Cracking similes

[The Ben]

some of my mates have got some good en's, we were talking at work about them, (it was quiet)

here goes

As nervous as a cat in a rocking chair factory

P1ssing like a racehorse

face like a buldog chewing a wasp/ Bulldog licking piss of a thistle!!!

[rockinatmidnight]

sweating like micheal jackson/gary glitter in a nursery

[Martin T]

Sweating like a jew in a Nazi speach

[Gun]

From Peter Kay, "shaking like a stting dog".

[mikeyr]

nodding like a Romanian orphan

[Gr3g]

Sweating like Hitler with a gas bill...

I think I got that from PH, actually.

[mybrainhurts]

Sweating like Gordon Brown...



Permanantly on...

Which is nice...

[smiller]

sweating like a rapist in the dock

[thehawk]

Sweating like a blind lesbian in a fishmongers.

[Bee_Jay]

Sweating like a chav in a spelling test.

Tits like Womble's noses.

[AndrewM]

Face like a welder's bench

[AndrewM]

Fanny like a Wizard's cuff

[BB-Q]

Face like a bulldog licking piss off a thistle

sweating like a nr on a rape charge

As much use as a chocolate fireguard.

[tomTVR]

Rough as a badgers arse

[anonymous-user]

Face like a plasterer's radio.

[Monkey boy 1]

Sweating like a Peedo in a playground.

or

As much luck as a Jew in Auschwitz.

or

As much use a Tits on a fish

Edited by Monkey boy 1 on Wednesday 27th August 23:50

[AndrewM]

If only I could find my Profanisaurus..

Like the starting grid at Brands Hatch

To describe underpants with a Ginger Wheelspin

[tomTVR]

Tits like two fried eggs nailed to a wall

[bigfoot7]

An arse like a bag of spanners.

Smells like the devils aftershave.

As much use as a one legged man in a backside kicking contest.

T1ts as saggy as a roof tilers nailbag.

Edited by bigfoot7 on Wednesday 27th August 23:51

[anonymous-user]

AndrewM said:

Fanny like a Wizard's cuff

...ripped wellie-boot.