Never lend money to friends :(
Discussion
Hi folks
Got a bit of an issue, and would appreciate some advise.
Back in March I lent my "best friend" of a good few years £900 when he was in a big mess. He really was in a big mess. If I hadnt have bailed him out he would have gone deeper. SO I agreed, but struggled to get the cash together as I was fairly broke myself but wanted to help.
We both signed a reciept for the full amount saying he would pay back by end of May. So we continued as per normal. However month after month he failed to pay as he had no money. I accepted this for a while but then challenged him as he was going on holiday.
After an argument he agreed to pay me £100 per month and gave me £150 cash as well so thought all was good.
From this point he has barely spoken to me sayin he is too embarrassed to do so because of what he has done. The first £100 payment was due in my account two weeks ago but failed to go in. I text him asking what had happened but he did not reply.
Now I know in hindsight I should not have lent money to a friend and that if you lend move you should accept you may never get it back. But I did this purely to help someone. If I had said no he would have been stuffed, so please dont just tell me the above!
Not sure what to do now. I have been over patient. He can easily afford £100 per month and I now dont believe he ever set up the standing order despite him saying he had. I have, unfortunately, washed my hands with him, he cannot be bothered to make the effort to stay in touch and keep me updated so f
k him I say. True friends dont do this. Im sure most of you would never treat people like it.
So not sure what to do now. I have a a reciept from him so could I take him to the small claims court? How should I approach it. I have done the nicey nicey approach which hasnt worked, dont the getting annoyed which doesnt either! He just ignores it and is hoping I stop pestering him, to which I will not, this is principle aswell as wanting the cash.
Also when he borrowed it we both agreed to tell no one, I didnt want people to know I was lending friends money, he didnt want people to know he is in a mess. Still no one knows except his dad, so thinking maybe a chat with him.
What does everyone think?
Cheers
B
Got a bit of an issue, and would appreciate some advise.
Back in March I lent my "best friend" of a good few years £900 when he was in a big mess. He really was in a big mess. If I hadnt have bailed him out he would have gone deeper. SO I agreed, but struggled to get the cash together as I was fairly broke myself but wanted to help.
We both signed a reciept for the full amount saying he would pay back by end of May. So we continued as per normal. However month after month he failed to pay as he had no money. I accepted this for a while but then challenged him as he was going on holiday.
After an argument he agreed to pay me £100 per month and gave me £150 cash as well so thought all was good.
From this point he has barely spoken to me sayin he is too embarrassed to do so because of what he has done. The first £100 payment was due in my account two weeks ago but failed to go in. I text him asking what had happened but he did not reply.
Now I know in hindsight I should not have lent money to a friend and that if you lend move you should accept you may never get it back. But I did this purely to help someone. If I had said no he would have been stuffed, so please dont just tell me the above!
Not sure what to do now. I have been over patient. He can easily afford £100 per month and I now dont believe he ever set up the standing order despite him saying he had. I have, unfortunately, washed my hands with him, he cannot be bothered to make the effort to stay in touch and keep me updated so f
k him I say. True friends dont do this. Im sure most of you would never treat people like it.So not sure what to do now. I have a a reciept from him so could I take him to the small claims court? How should I approach it. I have done the nicey nicey approach which hasnt worked, dont the getting annoyed which doesnt either! He just ignores it and is hoping I stop pestering him, to which I will not, this is principle aswell as wanting the cash.
Also when he borrowed it we both agreed to tell no one, I didnt want people to know I was lending friends money, he didnt want people to know he is in a mess. Still no one knows except his dad, so thinking maybe a chat with him.
What does everyone think?
Cheers
B
Shay HTFC said:
Do you know where he lives?
Do you know how to effectively use a baseball bat?
Sometimes violence IS the only answer
yeah course I know where he lives.Do you know how to effectively use a baseball bat?
Sometimes violence IS the only answer
I know you meant that as a joke but seriously that would be a bad bad plan, I want to leave this with the morale high ground, no criminal record and my money!
This person is NOT your friend. He's taken advantage of your goodwill and abused it. Tell him (or write if that is easier) that you want the money by X date and if he does pay up you will take him to the small claims court (along with all the credit ramifications that has) and that you don't want to take that action but will not let him make a fool of you.
If he doesn't pay up then take the action above. But don’t kid yourself he’s a friend – he’s a user.
If he doesn't pay up then take the action above. But don’t kid yourself he’s a friend – he’s a user.
Depends on how much the friendship is worth really. If it's worth £800 then let it slide. If you want the money back, which is how it sounds, then you're right that the small claims court is the obvious route. Well done for getting a receipt when he initially took the money or this would be more difficult.
People get very funny over money, and it's quite often the ones you wouldn't expect problems from that do the strangest things in my experience.
People get very funny over money, and it's quite often the ones you wouldn't expect problems from that do the strangest things in my experience.
If you still have the receipt, then you could try the small claims court
http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/infoabout/claim...
http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/infoabout/claim...
Its a common rule in life that once you have leant money to friends then you write it off- and if you get it back then that's a bonus.
either your mate is taking the piss,
OR
He is struggling to get the money together and feel slreally embarrassed about it all and lacks the maturity to sort it out. You shouldn't have let it go this long without pro-active and constant monitoring from you!
either your mate is taking the piss,
OR
He is struggling to get the money together and feel slreally embarrassed about it all and lacks the maturity to sort it out. You shouldn't have let it go this long without pro-active and constant monitoring from you!
ye I hate lending money to friends... its sucks... you can keep asking him, and tell him it isnt on as your fked now!!!
I lent £350 to a mate to buy a car, he crashed his car badly and lost his memory... well to the tune of a few weeks before I lent it to him!!! I felt too bad as he was in a bad way to tell him that I lent it as of course I couldnt remind him!!!
ked now!!!I lent £350 to a mate to buy a car, he crashed his car badly and lost his memory... well to the tune of a few weeks before I lent it to him!!! I felt too bad as he was in a bad way to tell him that I lent it as of course I couldnt remind him!!!
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