Discussion
I'll set the scene first:
dumped by my girlfriend back in April- no real reason to be honest both going in different directions, etc. i'm not bitter and i'm still friendly with her.
so i've had nothing for 5 months until a few weeks ago when i met someone. I think she is amazing, and a refreshing change to my ex. I've never felt so comfortable and content in such a short period of time with someone! (excuse me while i am sick
)
She has a young son (8 today) and to be honest it isn't a problem for me but i'm very nervous about meeting him as i've never been in the situation before. She has not introduced any previous guys to him as she didn't want to confuse him, which i totally understand, but we both agree that this just feels different. It's difficult to explain but i'm sure the pistonhead collective will know what i'm trying to say here....
I don't want to be DAD 2 and she has said as much, but at the same time i don't want to be just another guy, if it's going to work then he must be involved or what's the point.
All my friends tell me to not think about it, that kids are fun and that i'll have a legitamte excuse to play video games, watch and play football and play with toys!
which is very true but i'm after some other peoples views who have been in a similar situation.
I guess my question is how do you become friends with an 8 year old!
dumped by my girlfriend back in April- no real reason to be honest both going in different directions, etc. i'm not bitter and i'm still friendly with her.
so i've had nothing for 5 months until a few weeks ago when i met someone. I think she is amazing, and a refreshing change to my ex. I've never felt so comfortable and content in such a short period of time with someone! (excuse me while i am sick
)She has a young son (8 today) and to be honest it isn't a problem for me but i'm very nervous about meeting him as i've never been in the situation before. She has not introduced any previous guys to him as she didn't want to confuse him, which i totally understand, but we both agree that this just feels different. It's difficult to explain but i'm sure the pistonhead collective will know what i'm trying to say here....
I don't want to be DAD 2 and she has said as much, but at the same time i don't want to be just another guy, if it's going to work then he must be involved or what's the point.
All my friends tell me to not think about it, that kids are fun and that i'll have a legitamte excuse to play video games, watch and play football and play with toys!
which is very true but i'm after some other peoples views who have been in a similar situation. I guess my question is how do you become friends with an 8 year old!
chunkymonkey71 said:
you wont have t make an effort to be friends with an 8 year old. younger kids are very easy to get along with, and he wont think of you as a subsitute dad. Its when they get to early teens that this becomes an issue.
Just be yourself. Kids are fun!
Exactly! They also see you as a fun playmate too so it's a mutual thing!Just be yourself. Kids are fun!
Difficult one, I would of thought all you can be is yourself.
Dont pressure the little lad trying to be his best friend straight away, ofcourse introduce yourself but let him come to you intime or speak to him when he looks abit lonely.
Also dont hang around his mum too much infront of him.
Dont pressure the little lad trying to be his best friend straight away, ofcourse introduce yourself but let him come to you intime or speak to him when he looks abit lonely.
Also dont hang around his mum too much infront of him.
Thanks for the advice.
I'm actually quite looking forward to it but i just dont want to mess it up.
She has asked me to meet him on satuday as he is going to Toys R Us and will be bouncing around looking at toys and stuff so it wouldn't be as uncomfortable as going round to the house and just sitting there.
I've already ear marked the Xbox 360, i just hope he doesn't beat me on Forza or Pro Evo!
I'm actually quite looking forward to it but i just dont want to mess it up.
She has asked me to meet him on satuday as he is going to Toys R Us and will be bouncing around looking at toys and stuff so it wouldn't be as uncomfortable as going round to the house and just sitting there.
I've already ear marked the Xbox 360, i just hope he doesn't beat me on Forza or Pro Evo!
Edited by JBanx on Friday 29th August 12:00
JBanx said:
Thanks for the advice.
I'm actually quite looking forward to it but i just dont want to mess it up.
She has asked me to meet him on satuday as he is going to Toys R Us and will be bouncing around looking at toys and stuff so it wouldn't be as uncomfortable as going round to the house and just sitting there.
I've already ear marked the Xbox 360, i just hope he doesn't beat me on Forza or Pro Evo!
I would advise not being over generous with gifts in the toy shop, even at eight you know when you are being bought, and while he'll like the gift I'm sure, it won't necessarily be liking you. Just a word of advice from someone who was once 8 and in a similar situation. I'm actually quite looking forward to it but i just dont want to mess it up.
She has asked me to meet him on satuday as he is going to Toys R Us and will be bouncing around looking at toys and stuff so it wouldn't be as uncomfortable as going round to the house and just sitting there.
I've already ear marked the Xbox 360, i just hope he doesn't beat me on Forza or Pro Evo!
Edited by JBanx on Friday 29th August 12:00
SirTainly said:
JBanx said:
Thanks for the advice.
I'm actually quite looking forward to it but i just dont want to mess it up.
She has asked me to meet him on satuday as he is going to Toys R Us and will be bouncing around looking at toys and stuff so it wouldn't be as uncomfortable as going round to the house and just sitting there.
I've already ear marked the Xbox 360, i just hope he doesn't beat me on Forza or Pro Evo!
I would advise not being over generous with gifts in the toy shop, even at eight you know when you are being bought, and while he'll like the gift I'm sure, it won't necessarily be liking you. Just a word of advice from someone who was once 8 and in a similar situation. I'm actually quite looking forward to it but i just dont want to mess it up.
She has asked me to meet him on satuday as he is going to Toys R Us and will be bouncing around looking at toys and stuff so it wouldn't be as uncomfortable as going round to the house and just sitting there.
I've already ear marked the Xbox 360, i just hope he doesn't beat me on Forza or Pro Evo!
Edited by JBanx on Friday 29th August 12:00
killsta said:
You took him for all you could get, didn't you?
nope! 
All the gifts and promises of her money (1 million inheritance "one day" have a much higher cost and I wasn't willing then, nor am I now willing to pay)..ask me again if I fall on hard times though!
Edited by SirTainly on Friday 29th August 12:11
I can understand your g/f being nervous about how her son will react to a new man in her life. I am in a similar situation and have only once in several years of being a single mum have introduced my daughter (she's 10) to a b/f. It didn't work out for various reasons but my girl accepted him as "mummy's friend", we were not all over each other when she was present and so she had no problem with him in that role.
As you say she and you are very comfortable with each other. I assume you have discussed with her what his likes and dislikes are, what he enjoys doing, and if that is the case then I don't think the situation will be difficult.
Anyway, good luck.
As you say she and you are very comfortable with each other. I assume you have discussed with her what his likes and dislikes are, what he enjoys doing, and if that is the case then I don't think the situation will be difficult.
Anyway, good luck.
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