For everyone with a daughter!!
For everyone with a daughter!!
Author
Discussion

samol

Original Poster:

236 posts

289 months

Monday 6th February 2006
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A couple arrive home to their 5-bedroom house in a leafy suburb. Upon entering the house, they call out for their eldest daughter, whose 18th birthday it was that day. The expected answer did not come, so the father went upstairs. He knocked and entered his daughter's bedroom and saw a letter on the bed.

With the worst possible premonition, he read with trembling hands:

Dear Mum and Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm telling you that I've eloped with my new boyfriend. I've found real love and he is so nice, especially with all his piercings, scars, tattoos, and his big motorcycle. But it is not only that, I'm pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy in his trailer in the woods. He wants to have many more children with me and that is one of my dreams.

I've learned that marijuana doesn't hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and his friends. They're the ones providing us with all the cocaine and ecstasy we could ever want.

In the meantime, we'll pray for science to find the AIDS cure so Ahmed gets better. He deserves it. Don't worry about money, Ahmed has arranged for me to be in films that his friends Leroy and Jamal make in their basement.

Apparently I can earn £50 a scene and I get a £50 bonus if there are more than three men in the scene, and an extra £100 if they use a horse. Don't worry Mum, now I'm 18 years old I know how to take care of myself.

Someday I'll visit you and Dad so that you can meet your grandchildren.

Your loving daughter, Aimee



P.S. Dad, it's not true, I'm at a neighbours house. I just wanted to show you that there are worse things in life than denting the car. Sorry about your Mercedes.

CatherineJ

9,586 posts

274 months

Monday 6th February 2006
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Priceless

minimax

11,985 posts

287 months

Monday 6th February 2006
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nice

johnjr

4,775 posts

254 months

Monday 6th February 2006
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Thats good!!!!

Bloody daughters (will i ever have one....I don't know)

Popzak

794 posts

250 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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Absolutely Brilliant

ErnestM

11,621 posts

298 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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Mine's not dating until she's 30. Even then, she will be chaparoned. I plan on cleaning the Glock on the kitchen table whenever she has a new friend over. If that doesn't work I'll invite her Uncle Mike (ex SEAL) over for a few beers prior to said unfortunate lad turning up...

...they'll leave skidmarks. and then they'll get in their car


ErnestM

klassiekerrally

2,543 posts

286 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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At what age do girls start dating nowadays? (my daughter is 5 years old...)

jimothy

5,151 posts

268 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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klassiekerrally said:

At what age do girls start dating nowadays? (my daughter is 5 years old...)


If you live on a council estate, she'll be pregnant in 6 years time...

pesty

42,655 posts

287 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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klassiekerrally said:

At what age do girls start dating nowadays? (my daughter is 5 years old...)


My 9 YO has apparently got a boyfreind.

its ok though Ive locked her in the house

klassiekerrally

2,543 posts

286 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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jimothy said:
klassiekerrally said:

At what age do girls start dating nowadays? (my daughter is 5 years old...)


If you live on a council estate, she'll be pregnant in 6 years time...

Then I would be a grandad at 43! eh...

>> Edited by klassiekerrally on Tuesday 7th February 10:30

Yugguy

10,728 posts

266 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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ErnestM said:
Mine's not dating until she's 30. Even then, she will be chaparoned. I plan on cleaning the Glock on the kitchen table whenever she has a new friend over. If that doesn't work I'll invite her Uncle Mike (ex SEAL) over for a few beers prior to said unfortunate lad turning up...

...they'll leave skidmarks. and then they'll get in their car


ErnestM


Ditto.

Ian Lewis

464 posts

279 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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Marvellous

r988

7,501 posts

260 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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jimothy said:
klassiekerrally said:

At what age do girls start dating nowadays? (my daughter is 5 years old...)


If you live on a council estate, she'll be pregnant in 6 years time...


Was the same in the middle ages, just that they got married at that age as well

vixpy1

42,699 posts

295 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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Sorely disapointed by this thread..

samol

Original Poster:

236 posts

289 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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vixpy1 said:
Sorely disapointed by this thread..

"Spelling" and why?

simpo two

93,039 posts

296 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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ErnestM said:
Mine's not dating until she's 30. Even then, she will be chaparoned. I plan on cleaning the Glock on the kitchen table whenever she has a new friend over.

I misread that!

vixpy1

42,699 posts

295 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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samol said:
vixpy1 said:
Sorely disapointed by this thread..

"Spelling" and why?


I thought this was going to be an advert

beanbag

7,346 posts

272 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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Be a little bit fair! There are some nice guys out there!!!! I'm shaking in terror as I'm meeting my girlfriends parents in Bulgaria for the first time next week!

My girlfriend was kind enough to tell me about her fathers Colt Python and the fact that he has never liked any of her previous boyfriends (two). He also doesn't speak any English so I'm sure of awkward silences happening frequently.

Lucky I have that bottle of malt whiskey to help smooth things over later.....

I guess the good thing is her mum is nice and her little sister likes me!

vixpy1

42,699 posts

295 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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beanbag said:
Be a little bit fair! There are some nice guys out there!!!!


I have this horrible fear that if i have a daughter she might meet someone like me

bad_roo

5,196 posts

268 months

Tuesday 7th February 2006
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The horror that your daughter could date somebody called Ahmed.