Abu Hamza, The Musical
Author
Discussion

mybrainhurts

Original Poster:

90,809 posts

286 months

Friday 10th February 2006
quotequote all
Just seen a few snippets about Abu Hamza, and I reckon there's scope for a real gut wrenching comedy musical here.

Born in Egypt, came over here, studied engineering, worked at Sandhurst Military Academy....

Went bonkers, went to fight Russians in Afghanisan, turned self-appointed religious freak.....

Claims he lost his hands, selflessly clearing mines in Afghanistan...

Thought to have lost his hands in Bosnia shaking a home-made bomb to see if it rattled....

His real name....?

Mustafa Kamel Mustafa....

kneel and be still, my lovley......

>> Edited by mybrainhurts on Friday 10th February 15:17

slapmatt

1,132 posts

253 months

Friday 10th February 2006
quotequote all
Jesus H Christ - if a couple of cartoons make them go on the rampage like we've seen in the last week, imagine what a musical about ol' hook hand will stir up. They'll shit a brick.

Let's do it!

alexkp

16,484 posts

275 months

Friday 10th February 2006
quotequote all
I am currently trying to secure backing for my new "specialist interest" feature film - it is based upon the unwritten exploits of the revered one during his time spent in the desert with a whole bevy of virgins and assorted livestock.

Anyone want a pice of the action?

mybrainhurts

Original Poster:

90,809 posts

286 months

Friday 10th February 2006
quotequote all
How does he wipe his bum with that hook..?

We need to know....

alfaman

6,416 posts

265 months

Friday 10th February 2006
quotequote all
Funny , reading this has a prompted a song in my head that just won't go away .....

can't remember the name , it goes ....

"Hands Up !!, Baby Hands Up !!! give me all your love .....etc. " could be used in the musical


Actually something along the line of "The Producers" featuring Islamic Extremists rather than Nazis would be hilarious and just a tad offensive - and you could have dancing chorus girls in Burkas.

deckster

9,631 posts

286 months

Friday 10th February 2006
quotequote all
mybrainhurts said:
How does he wipe his bum with that hook..?

We need to know....


Very, very carefully.

havoc

33,500 posts

266 months

Friday 10th February 2006
quotequote all
alfaman said:
Actually something along the line of "The Producers" featuring Islamic Extremists rather than Nazis would be hilarious and just a tad offensive - and you could have dancing chorus girls in Burkas.
Even Mel Brooks wouldn't go there! I think he only 'got away' with The Producers because he's Jewish!

Lovely thought though!

simpo two

93,053 posts

296 months

Friday 10th February 2006
quotequote all
One thing that will always keep us above the Muslim hordes is a sense of humour.

We have one, and it's undefeatable. The more pressure is applied, the stronger it becomes and the more baffling to our enemies it gets.

peterpeter

6,438 posts

288 months

Saturday 11th February 2006
quotequote all
simpo two said:
One thing that will always keep us above the Muslim hordes is a sense of humour.

We have one, and it's undefeatable. The more pressure is applied, the stronger it becomes and the more baffling to our enemies it gets.



I will ask you again...why not come along to a mosque with me?

Andy Mac

73,668 posts

286 months

Saturday 11th February 2006
quotequote all
mybrainhurts said:

Went bonkers, went to fight Russians in Afghanisan,

Aren't there people in Guantanamo Bay for this very act? How come it is OK if it is in our interest, but if not, they get locked up with no access to any sort of civilised law?

littleowl

928 posts

264 months

Saturday 11th February 2006
quotequote all
I reckon the best way to deal with him is lock him in a prison cell, put a boxing glove on his one 'good' hand and a load of itching powder up his arse and leave him to it........

hugoagogo

23,438 posts

264 months

Saturday 11th February 2006
quotequote all
littleowl said:
I reckon the best way to deal with him is lock him in a prison cell, put a boxing glove on his one 'good' hand and a load of itching powder up his arse and leave him to it........



he has NO hands

Andy Mac

73,668 posts

286 months

Saturday 11th February 2006
quotequote all
What was his crime?

rumpelstiltskin

2,805 posts

290 months

Saturday 11th February 2006
quotequote all
I reckon you could make some kind of musical production out of old Abu,as long as all the songs in the musical have a good 'hook' to their melodies.Titles?Cats could become,"Prats",then there's "Phany of the Opera","StarSheit Express",Jesus Christ Supertwat","fAnnie","The Ding and Eye",alright i've thought of something better to do now....:-)

>> Edited by rumpelstiltskin on Saturday 11th February 14:42

>> Edited by rumpelstiltskin on Saturday 11th February 17:30

Andy Mac

73,668 posts

286 months

Saturday 11th February 2006
quotequote all

littleowl

928 posts

264 months

Saturday 11th February 2006
quotequote all
Thought he was only missing one hand, not both. I stand corrected.
Perhaps we should till him to 'sling his hook' then....

rich 36

13,739 posts

297 months

Saturday 11th February 2006
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SPRINTIME,For Hamzaaaa,
in Wormwoodscrubs...........




springtime
for hamza
in wormwoodscrubs,

Dont' be stupid be a smarty,
come and join our Jihad party!


>> Edited by rich 36 on Saturday 11th February 16:14

>> Edited by rich 36 on Saturday 11th February 16:22

alfaman

6,416 posts

265 months

Saturday 11th February 2006
quotequote all
you swine ! I've just sprayed coffee all over my laptop!

andy 308gtb

3,062 posts

252 months

Saturday 11th February 2006
quotequote all
[quote=alfaman]Funny , reading this has a prompted a song in my head that just won't go away .....
can't remember the name , it goes ....

"Hands Up !!, Baby Hands Up !!! give me all your love .....etc. " could be used in the musical
quote]

Hands Up (give me Your Heart, baby) - Ottowan

Why, Oh Why, do I know things like this.

rumpelstiltskin

2,805 posts

290 months

Saturday 11th February 2006
quotequote all
I bought that single!Oops,did i just say that out loud on an internet forum?Nah,i think i've got away with it.