Funny things that kids say

[blindswelledrat]

My eldest daughter is 2 years and 3months and is forever amazing me with the sayings and phrases which she uses in context. If she hears it once then its there forever.
The other day Spurs conceeded a late goal yet again and I muttered 'Oh for....'and managed to stop myself before she added 'fuxx sake' before running round laughing repeating 'for s sake' over and over again

Other recent funnies from the said 2year old include:
-'Daddy stop annoying me'
-'Daddy stop talking to me you're giving me a bit of a headache'
-'No I can't do it now I'm a bit busy'
-'What i really need is a treat'

There are dozens of similar ones I can't remember at the moment. You all must have more!

[touchingcloth]

My favourite comes not from my own but from my niece. It was her Birthday party and she had aquired a motorised tractor to drive around her garden in, the place was busy with other children and parents, all quite civilised. However another child managed to get in the way of my niece, slightly annoyed by this she stood up out of the seat and shouted "Get out of the way you fcking bitch"...... the place fell silent and the poor boy who had dared get in her way burst into tears.
I however laughed my arse off.

[PhillT]

My mum assures me that at the age of about four I fell over, picked myself up and muttered 'Oops, gravity prevails again'.
I must have been so annoying...

[PetrolTed]

PhillT said:

My mum assures me that at the age of about four I fell over, picked myself up and muttered 'Oops, gravity prevails again'. I must have been so annoying...

classic

[vixpy1]

touchingcloth said:

"Get out of the way you fcking bitch"...... the place fell silent and the poor boy who had dared get in her way burst into tears. I however laughed my arse off.

[evolutionvalet]

My 2 year old has told his nusery teacher that he was getting picked up in Dad's f#ck.....I drive a F150 pickup TRUCK : (

[sleep envy]

PhillT said:

My mum assures me that at the age of about four I fell over, picked myself up and muttered 'Oops, gravity prevails again'. I must have been so annoying...

You sure you're not Martin from The Simpsons???

[timmy30]

touchingcloth said:

my niece, slightly annoyed by this she stood up out of the seat and shouted "Get out of the way you fcking bitch"...... the place fell silent and the poor boy who had dared get in her way burst into tears.

[BliarOut]

My eldest. "Talk to the hand cos the face ain't listening", complete with an outstretched palm. She only came up to my hip at the time FFS

[Nick P]

PhillT said:

My mum assures me that at the age of about four I fell over, picked myself up and muttered 'Oops, gravity prevails again'. I must have been so annoying...

were you bullied badly?

[johnniem]

With four teenage kids I can only suggest that you do what my wife did with her two (my stepkids). When they say something funny, write it down in a special note book (you know the ones; cute bunny, wild flowers or romping puppy on front cover' from W H Smith or suchlike!). Note what they said, age, date and sometimes the reasons for what was said. Keep it a secret and give it to them on their 18th/21st. They'll love it and it shows that you cared and had a laugh sometimes.

[PhillT]

I don't remember me saying it, I wouldn't have the presence of mind to phrase it so eloquently these days!
Mind you, I was a precocious little git.

[Einion Yrth]

johnniem said:

With four teenage kids I can only suggest that you do what my wife did with her two (my stepkids). When they say something funny, write it down in a special note book (you know the ones; cute bunny, wild flowers or romping puppy on front cover' from W H Smith or suchlike!). Note what they said, age, date and sometimes the reasons for what was said. Keep it a secret and give it to them on their 18th/21st. They'll love it and it shows that you cared and had a laugh sometimes.

Better still you can use it to embarass them when they bring boy/girlfriends home.

[bimsb6]

my lad was about 2 when sitting in his child seat on evening suddenly shouted out
'oh no' what's up? we said he replied 'the skies on fire 'he was looking at the sunset !

[bimsb6]

my lad was out with his mum in mickey d's having a burger some years ago when his little
voice piped up 'is that a wog mummy ?' she nearly curled up and died .don't know where that came from .

[vixpy1]

When my father was young he used to drive his little toy tractor round the Farm in yorkshire. He picked up the word 'bugger' from one of the farm hands and thought it would be a great tractor noise.

My Grandfather was greeting guests when my father popped round the corner on his Tractor going..


bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger

[john75]

For some reason the two year old son of a friend of mine runs round saying gaybar.

Also a freind of mine taught him to call me a "w*nker"

>> Edited by john75 on Friday 3rd March 17:34

[r988]

vixpy1 said:

When my father was young he used to drive his little toy tractor round the Farm in yorkshire. He picked up the word 'bugger' from one of the farm hands and thought it would be a great tractor noise. My Grandfather was greeting guests when my father popped round the corner on his Tractor going.. bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger bugger

runs in the family then?

[Nick P]

john75 said:

For some reason the two year old son of a friend of mine runs round saying gaybar. Also a freind of mine taught him to call me a "w*nker" >> Edited by john75 on Friday 3rd March 17:34

thats understandable

[john75]

Nick P said:

john75 said: For some reason the two year old son of a friend of mine runs round saying gaybar. Also a freind of mine taught him to call me a "w*nker" >> Edited by john75 on Friday 3rd March 17:34 thats understandable

Thanks