Manners, politeness and the British way?
Discussion
Reading a few recent threads on PH, and I can't help what happened to the once renowned British politeness and manners.
On the "people who stand too close" thread, various posters mention treading on toes and other minor acts of violence towards others. What is wrong with a simple "excuse me"? No need to stamp on people, or shout/swear at them when they probably aren't aware of what they are doing.
The "asking someone to put out a cigarette in a pub thread" - again, a simple request to obey the law, and to stop doing a smelly, anti-social act, nearly erupts into threats of violence and confrontation.
So my question is, what happened to politeness and manners - maybe it's just me, but if I'm doing something that unintentionally is annoying someone else, I'll simply apologise, and stop what I am doing (assuming that their request is valid).
Likewise, I'd do the same to someone else - "excuse me, but I'd rather you didn't stand so close to me" for example.
So where did everyone's manners go? When did the words "Excuse me", "Thank you" and "You're welcome" dissappear from common useage?
On the "people who stand too close" thread, various posters mention treading on toes and other minor acts of violence towards others. What is wrong with a simple "excuse me"? No need to stamp on people, or shout/swear at them when they probably aren't aware of what they are doing.
The "asking someone to put out a cigarette in a pub thread" - again, a simple request to obey the law, and to stop doing a smelly, anti-social act, nearly erupts into threats of violence and confrontation.
So my question is, what happened to politeness and manners - maybe it's just me, but if I'm doing something that unintentionally is annoying someone else, I'll simply apologise, and stop what I am doing (assuming that their request is valid).
Likewise, I'd do the same to someone else - "excuse me, but I'd rather you didn't stand so close to me" for example.
So where did everyone's manners go? When did the words "Excuse me", "Thank you" and "You're welcome" dissappear from common useage?
It seems a very old fashioned concept now but I was bought up with the clear message that saying please, excuse me and thank you in the right places and with some respect was the only way I'd get what I wanted.
Now you see children who have learnt by example that the quickest way of obtaining what they want is to either just take it, use verbal or physical aggression to get it, or have a tantrum which is usually rewarded with some sweets.
Tie that pattern of behaviour by example up with the self centered f
k you American attitude to others, the Nu Labia notion that it's not PC to correct other's manners or behaviour when it causes you some distress or inconvenience and the idiotic examples of bad manners and lack of courtesy that's witnessed for several hours a day on TV Soaps and reality shows then it's hardly surprising that children and thier parents have lost the plot.
I know I'm sounding like a proper Grumpy Old Git - I suppose by current standards I am. Good manners are the social lubricant that keeps the machinery of society running smoothly. Take away the manners and small courtesies and the whole thing will grind away just that bit slower which is a loss to us all.
Now you see children who have learnt by example that the quickest way of obtaining what they want is to either just take it, use verbal or physical aggression to get it, or have a tantrum which is usually rewarded with some sweets.
Tie that pattern of behaviour by example up with the self centered f
k you American attitude to others, the Nu Labia notion that it's not PC to correct other's manners or behaviour when it causes you some distress or inconvenience and the idiotic examples of bad manners and lack of courtesy that's witnessed for several hours a day on TV Soaps and reality shows then it's hardly surprising that children and thier parents have lost the plot. I know I'm sounding like a proper Grumpy Old Git - I suppose by current standards I am. Good manners are the social lubricant that keeps the machinery of society running smoothly. Take away the manners and small courtesies and the whole thing will grind away just that bit slower which is a loss to us all.
Its simple psycology really.
Once upon a time requests made politely would have been met with a suitably polite response.
However since 'uman' rights took over common sense every selfish scroat thinks the world revolves round themselves with no need to consider the impact of actions on others.
Now when we make a request to someone we are apprehensive because we don't expect a compliant response to our simple request and instead fear we my be attacked or beaten for daring to ask someone to be more considerate. You only have to remember the many cases of violence on public transport just because someone made a simple request.
Hence when someone gets to the point where they need to make a request they have waited a long time stewing over the expected response and therefore use attack as a form of defence when finally plucking up the courage to make the request.
Once upon a time requests made politely would have been met with a suitably polite response.
However since 'uman' rights took over common sense every selfish scroat thinks the world revolves round themselves with no need to consider the impact of actions on others.
Now when we make a request to someone we are apprehensive because we don't expect a compliant response to our simple request and instead fear we my be attacked or beaten for daring to ask someone to be more considerate. You only have to remember the many cases of violence on public transport just because someone made a simple request.
Hence when someone gets to the point where they need to make a request they have waited a long time stewing over the expected response and therefore use attack as a form of defence when finally plucking up the courage to make the request.
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