Wayhay! Shafted a brace O' muggers today.
Wayhay! Shafted a brace O' muggers today.
Author
Discussion

tuttle

Original Poster:

3,427 posts

268 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
Still a bit adrenalined up so please excuse excess babbling.

On my, fairly expensive mountain bike this pm, rush hr. Stopped at some lights in a rather less than solubrious neighbourhood, plenty of people about etc.
Two blokes tried to take the bike off me. I didn't really think about anything & I'm certainly not trained in the black arts or anything, just picked up the bike & swung it round my feckin head. Clunk! one of them catches a brake lever in the face which seems to have gone through his bastid cheek & he is now running round in circles, still attached to my bike, like a fish on hook. The other (obviously the brains of the outfit!) seems to have lost all momentum, decides to liberate his accomplice from my 'angler-cycle' by grabbing him round the shoulders & pulling him backwards,they're both running round in circles now. Matey #1 is having none of it & lashes out at matey#2. There is an aweful squelching, ripping sound. Both are now fighting on the floor in the middle of the road.
Having a massive overdose of adrenaline I run away, bike on shoulder.

In hindsight it would have been great to see what the outcome was, though I expect plod would have taken a very dim view & charged me with GBH or something.
F IT, I feel quite pleased with meself!

F.M

5,816 posts

251 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
well done my man....and you didn`t have to wait 2hrs for the plod to appear!

Jaglover

46,845 posts

266 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
Well Done

That's one Chav Scum who will be spending some time in hospital before he's out on the streets again.

eccles

14,415 posts

253 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
i hope you were wearing lycra, there can't be anything worse than saying you were bettered by a bloke in lycra!

randlemarcus

13,646 posts

262 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
Well done that man.
I suspect it would, as you say, be at best pointless, and at worst chargeable, to report it, which is a shame.

Still, cracking result.

Popzak

794 posts

250 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
Well done mate,I Love a Story with a Happy Ending

tuttle

Original Poster:

3,427 posts

268 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
eccles said:
i hope you were wearing lycra, there can't be anything worse than saying you were bettered by a bloke in lycra!


wish I'd thought of that!

I don't expect plod showed up at all. I was running away (not cylcling note! ) because I was, quite honestly, scared.

paulie-mafia

3,321 posts

254 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
Well done! Know what you mean about being shaken, something similar happened to me once. Have yourself a nice drink and perfect your story for everyone at work tomorrow!

lord summerisle

8,174 posts

256 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
bet he thinks its now better to be shaken rather than stirred




well done that man

Rob_F

4,155 posts

295 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
I'd take it off the internet sharpish mate, i know it's unlikely that you'll be charged for assault but much stranger things have happened....

Well ing Done Though

ApexClipper

27,793 posts

274 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
Pure dead brilliant


I'm honestly sniggering away at the screen here!

gingerpaul

2,929 posts

274 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
Good effort!

Since watching My Name Is Earl I having been noticing a few bits of karma flying around (so to speak )

Echo the comments about removing the story though. Although unlikely, stranger things have happened than prosecution based on forum posts.

Pat H

8,058 posts

287 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
gingerpaul said:
Echo the comments about removing the story though. Although unlikely, stranger things have happened than prosecution based on forum posts.
Nah, he's just used reasonable force to defend himself and his property against two men who were committing an attempted robbery.


trackdemon

13,491 posts

292 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
tuttle said:
Still a bit adrenalined up so please excuse excess babbling.

On my, fairly expensive mountain bike this pm, rush hr. Stopped at some lights in a rather less than solubrious neighbourhood, plenty of people about etc.
Two blokes tried to take the bike off me. I didn't really think about anything & I'm certainly not trained in the black arts or anything, just picked up the bike & swung it round my feckin head. Clunk! one of them catches a brake lever in the face which seems to have gone through his bastid cheek & he is now running round in circles, still attached to my bike, like a fish on hook. The other (obviously the brains of the outfit!) seems to have lost all momentum, decides to liberate his accomplice from my 'angler-cycle' by grabbing him round the shoulders & pulling him backwards,they're both running round in circles now. Matey #1 is having none of it & lashes out at matey#2. There is an aweful squelching, ripping sound. Both are now fighting on the floor in the middle of the road.
Having a massive overdose of adrenaline I run away, bike on shoulder.

In hindsight it would have been great to see what the outcome was, though I expect plod would have taken a very dim view & charged me with GBH or something.
F IT, I feel quite pleased with meself!


Great story

R988

7,501 posts

260 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
Pat H said:
gingerpaul said:
Echo the comments about removing the story though. Although unlikely, stranger things have happened than prosecution based on forum posts.
Nah, he's just used reasonable force to defend himself and his property against two men who were committing an attempted robbery.




I agree, perfectly legit, if he had stuck around and layed the boot in a few times while they were on the ground then it would be another story.

Nicol@

3,851 posts

267 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
Well done.

Hopefully you put them off attempting that again.

Glad you and the bike are still together

sparkythecat

8,111 posts

286 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
tuttle said:
.

On my, fairly expensive mountain bike this pm, rush hr. Stopped at some lights in a rather less than solubrious neighbourhood, plenty of people about etc.
Two blokes tried to take the bike off me. I didn't really think about anything & I'm certainly not trained in the black arts or anything, just picked up the bike & swung it round my feckin head. Clunk! one of them catches a brake lever in the face which seems to have gone through his bastid cheek & he is now running round in circles, still attached to my bike, like a fish on hook. The other (obviously the brains of the outfit!) seems to have lost all momentum, decides to liberate his accomplice from my 'angler-cycle' by grabbing him round the shoulders & pulling him backwards,they're both running round in circles now. Matey #1 is having none of it & lashes out at matey#2. There is an aweful squelching, ripping sound. Both are now fighting on the floor in the middle of the road.
Having a massive overdose of adrenaline I run away, bike on shoulder.


And that M'Lud concludes the case for the defense

BliarOut

72,863 posts

270 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
And justice was seen to be done. Oh

Bet the will think twice about trying that sort of thing again.

>> Edited by BliarOut on Wednesday 1st March 21:11

tuttle

Original Poster:

3,427 posts

268 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
Rob_F said:
I'd take it off the internet sharpish mate, i know it's unlikely that you'll be charged for assault but much stranger things have happened....

Well ing Done Though


Surely, unless either creep #1 or #2 actually lodge some kind of formal complaint, this is all technically just hearsay & could be argued that it was 'just for entertainment'. Or at least something like that, you know the kind of thing thats written on the packaging of replica guns or laser jammers etc.


Cheers all for the kind words.
btw I'm not even remotely tough.

morrisman

264 posts

249 months

Wednesday 1st March 2006
quotequote all
tuttle said:
Still a bit adrenalined up so please excuse excess babbling.

On my, fairly expensive mountain bike this pm, rush hr. Stopped at some lights in a rather less than solubrious neighbourhood, plenty of people about etc.
Two blokes tried to take the bike off me. I didn't really think about anything & I'm certainly not trained in the black arts or anything, just picked up the bike & swung it round my feckin head. Clunk! one of them catches a brake lever in the face which seems to have gone through his bastid cheek & he is now running round in circles, still attached to my bike, like a fish on hook. The other (obviously the brains of the outfit!) seems to have lost all momentum, decides to liberate his accomplice from my 'angler-cycle' by grabbing him round the shoulders & pulling him backwards,they're both running round in circles now. Matey #1 is having none of it & lashes out at matey#2. There is an aweful squelching, ripping sound. Both are now fighting on the floor in the middle of the road.
Having a massive overdose of adrenaline I run away, bike on shoulder.

In hindsight it would have been great to see what the outcome was, though I expect plod would have taken a very dim view & charged me with GBH or something.
F IT, I feel quite pleased with meself!


Glad to see someone prepared to fight back. I admire you.

The fact that the brake lever caught him in the face as you were trying to retrieve the bike from his pulling, clutching hands is a shame. People might think that you, heaven forbid, had actually wanted to hurt the poor deprived individual.

But just remember to tell the cops that if they ask why you hurt him!