"Is there anything else I can do for you today?"
"Is there anything else I can do for you today?"
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The Londoner

Original Poster:

3,964 posts

269 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
quotequote all
When used in that order, are these possibly the 10 most irritating words in use today? Usually used by a feckwit in an offshore call centre. Where “can I put you on hold for just 2 minutes please?” bears no resemblance to any measurement of time currently in use on Earth. Where the crackly chill out music you have to listen to does nothing of the sort for you. Where said feckwit dismally fails to come up with a solution to the problem other than delegating it to another department. That I have to call because he can’t transfer me. And where I have to navigate another touchtone menu which inevitably leads me back to talking to the same department of feckwits that I started out talking to what feels like an infinity ago, but now slightly older, a little grayer and with less hair as I tear what little I have left out in a rage.

And he then says those immortal words:

“Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

To which I would like to reply

“Yes, go and get a club hammer and repeatedly hit yourself in the face with it, because then and only then will you understand what I feel like after talking to you, you cretin!”

But to which I have to reply

“No thank you”

Because if I say anything else no doubt the job will be lost, or put to the back of the queue and I will have to start the whole sorry process all over again.

Yes BT, you are, and always will be, absolutely fking ste bangheadbangheadbangheadbangheadbanghead

Rob_R

2,463 posts

276 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
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7.5 out of 10. Satisfactory.

Saskia7

176 posts

219 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
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BT. I've had exactly the same thing. No training whatsoever in customer service.

grumbledoak

32,571 posts

264 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
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yes Stupid question. I normally ask "Do you deliver pizza?".

Vesuvius 996

35,829 posts

302 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
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"If you have any other questions, please speak to myself......."




ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!


Sciroccology

29,908 posts

261 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
quotequote all
The Londoner said:
Yes BT, you are, and always will be, absolutely fking ste bangheadbangheadbangheadbangheadbanghead
Hear hear.

I have suffered a frankly sheeite internet speed for months now, despite a couple of visits from engineers. I know I have to ring BT back, but I simply can't bring myself to do it, as I know I'll get some muppet in downtown Bombay who'll tell me to reset my Home Hub. Again. For the millionth time.

dmitsi

3,583 posts

251 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
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I generally answer, 'Paint my fence'.

TheCarpetCleaner

7,294 posts

233 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
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Surely its better than my paint repair person that I phoned who "Couldnt be bovvered init" - at least they are trying!

andyquantum

13,204 posts

235 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
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Had that today from a credit card company I was on the phone to. Normally I dont mind it and decline with thanks. Except today I was closing my account as they wanted a stupid APR to carry on with them

Well done Jerry Toher!

mercemployee

330 posts

237 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
quotequote all
I think it's possibly the least annoying of all call centre scripts, as it means the call is nearly over.

I have to say it around 50-60 times a dat.

Office_Monkey

1,969 posts

240 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
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To be fair to them though, they have to ask it or it can affect their pay. st, but true.

minimax

11,985 posts

287 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
quotequote all
Vesuvius 996 said:
"If you have any other questions, please speak to myself......."




ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!
oh yes.. rage

Edited by minimax on Wednesday 13th August 17:44

mercemployee

330 posts

237 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
quotequote all
My least favourite phrase that I have to use is asking "How are you today?"

And the only response written on the script is: "Fantastic!"

I am still waiting for someone to tell me their husband died that morning hehe

Sciroccology

29,908 posts

261 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
quotequote all
mercemployee said:
My least favourite phrase that I have to use is asking "How are you today?"

And the only response written on the script is: "Fantastic!"

I am still waiting for someone to tell me their husband died that morning hehe
The last time I spoke to BT I was asked "And how is the weather there with you today?"

"It's pissing it down, actually. How is the weather there in Bombay? No, don't tell me, let me guess."

Crash Test Dummy

1,788 posts

235 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
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if this can be turned into a 'funny replies to call centre questions' thread then I would really much appreciate that.

Killer2005

20,639 posts

259 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
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We get that if we ring our IT helpdesk. Its not much use when they couldn't do anything in the first place mad

Andy Zarse

10,870 posts

278 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
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It's like being asked by a waitress if you want any sauces "at all"> WTF does the "at all" mean???

Last week I got asked the "Is there anything else I can do for you today?" question by a nice man from O2.

"Oh yes" I replied, "Do you sell carrots?"

littlegreenfairy

10,134 posts

252 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
quotequote all
Sciroccology said:
The Londoner said:
Yes BT, you are, and always will be, absolutely fking ste bangheadbangheadbangheadbangheadbanghead
Hear hear.

I have suffered a frankly sheeite internet speed for months now, despite a couple of visits from engineers. I know I have to ring BT back, but I simply can't bring myself to do it, as I know I'll get some muppet in downtown Bombay who'll tell me to reset my Home Hub. Again. For the millionth time.
Ah yes BT.

I had a ¨chat¨ with them yesterday. They decided to charge me for caller display (ok so its £1.48 a month +VAT) which annoys me as I only use the line so I can have internet. I was annoyed at the world and didn't mind shouting. First the bloke said I wasn't being charged, but I am because it was on my bank statement and my bill - he called me stupid. HOW BLOODY DARE HE?

Do these idiots actually speak English?? He got all irritated at me because I didn't understand him, promised that he would get an email sent out to me and then said ¨have a lovely day¨ wait a minute buster - you don't have my email address.

Soooo...the pain of giving an email address.

me: littlegreenfairy
him:yes that is your name, what is your email
me:littlegreenfairy@
him: yes that is your name, what is your email
me:LITTLEGREENFAIRY
him:what is your email?
me: THAT IS MY EMAIL ADDRESS
him:that is your name, what is your email.

And so it carried on.

Oddly, my log on still doesn't work which doesn't fking surprise me.

AND he had the audacity to say he didn't understand me because of my thick accent that wasn't English. Scuse me love, but you're hardly speaking the Queen's are you...

Besides, I didn't think I had an accent.

So not much of a rant but its been playing on my mind all day.

Sciroccology

29,908 posts

261 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
quotequote all
littlegreenfairy said:
AND he had the audacity to say he didn't understand me because of my thick accent that wasn't English. Scuse me love, but you're hardly speaking the Queen's are you...
Quite right. What is the fecking point of having a "Customer Service" service where you can't understand them and they can't understand you?

Overseas call-centres are, in my humble opinion, a load of crap.

littlegreenfairy

10,134 posts

252 months

Wednesday 13th August 2008
quotequote all
Sciroccology said:
littlegreenfairy said:
AND he had the audacity to say he didn't understand me because of my thick accent that wasn't English. Scuse me love, but you're hardly speaking the Queen's are you...
Quite right. What is the fecking point of having a "Customer Service" service where you can't understand them and they can't understand you?

Overseas call-centres are, in my humble opinion, a load of crap.
Especially when someone who has in all probability has never put a foot in this country, tells you that you can't speak the lingo. furious