH collective will be considered - so long as they're not too rude to write in my letter
I want to write a letter to the roads department asking exactly what it is they do during the day, how they are enriching my life and where the money goes. It needs to be witty, pithy, polite but above all derogatory. Why do we pay these people to screw our lives up for us? Then let them retire at 60 on a generous pension...
All comments from the PH collective will be considered - so long as they're not too rude to write in my letter
Tell them that they're being paid (by you) to make your journey easier and quicker, not harder and slower.
If they bleat on abuot cycle lanes, you might remind them that the ratio of cars to bicycles on any given strtech of road is probably 500:1 and their work should reflect this, not dwell on an ineffective and ineffectual minority.
>> Edited by simpo two on Wednesday 14th December 10:04
If they bleat on abuot cycle lanes, you might remind them that the ratio of cars to bicycles on any given strtech of road is probably 500:1 and their work should reflect this, not dwell on an ineffective and ineffectual minority.
>> Edited by simpo two on Wednesday 14th December 10:04
simpo two said:
Tell them that they're being paid (by you) to make your journey easier and quicker, not harder and slower.
If they bleat on abuot cycle lanes, you might remind them that the ratio of cars to bicycles on any given strtech of road is probably 500:1 and their work should reflect this, not dwell on an ineffective and ineffectual minority.
>> Edited by simpo two on Wednesday 14th December 10:04
Don't forget to ask them if they cycle when it's freezing cold and pouring with rain.....
Cav bridge is always stupidly congested (well both of them are) My parents were quite glad when I left the school there as they didn't have negotiate the traffic there on a Sat afternoon!
Start the letter: Dear Buerocratic Wan*ers,
Better still write it in phonics as I'm not sure they are capable of reading whole words yet...
Start the letter: Dear Buerocratic Wan*ers,
Better still write it in phonics as I'm not sure they are capable of reading whole words yet...
Einion Yrth said:
Start the letter: Dear Buerocratic Wan*ers,
Better still write it in phonics as I'm not sure they are capable of reading whole words yet...
Or spell it correctly to give them some chance of comprehension.
I'm an engineer - only deal in letters and numbers - not whole words
bureaucratic. is that better?
>> Edited by littlegreenfairy on Wednesday 14th December 10:41
littlegreenfairy said:
Start the letter: Dear Buerocratic Wan*ers,
Better still write it in phonics as I'm not sure they are capable of reading whole words yet...
Or spell it correctly to give them some chance of comprehension.
I'm an engineer - only deal in letters and numbers - not whole words
bureaucratic. is that better?
>> Edited by littlegreenfairy on Wednesday 14th December 10:41
y35 17 15, much.
Might help matters if the council denied permission to the developers who keep building all those bloody blocks of newly built flats in the town centre. The current road system just can't keep up with the population increase.
If you think it's bad now, wait until this little gem of a development is completed.
www.southsidereading.com/index2.htm
If you think it's bad now, wait until this little gem of a development is completed.
www.southsidereading.com/index2.htm
If it's Reading borough Council it should be addressed to:
Dear non-specific gender jumper wearing lentil eating MPV owner with a small dick and/or breasts,
Sorry to ruin your day by having to audacity to complain about the roads in and around Reading but you are a C@nt.
There I feel much better now.
your insincerely,
XXX
Dear non-specific gender jumper wearing lentil eating MPV owner with a small dick and/or breasts,
Sorry to ruin your day by having to audacity to complain about the roads in and around Reading but you are a C@nt.
There I feel much better now.
your insincerely,
XXX
Dear sir
On the 19th of August 2004, a Thai woman called Chonlathorn Vorathamrong swam 200m on her back in a time of 2 minutes and 21 seconds. This would have been unusual had it not taken place during one of the heats for the women's 200m backstroke event at the Athens Olympics, in which case I am sure you will agree that it makes perfect sense. If we take Ms Vorathamrong and assume that she can keep up a similar pace for some distance further, which I think you'll agree is not an unreasonable assumption, we might find that she can swim a distance of, say, 3.2 km in a time of just 35 minutes and 36 seconds. As this is a rather long distance, even for a professional swimmer, we might be generous and add on a further ten minutes. You know, for rests, and for her to turn round and check where she is going (she specialises in backstroke, remember).
Now, you might be wondering how this relates to you. Well, let me explain. It took me 50 minutes to get from Caversham to Thames Valley Park this morning. This is a distance of approximately two miles...or about 3.2 km.
So I was just wondering what your thoughts were on the fact that a Thai woman could swim backstroke from Caversham to Thames Valley Park in less time than it takes me to drive there.
Regards
Puggit
On the 19th of August 2004, a Thai woman called Chonlathorn Vorathamrong swam 200m on her back in a time of 2 minutes and 21 seconds. This would have been unusual had it not taken place during one of the heats for the women's 200m backstroke event at the Athens Olympics, in which case I am sure you will agree that it makes perfect sense. If we take Ms Vorathamrong and assume that she can keep up a similar pace for some distance further, which I think you'll agree is not an unreasonable assumption, we might find that she can swim a distance of, say, 3.2 km in a time of just 35 minutes and 36 seconds. As this is a rather long distance, even for a professional swimmer, we might be generous and add on a further ten minutes. You know, for rests, and for her to turn round and check where she is going (she specialises in backstroke, remember).
Now, you might be wondering how this relates to you. Well, let me explain. It took me 50 minutes to get from Caversham to Thames Valley Park this morning. This is a distance of approximately two miles...or about 3.2 km.
So I was just wondering what your thoughts were on the fact that a Thai woman could swim backstroke from Caversham to Thames Valley Park in less time than it takes me to drive there.
Regards
Puggit
littlegreenfairy said:
Start the letter: Dear Buerocratic Wan*ers,
Better still write it in phonics as I'm not sure they are capable of reading whole words yet...
Or spell it correctly to give them some chance of comprehension.
I'm an engineer - only deal in letters and numbers - not whole words
bureaucratic. is that better?
>> Edited by littlegreenfairy on Wednesday 14th December 10:41
No.
You are a representative to a diluted, abused and under appreciated industry let’s not make excuses and dig further down
Ecks Ridgehead said:
Dear sir
On the 19th of August 2004, a Thai woman called Chonlathorn Vorathamrong swam 200m on her back in a time of 2 minutes and 21 seconds. This would have been unusual had it not taken place during one of the heats for the women's 200m backstroke event at the Athens Olympics, in which case I am sure you will agree that it makes perfect sense. If we take Ms Vorathamrong and assume that she can keep up a similar pace for some distance further, which I think you'll agree is not an unreasonable assumption, we might find that she can swim a distance of, say, 3.2 km in a time of just 35 minutes and 36 seconds. As this is a rather long distance, even for a professional swimmer, we might be generous and add on a further ten minutes. You know, for rests, and for her to turn round and check where she is going (she specialises in backstroke, remember).
Now, you might be wondering how this relates to you. Well, let me explain. It took me 50 minutes to get from Caversham to Thames Valley Park this morning. This is a distance of approximately two miles...or about 3.2 km.
So I was just wondering what your thoughts were on the fact that a Thai woman could swim backstroke from Caversham to Thames Valley Park in less time than it takes me to drive there.
Regards
Puggit
Im saving that!
>> Edited by polus on Wednesday 14th December 13:25
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