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bmw114

Original Poster:

676 posts

267 months

Monday 2nd January 2006
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Need a favour, I`m at Manchester Airport and they have arrested me for being the ugliest focker in England. Can you come down now to show they`ve made a mistake.

Any more you guys.

Lois

14,706 posts

282 months

Monday 2nd January 2006
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My fave...

Today is National booze and drug day. You can do your bit by remembering and sending a text to a drunk and unstable friend. Well, that's my bit done then.

dougc

8,241 posts

295 months

Monday 2nd January 2006
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Got one from my mate on Xmas day that said 'Dear Santa, last year you got me a sweater for Christmas, his year I'd like a screamer or a moaner'

tvrgit

8,490 posts

282 months

Monday 2nd January 2006
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Good news, I have won a holiday for two in Tenerife, for me and my best friend! Seeing as you're a mate and all, I wondered - would you mind putting my bin out for me while I'm away?

RoadRailer

599 posts

258 months

Monday 2nd January 2006
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Try these two _

Happy Easter from all of us at the Alzheimer Society, and all the best for 1983!

or

A charity pantomime for Paranoid Schizophrenics descended into chaos last night, when someone in the audience shouted "He's behind You..."



bmw114

Original Poster:

676 posts

267 months

Monday 2nd January 2006
quotequote all
tvrgit said:
Good news, I have won a holiday for two in Tenerife, for me and my best friend! Seeing as you're a mate and all, I wondered - would you mind putting my bin out for me while I'm away?




I`ve heard this one before but it was for me and 16 of my mates......

Ooooooh its even worse.

Fer

7,774 posts

310 months

Monday 2nd January 2006
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Police have reported finding the body of a middle aged balding overweight man naked in the park. The only distinguishing mark is a tiny penis. Please text me back to let me know you are OK.

rolyrat

3,383 posts

253 months

Monday 2nd January 2006
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Listen, don't ring me after you read this, its not something i want to talk about on the phone. We'l talk about it later, i want to be the ont to tell you, i dont want you to hear it from anyone else. I know youre going to be upset, but i know we can sort it out and work through it...... Theres no santa, hahaha.

vixpy1

42,699 posts

294 months

Monday 2nd January 2006
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From : The Accident Group..

You're fired.










Oh, I'm sorry, thats real