Where's Basil Fawlty?
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srebbe64

Original Poster:

13,021 posts

268 months

Wednesday 25th January 2006
quotequote all
Tonight I'm staying at the worst hotel in Britain, I think! I won't be specific, other than to say I'm near Darlington. Allow me to explain:

1) On arrival they're not expecting me - I have an email and ref no. The receptionist is irritated by my presence!

2) The key doesn't work.

3) All the wall paper is falling off the wall.

4) The TV doesn't work.

5) The phone doesn't work.

6) There's no hot water.

7) They won't serve me food at 9:15, despite last orders supposed to be at 9:30 (chef's got a problem?)

8) The red wine tastes like malt vinegar.

9) The alarm clock stopped at 12:00.

10) The room's like a sauna and the radiator can't be switched. Can't open the window because of the noise outside.

I don't think I'll be rushing back - and I think I might have a quiet word with the manager in the morning!

TheExcession

11,669 posts

281 months

Wednesday 25th January 2006
quotequote all
Best to just lie back.... think of England and have a wank then....

Hopefully you'll wake up in the morning and it all be just a nasty dream....

Zod

35,295 posts

289 months

Wednesday 25th January 2006
quotequote all
but they have internet access? Or did you struggle with dial-up? Or are you a 3G whizzkid?

srebbe64

Original Poster:

13,021 posts

268 months

Wednesday 25th January 2006
quotequote all
Zod said:
but they have internet access? Or did you struggle with dial-up? Or are you a 3G whizzkid?

I've got an "Xda lls palm top" thingie. Great piece of kit, actually!

alfaman

6,416 posts

265 months

Wednesday 25th January 2006
quotequote all
If you want to stay in Fawlty Towers go to Livingstone, Zambia

where there really IS a Fawlty Towers.......... I've stayed there and its quite nice actually


didn't see Basil though , but Marion the receptionist is MUCH more attractive than Cybil


TheExcession

11,669 posts

281 months

Wednesday 25th January 2006
quotequote all
srebbe64 said:
I've got an "Xda lls palm top" thingie. Great piece of kit, actually!

srebbe64 said:
On arrival they're not expecting me - I have an email and ref no. The receptionist is irritated by my presence!
Still, at least you got a bed and an "Xda lls palm top" thingie.
srebbe64 said:
The key doesn't work.
Still, at least you managed to get to your bed and play with your "Xda lls palm top" thingie.
srebbe64 said:
All the wall paper is falling off the wall.
You could always just play with your "Xda lls palm top" thingie.
srebbe64 said:
The TV doesn't work.
Can't you look at porn on your "Xda lls palm top" thingie?
srebbe64 said:
The phone doesn't work.
but you've got an "Xda lls palm top" thingie?
srebbe64 said:
There's no hot water.
Hot water is for puffs that don't have an "Xda lls palm top" thingie
srebbe64 said:
They won't serve me food at 9:15, despite last orders supposed to be at 9:30 (chef's got a problem?)
Can't you phone out for a take away or pizza with your "Xda lls palm top" thingie
srebbe64 said:
The red wine tastes like malt vinegar.
Check out some late night establishments on your "Xda lls palm top" thingie
srebbe64 said:
The alarm clock stopped at 12:00.
Doesn't an "Xda lls palm top" thingie have an alarm clock?
srebbe64 said:
The room's like a sauna and the radiator can't be switched. Can't open the window because of the noise outside.
Take a cold bath/shower?





srebbe64

Original Poster:

13,021 posts

268 months

Wednesday 25th January 2006
quotequote all
alfaman said:

didn't see Basil though , but Marion the receptionist is MUCH more attractive than Cybil

I think I can safely say that is definitely NOT the case at this particular facility!

alfaman

6,416 posts

265 months

Wednesday 25th January 2006
quotequote all
srebbe64 said:
alfaman said:

didn't see Basil though , but Marion the receptionist is MUCH more attractive than Cybil

I think I can safely say that is definitely NOT the case at this particular facility!


Have you considered using Premier Travel-Inns (or similar )when / where you are unsure of the local hotel ? - I have always found them to be a decent standard and consistent .

BliarOut

72,863 posts

270 months

Wednesday 25th January 2006
quotequote all
TheExcession said:
srebbe64 said:
I've got an "Xda lls palm top" thingie. Great piece of kit, actually!

srebbe64 said:
On arrival they're not expecting me - I have an email and ref no. The receptionist is irritated by my presence!
Still, at least you got a bed and an "Xda lls palm top" thingie.
srebbe64 said:
The key doesn't work.
Still, at least you managed to get to your bed and play with your "Xda lls palm top" thingie.
srebbe64 said:
All the wall paper is falling off the wall.
You could always just play with your "Xda lls palm top" thingie.
srebbe64 said:
The TV doesn't work.
Can't you look at porn on your "Xda lls palm top" thingie?
srebbe64 said:
The phone doesn't work.
but you've got an "Xda lls palm top" thingie?
srebbe64 said:
There's no hot water.
Hot water is for puffs that don't have an "Xda lls palm top" thingie
srebbe64 said:
They won't serve me food at 9:15, despite last orders supposed to be at 9:30 (chef's got a problem?)
Can't you phone out for a take away or pizza with your "Xda lls palm top" thingie
srebbe64 said:
The red wine tastes like malt vinegar.
Check out some late night establishments on your "Xda lls palm top" thingie
srebbe64 said:
The alarm clock stopped at 12:00.
Doesn't an "Xda lls palm top" thingie have an alarm clock?
srebbe64 said:
The room's like a sauna and the radiator can't be switched. Can't open the window because of the noise outside.
Take a cold bath/shower?







Post of the month so far for me Ex

sparkythecat

8,108 posts

286 months

Wednesday 25th January 2006
quotequote all

TheExcession

11,669 posts

281 months

Wednesday 25th January 2006
quotequote all
BliarOut said:
Post of the month so far for me Ex

cheers mate... how are the guts holding out?

Maybe shrubbery44 could look up some cures for you on his old "Xda lls palm top" thingie

up-the-dubs

4,282 posts

260 months

Thursday 26th January 2006
quotequote all
TheExcession said:
The funniest post I've read in a long time


Sorry srebbe!

simpo two

92,994 posts

296 months

Thursday 26th January 2006
quotequote all
Could be worse - I recently paid $340 a night for a town's 'finest hotel' and had to toast my own fecking bread for breakfast...

Pigeon

18,535 posts

277 months

Thursday 26th January 2006
quotequote all
simpo two said:
Could be worse - I recently paid $340 a night for a town's 'finest hotel' and had to toast my own fecking bread for breakfast...

Still, at least they gave you a toaster.

Or did you have to do it with a lighter?

scared but happy

24,147 posts

260 months

Thursday 26th January 2006
quotequote all
I have the XDA IIi, good phones. Did you do any wi-fi hotspot sniffing?
Has your XDA got droopy keyboard syndrome yet?

>> Edited by scared but happy on Thursday 26th January 07:56

TheExcession

11,669 posts

281 months

Thursday 26th January 2006
quotequote all
Having given the matter even more thought.....

Can you get a software developers kit for an "Xda lls palm top" thingie?

Can you see where I'm going here? All those lonely nights away in hotels, what great opportunity to develop the next Killer Application.

I'm thinking something coupled with GPS and a list of all the known garages in the world... Then when you get out of the car at a filling station and approach a pump it rings a little reminder bell, up pops a picture of each of your cars with a little picture of a particularly relevent pump handle next to it...

This Application could save people a small fortune in costly fueling mistakes....

puggit

49,822 posts

279 months

Thursday 26th January 2006
quotequote all
Staying in a 'Scandic' hotel (part of Hilton) in Uppsala, Sweden last night.

Great hotel! About £100 for the night, including free (yes FREE) wireless internet access. Everything's wooden, everyone speaks fluent English and breakfast, part of the cost, was incredible. No bath though, just a wet room with shower...

BliarOut

72,863 posts

270 months

Thursday 26th January 2006
quotequote all
TheExcession said:
BliarOut said:
Post of the month so far for me Ex

cheers mate... how are the guts holding out?

Maybe shrubbery44 could look up some cures for you on his old "Xda lls palm top" thingie


They're fine now thanks... Even eating chicken again


Any excuse to bump this for anyone that's missed it!

srebbe64

Original Poster:

13,021 posts

268 months

Thursday 26th January 2006
quotequote all
Well I've since left the said hotel and have since had a meeting with a client (oh how we laughed!)

This morning I went down for breakfast, and ordered a 'full English breakfast + toast. Anyway, breakfast arrived with no eggs - because they've run out!

Finally, I complained to the duty manager who suggested I write a letter to the main man. I asked for his/her name and she said she can't tell me because of the "data protection act" - at which I replied "what a load of cobblers!"

I will, however, be dropping a letter to the hotel. And, more to the point, I'll get my PA to report my experience to the particular agency she used.

vixpy1

42,699 posts

295 months

Thursday 26th January 2006
quotequote all
srebbe64 said:
I'll get my PA to report my experience to the particular agency she used.


Ooh, see the PA thread.