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Balmoral Green

Original Poster:

42,561 posts

278 months

Wednesday 21st December 2005
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cotty

42,254 posts

314 months

Wednesday 21st December 2005
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Thank goodness for that I thought you ment the Bentley

vixpy1

42,699 posts

294 months

Wednesday 21st December 2005
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Timeline pic..

Jaglover

46,814 posts

265 months

Wednesday 21st December 2005
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vixpy1 said:
Timeline pic..


Well I hadn't seen it before

Good One

406tm

3,636 posts

283 months

Wednesday 21st December 2005
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vixpy1 said:
Timeline pic..


To hear is to Obey

R988

7,498 posts

259 months

Wednesday 21st December 2005
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Jaglover said:
vixpy1 said:
Timeline pic..


Well I hadn't seen it before

Good One


Obviously not enough time wasted on the net, more overtime required

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

285 months

Wednesday 21st December 2005
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That can't be right.....he'd have been 164

Must be a spoof.......

up-the-dubs

4,282 posts

259 months

Thursday 22nd December 2005
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mybrainhurts said:
That can't be right.....he'd have been 164

Must be a spoof.......


165 this year to be excact

s2gonzo

6,257 posts

270 months

Thursday 22nd December 2005
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Here's proof that santa doesn't exist:

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 1 in the world.

However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the population reference bureau).

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108 million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems logical).

This works out to 967.7 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney, jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are not talking about 0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops or breaks.

This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second - 3,000 times the speed of sound.

For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself.

On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that flying reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them -Santa would need 360,000 of them.

This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere.

The lead pair of reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reaches the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to acceleration forces of 17,000 g's.

A 250 pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim considering all the high calorie snacks he must have consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now. MERRY CHISTMAS!!!

rsvmilly

11,288 posts

271 months

Thursday 22nd December 2005
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vixpy1 said:
Timeline pic..
Ironically, the timeline pic has passed it's sell by, too

zippee

14,137 posts

264 months

Thursday 22nd December 2005
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406tm said:
vixpy1 said:
Timeline pic..


To hear is to Obey



Can we not have a timeline pic for the bloody timeline pic?
Getting a real PITA now that people are expected to trawl every bloody post to double check what their about to put up wasn't posted 2 weeks previously and viewed by about 5 PHers!!!!

Code Monkey

3,318 posts

287 months

Thursday 22nd December 2005
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406tm said:
vixpy1 said:
Timeline pic..


To hear is to Obey




you are about here





>> Edited by Code Monkey on Thursday 22 December 09:36