The girlfriend, the stripper and the Birthday Of Doom
Discussion
Well, a few folks saw my post of woe on Friday, but it’s time to give it a thread of its own and update matters. It’s cathartic for me and, well, tragic/amusing/encouraging for you.
My beloved other half had a birthday recently – Friday in fact. As Friday would be dinner with the family, and Saturday the big party in a bar with friends, Thursday night was our night for a little spot of dinner, tete-a-tete. Catch up, see the birthday in. Be romantic. Spend a night alone together before she flew out to her parents’ place in Spain for a month.
I had this one organised – I really did. Ordered the present in plenty of time, booked a restaurant, took a change of clothes into work so I could shower and look decent for her.
Sadly, events left my marginal control and in a vicious combination of miserable events, my life has taken a distinct turn for the worse. First misjudgment was going out to lunch with one of our more notorious clients. Second mistake was to stay out all afternoon getting tanked. At this point, things were bad, but easily recoverable with some charm and a bunch of flowers. But that’s not how it went. Mistake number three was getting so drunk that I completely forgot my plans for the evening. Mistake four was going to the strip club. Mistake 5 was accepting the client’s offer of several lapdances. Mistake 6 was letting the stripper answer my phone, thinking it was one of the boys and would be funny. It wasn’t. It was my girlfriend.
I knew that The Fates were against me when I crawled into work on the morning of her actual birthday and her present had failed to arrive (with great timing it arrived this morning, over a week late, and she has now gone away for a month). Mind you, it didn’t get to be a proper bloodbath until she told her parents what I had done, in a restaurant, in front of 8 other members of her family.
It’s been a brutal weekend, I’m barely being talked to (and it’s more shouting than talking, really), and I’m not entirely sure that I will be joining her abroad in 2 weeks as was the original plan. Compounded by me turning out to have accidentally (and completely without memory) brought an item of intimate clothing belonging to one of the showgirls concerned home, and my OH finding it. In the bedroom obviously – because given the staggering ill-fortune and lack of judgement demonstrated by recent events, where else would I have drunkenly dropped it but in the bed my girlfriend shares with me when she’s over at my place?
Oh, and if anyone wants a 37” LCD HD TV, let me know. Got one going spare BECAUSE THE STUPID B*STARDS FAILED TO DELIVER IT ON TIME. This mess is all their fault, clearly.
The dark gods are laughing at Harry. Who is, let’s face it, pretty much the worst boyfriend on the face of this naughty old planet of ours.
My beloved other half had a birthday recently – Friday in fact. As Friday would be dinner with the family, and Saturday the big party in a bar with friends, Thursday night was our night for a little spot of dinner, tete-a-tete. Catch up, see the birthday in. Be romantic. Spend a night alone together before she flew out to her parents’ place in Spain for a month.
I had this one organised – I really did. Ordered the present in plenty of time, booked a restaurant, took a change of clothes into work so I could shower and look decent for her.
Sadly, events left my marginal control and in a vicious combination of miserable events, my life has taken a distinct turn for the worse. First misjudgment was going out to lunch with one of our more notorious clients. Second mistake was to stay out all afternoon getting tanked. At this point, things were bad, but easily recoverable with some charm and a bunch of flowers. But that’s not how it went. Mistake number three was getting so drunk that I completely forgot my plans for the evening. Mistake four was going to the strip club. Mistake 5 was accepting the client’s offer of several lapdances. Mistake 6 was letting the stripper answer my phone, thinking it was one of the boys and would be funny. It wasn’t. It was my girlfriend.
I knew that The Fates were against me when I crawled into work on the morning of her actual birthday and her present had failed to arrive (with great timing it arrived this morning, over a week late, and she has now gone away for a month). Mind you, it didn’t get to be a proper bloodbath until she told her parents what I had done, in a restaurant, in front of 8 other members of her family.
It’s been a brutal weekend, I’m barely being talked to (and it’s more shouting than talking, really), and I’m not entirely sure that I will be joining her abroad in 2 weeks as was the original plan. Compounded by me turning out to have accidentally (and completely without memory) brought an item of intimate clothing belonging to one of the showgirls concerned home, and my OH finding it. In the bedroom obviously – because given the staggering ill-fortune and lack of judgement demonstrated by recent events, where else would I have drunkenly dropped it but in the bed my girlfriend shares with me when she’s over at my place?
Oh, and if anyone wants a 37” LCD HD TV, let me know. Got one going spare BECAUSE THE STUPID B*STARDS FAILED TO DELIVER IT ON TIME. This mess is all their fault, clearly.
The dark gods are laughing at Harry. Who is, let’s face it, pretty much the worst boyfriend on the face of this naughty old planet of ours.
Edited by Harry Flashman on Monday 6th August 14:20
something up all by themselves quite so spectacularly.bob1179 said:
Bloody hell Harry! 
Err what more can be said?
Just take what is coming to you, grovel, A LOT. And hope for the best.
We all make mistakes mate, at least you did it in style!
Good luck, I hope you can clear this one up!
Hello chum!Err what more can be said?
Just take what is coming to you, grovel, A LOT. And hope for the best.
We all make mistakes mate, at least you did it in style!
Good luck, I hope you can clear this one up!
If it helps, not a single one of the strippers I debased myself with were uglier than that stunning girl we saw in that place on Brick Lane. So at least they were sort of worth it.
Harry Flashman said:
bob1179 said:
Bloody hell Harry!
Err what more can be said?
Just take what is coming to you, grovel, A LOT. And hope for the best.
We all make mistakes mate, at least you did it in style!
Good luck, I hope you can clear this one up!
Hello chum!Err what more can be said?
Just take what is coming to you, grovel, A LOT. And hope for the best.
We all make mistakes mate, at least you did it in style!
Good luck, I hope you can clear this one up!
If it helps, not a single one of the strippers I debased myself with were uglier than that stunning girl we saw in that place on Brick Lane. So at least they were sort of worth it.
- a silver lining to every cloud 
we're going to need some pics of these ladies so as to make our own judgement, purely for research purposes, you understand!
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