Santa - an Engineers perspective (not safe for kids )
Santa - an Engineers perspective (not safe for kids )
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alfaman

Original Poster:

6,416 posts

264 months

Saturday 24th December 2005
quotequote all
(Not sure if this has been posted before )


There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the
world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim,
Hindu,Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions,this
reduces the workload for
Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the
Population Reference Bureau).

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes
to 108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child
in each.

Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he
travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7
visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household
with a good child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the
sleigh, hop out, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute
the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been
left for him, get back up the chimney,jump into the sleigh and get on
to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed
around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will
accept for the purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about
0.78 miles per household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not
counting bathroom stops or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving
at 650 miles per second--3000 times the speed of sound.

For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle, the Ulysses
space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second, and a conventional
reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour. The payload of the
sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets
nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (1 kg), the sleigh is
carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On land,
a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 150 kg.

Even granting
that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal amount, the
job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--Santa would need
360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight
of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight
of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

600,000 tons
traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance--this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a
spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of
reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second
each. In short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously,
exposing the reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms
in their wake. The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26
thousandths of a second, or right about the time Santa reached the
fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating
from a dead stop to 650 mps in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
acceleration forces of 17,500 g's. A 120 kg Santa (which seems
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by
4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and
reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

Merry Christmas.

ferg

15,242 posts

287 months

Saturday 24th December 2005
quotequote all
I'm confused......

You haven't allowed for the magic.

C C

8,056 posts

269 months

Saturday 24th December 2005
quotequote all
ferg said:
I'm confused......

You haven't allowed for the magic.


Quite right. Alfaman you must learn to think outside the box!

Nick J

1,084 posts

254 months

Saturday 24th December 2005
quotequote all
How does he get into all the houses without chimneys?

Piglet

6,250 posts

285 months

Saturday 24th December 2005
quotequote all
That's the trouble with engineers - always a scientific soloution but no common sense You see your solution just can't be right because he manages to do it - you're clearly wrong...

vixpy1

42,699 posts

294 months

Saturday 24th December 2005
quotequote all
C C said:

Quite right. Alfaman you must learn to think outside the box!


won't get a woman pregnant that way!

tvrforever

3,196 posts

295 months

Sunday 25th December 2005
quotequote all
vixpy1 said:
C C said:

Quite right. Alfaman you must learn to think outside the box!


won't get a woman pregnant that way!


errr Mary?