Wife Beater-What would you do?
Discussion
I hate to say it but she needs to disappear. He is unlikely to leave her alone, he is unlikely to stop harassing her - not necessarily because he "loves" her but because he needs to control her and won't take kindly to her giving him the order of the boot.
She needs to up and leave and go somewhere that he can't find her until he's found someone else to control.
She needs to up and leave and go somewhere that he can't find her until he's found someone else to control.
love machine said:
What would you do?
While he's gon I'd pack anything essential, forget anything she doesn't need, and book her into a hotel, or live at my place until she can sort something out, I'd also deny all knowledge to hubby.
Snag is they have a few kids, hence him turning up, he doesn't live with her, it's her pad though. Obviously, they think their Dad is the best bloke in the world.....
He doesn't even live there!
In that case some sort of restraining order is called for.
If he's been abusive to her before she needs to apply to the Court for what I think is still called a non-molestation order to keep him away from her. She then needs to deal with a contact order for him with the children at somewhere where he is supervised if there is any doubt about the children's safety.
If she's not reported this to the police previously she might have problems getting this sorted.
She needs good legal advice from a family lawyer.
If she's not reported this to the police previously she might have problems getting this sorted.
She needs good legal advice from a family lawyer.
Get her (and the kids) out of there and to safety as soon as possible. Go to the police if necessary and think about contacting Refuge www.refuge.org.uk/. It'll no doubt get messy but she has to get away and fast - her life could be in danger, and he is f
scum.
I'm sure Wedge_Girl would be able to give you plenty of advice on this subject.
Good luck.
scum. I'm sure Wedge_Girl would be able to give you plenty of advice on this subject.
Good luck.
shnozz said:
I have to say it amazes me the amount of blokes that are so possessive and paranoid. Particularly when they are off boffing other women anyway. Can't get my head around it.
I guess its the control freak thing ,, and like you it amazes me that
A, They get a kick out of it
And
B, That the women put up with it
Still i supose it starts slowly and builds up over time
she just needs to disappear without any notice, then ring him or write him a letter. Men like this are not worth teh respect of a face to face chat - indeed they are incapable of such things.
If things get nasty and he begins to stalk her, as i am sure he will by the sounds of him, then two options - the police, or a polite 'anonimous' telephone call suggesting he keeps away or else.... and be sure to follow up on the promise with some suitably large firends if he chooses to hang around
If things get nasty and he begins to stalk her, as i am sure he will by the sounds of him, then two options - the police, or a polite 'anonimous' telephone call suggesting he keeps away or else.... and be sure to follow up on the promise with some suitably large firends if he chooses to hang around
love machine said:
So, in typical wife beater victim style, she falls down the stairs and walks into things and her family are none the wiser (if they found out, he would have to leave the country).
Why would he have to leave the country if her family found out what was going on?
And if he was forced to leave wouldn't that be good ridance?
If this really is the case, and it sounds a bit strange unless he's an illegal immigrant or her family are the local mafia, then why not tell them? He leaves the country. Result.
love machine said:
Why do they marry these tossers in the first place i ask?
He's a very charming, good looking, rich man. The rot was probably well hidden from view. Rot, I understand which is a result of a particularly harsh childhood.
It's very often the way. And because of this, it'll make it difficult for friends and relatives to believe her and she'll feel isolated until they eventually (hopefully) come to realise what kind of man he is, beneath the polished exterior.
cossie. said:
Get her (and the kids) out of there and to safety as soon as possible. Go to the police if necessary and think about contacting Refuge www.refuge.org.uk/. It'll no doubt get messy but she has to get away and fast - her life could be in danger, and he is f
I'm sure Wedge_Girl would be able to give you plenty of advice on this subject.
Good luck.
I totally agree,Don't wait around any longer.The man is Dangerous,Not trying to scar you,but I must be Honest.Saw this type of thing happen here in the States with a person I knew.He killed Her and Himself.This is Very Serious especially if He has used Violence in the Past...Notify the Police of Your intentions so there is a Record of this...Good Luck "Be Safe" Leave Now!!!!!!
So. You mention that if her family knew about the history of violence he'd have to leave the country.
Blab. I take it she has several brothers of the large variety with names like Knife McCaulay and Knuckles Jim.
Persuade her to use the family. All you need do is say to her you are worried and couldn't perhaps her family be visiting around the time she needs to see the abusive ex. They come round, drink a few beers, and ensure that the conversation remains civilised, once he's gone you have a nice family dinner. No need to make too much of it.
If he's dumb and doesn't get the message what happens to him wasn't your fault.
Blab. I take it she has several brothers of the large variety with names like Knife McCaulay and Knuckles Jim.
Persuade her to use the family. All you need do is say to her you are worried and couldn't perhaps her family be visiting around the time she needs to see the abusive ex. They come round, drink a few beers, and ensure that the conversation remains civilised, once he's gone you have a nice family dinner. No need to make too much of it.
If he's dumb and doesn't get the message what happens to him wasn't your fault.
Gassing Station | The Pie & Piston Archive | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff