Microsoft V General motors
Microsoft V General motors
Author
Discussion

The Ben

Original Poster:

1,623 posts

248 months

Saturday 30th August 2008
quotequote all
It maybe a re e post, but sod it, its hilarious and very true! kind of


Microsoft vs. General Motors

At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.

Chainguy

4,381 posts

231 months

Saturday 30th August 2008
quotequote all
That is, genuinely, as old as the internet itself. I think I first read it about '98.

ATTAK Z

19,457 posts

220 months

Saturday 30th August 2008
quotequote all
97

agent006

12,058 posts

295 months

Saturday 30th August 2008
quotequote all
I've got 1997 on the line for you, they say they want their joke back, can i put them straight through?

Justayellowbadge

37,057 posts

273 months

Saturday 30th August 2008
quotequote all
Kinell, thanks for reminding me how much I loved the '80s.

sstein

6,249 posts

285 months

Saturday 30th August 2008
quotequote all
95

pedantlewis

288 posts

228 months

Saturday 30th August 2008
quotequote all
The old ones are the best I guess.

DrTre

12,957 posts

263 months

Saturday 30th August 2008
quotequote all
Wasn't this the addendum to the 10 Commandments? Bit of light relief after all those "Do Nots"...


TheEnd

15,370 posts

219 months

Saturday 30th August 2008
quotequote all
the was another bunch about when apparently (i love that get out clause..) microsoft have taken over all the ECU's for F1 cars so everyone runs a standard box

ie, pitstops involved installing updates, BSOD on the steering wheel and Driver error messages

Frederick

5,898 posts

251 months

Saturday 30th August 2008
quotequote all
The Ben said:
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Yes, it's as old as the hills but most cars now have a start/stop button... so technically you're pressing the "Start" button to stop the engine!

Ordinary Bloke

4,559 posts

229 months

Saturday 30th August 2008
quotequote all
Frederick said:
The Ben said:
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Yes, it's as old as the hills but most cars now have a start/stop button... so technically you're pressing the "Start" button to stop the engine!
How old are you, Sonny? Not been in a lot of cars, have you rofl

siscar

6,887 posts

248 months

Sunday 31st August 2008
quotequote all
Ordinary Bloke said:
Frederick said:
The Ben said:
10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.
Yes, it's as old as the hills but most cars now have a start/stop button... so technically you're pressing the "Start" button to stop the engine!
How old are you, Sonny? Not been in a lot of cars, have you rofl
Hey? 'Most' is an exaggeration but an awful lot of new cars do have a start button.

1066

238 posts

229 months

Sunday 31st August 2008
quotequote all
When was the last time anyone encountered a General Protection Fault? Not seen one of those in years..

fido

18,921 posts

286 months

Sunday 31st August 2008
quotequote all
11. GM would make a profit on every car it sold.