I Want To Propose to my girlfriend but... Is It True?
Discussion
STRIPPED DOWN VERSION SO NO ONE HAS TO READ ALL OF THE BELOW (unless they want to)
Stripped down version is as follows:
Is it true that women change once you marry them. In the sense that they become lazy, disinterested, doesnt want to have too much sex anymore, irresponsible with money etc?
Is it true that they change after marriage? and if yes, how?
Hi everyone! Its your favorite lunatic! LOL
I have been seriously considering proposing to my girlfriend this weekend. This weekend will not only mark her birthday, but our 7 years together and my birthday as well.
However, and I think it is a big however, I have a bit of a problem. Besides letting go of buying an Esprit over a diamond ring, the problem is my friends and my brother.
Recently one of my best friends got married, a few weeks ago to be exact (the day I cracked up both the Mini and the X5 4.4 (dont remind me) ) and last week I was over his house spending time with him and his new wife. I like his wife, I really do, shes a cool girl, although she is lazy and demanding and generally bosses my friend around, hes a drunk so he deserves whatever he can get to be quite honest. Anyway, they known eachother for 2 years and then moved in and a few months later he proposed to her, and one month later they got married.
Okay so, I was over his house and he was quite a bit more drunk than he usually is, well he started to say how much he loved me, and that I should get rid of my girlfriend because he feels I can do much better. Then when I started to say to him that I dont want to go down that avenue (he does this often when he gets really drunk, tries to act the big boy because he has a union job and feels settled I suppose) he kept going on. He began to tell me how shes a nice girl but shes all wrong for me (no specific reasons) and how he never really liked her all that much... Then he said something absolutely nasty which I dont feel right exposing even here, but it was a hard insult, on par with saying she was ugly, and so I got up and left. I guess that sent him into a fury because I received text messages a few minutes later to "f
k off, im a guinea fk, an asshole, dont come back etc etc"
The next day he called me to apologize, he said he didnt know what he was saying and he only realized the extent of it as he read the messages he sent the next morning. I told him he cant get wasted and use that as an excuse to say whatever he wants. All in all, we have been best friends for years and so we made amends, although with the insult he said about my girl which I dont feel comfortable writing here, I will always feel a bit tarnished over it and may in the future hold certain things back from him. for the record, what he said really bothered me to the point where I wanted to tell him, "You fool, you married a lazy girl who comes home, sits on the bed and eats junk food until she passes out, shes gonna be 300 lbs in a few years." I could have told him she was no good for him, but you know what, even being his best friend I felt it isnt my place. No matter what I said it was not as if he was going to take it into careful consideration and not marry the girl, so why create tension and waves amongst friends right? If there was some hardcore reason to, like she cheated on him or she was actually a sex changed man, then I could see saying something...
To my brother now. He is quite the playboy, we live together and he brings a girl home every weekend, bangs them and then never hears from them again. He loves the single lifestyle and flaunts his hear earned money everywhere. 3 BMW's, 3 watches totalling over $6,000 each, all the latest Armani clothes and the such etc etc. He works hard and plays even harder. Fine for him. However, this is not my lifestyle and I tend to lead towards the more old fashioned side, i.e. find someone you love and live the best life you can TOGETHER. He is completely against marriage, 100% and has said several times that he would disown me as a brother if I got married. He loves my girlfriend and we have a great time together when we all hang out, but in his words, "move in together, die together, live like you are married, but I see no reason to actually sign the marriage contract and BE married." hes a realist and the job he is in he has met A TON of men (and so have I) who get married and then are miserable. He thinks marriage is a recipe for distaster, and in some ways he may be right, atleast so far from what I have heard and seen. He simply feels that marriage is for the weak of heart, but I try to tell him that because of his lifestyle he has created a singular personality, and just because he doesnt need or want closeness doesnt mean it cant work for me or anyone else.
Already I can see tensions mounting on the basis of me marrying my girlfriend. Personally I want to say fk off to them all, but I am the type of person that takes into consideration what others say and keenly listen to sound advice. I love this girl, been with her for 7 years, how can I not marry her. We get along great, and when I am with her I do not want to be anywhere else. Sure we have our problems, but so does everyone else, nothing is perfect right.
The thing that scares me is that my buddy who just got married a few weeks ago has told me the same thing when I asked him if 'it' was true that many many many men have told me before, which is that something changes in the women when you marry them. Its as if they got you and now they recede any effort from that point on.
Meaning, here are a quick few examples:
- Buddy just got married and I was hanging with him the other night, I asked him if it was true. As soon as his wife was out of the room he quickly glanced at me and whispered, 'DO NOT get married, its true, shes crazy. she doesnt want to do anything, i havent gotten laid since a few days after the wedding, she is lazier than ever and shes a demanding bh. DO NOT get married.
- My other best friend who got married in california last year (maybe the year before) says the same thing. They are now having problems because she has no motivation, refuses to get a job, hasnt had sex with him in 3 months he said (now hes thinking of cheating because even after talking to her about it he says she seems very disinterested in sex) and he says its like living with someone you dont want to be around. and she blows any money he gives her immediately.
- My other best friend who has been married with 1 kid for over 7 years says the same thing. the month or so after they got married something changed, as if she wasnt the same person. no more magic, no more good sex, just very robotic. he says that she is lazy, refuses to get a job and generally the marriage is crap. just recently they separated.
So whats the deal? seriously, is marriage a recipe for disaster? I mean I love this girl, we been together for 7 years. I want to start a real life together, but I am scared it will change. I am scared the magic will be gone. I dont think it will happen, but neither did my friends. The examples I gave were just a few, but I honestly tell you that I have heard the same thing from countless men, COUNTLESS men!
Is it true? Should I propose or run for the hills?
If I go for it, it is going to be funny when I tell the friends who arent fond of her. Take in mind they never gave a reasonable answer, they just said I can do better. I dont if that means looks or what, but I mean screw them right?
Stripped down version is as follows:
Is it true that women change once you marry them. In the sense that they become lazy, disinterested, doesnt want to have too much sex anymore, irresponsible with money etc?
Is it true that they change after marriage? and if yes, how?
Hi everyone! Its your favorite lunatic! LOL
I have been seriously considering proposing to my girlfriend this weekend. This weekend will not only mark her birthday, but our 7 years together and my birthday as well.
However, and I think it is a big however, I have a bit of a problem. Besides letting go of buying an Esprit over a diamond ring, the problem is my friends and my brother.
Recently one of my best friends got married, a few weeks ago to be exact (the day I cracked up both the Mini and the X5 4.4 (dont remind me) ) and last week I was over his house spending time with him and his new wife. I like his wife, I really do, shes a cool girl, although she is lazy and demanding and generally bosses my friend around, hes a drunk so he deserves whatever he can get to be quite honest. Anyway, they known eachother for 2 years and then moved in and a few months later he proposed to her, and one month later they got married.
Okay so, I was over his house and he was quite a bit more drunk than he usually is, well he started to say how much he loved me, and that I should get rid of my girlfriend because he feels I can do much better. Then when I started to say to him that I dont want to go down that avenue (he does this often when he gets really drunk, tries to act the big boy because he has a union job and feels settled I suppose) he kept going on. He began to tell me how shes a nice girl but shes all wrong for me (no specific reasons) and how he never really liked her all that much... Then he said something absolutely nasty which I dont feel right exposing even here, but it was a hard insult, on par with saying she was ugly, and so I got up and left. I guess that sent him into a fury because I received text messages a few minutes later to "f
k off, im a guinea fk, an asshole, dont come back etc etc"The next day he called me to apologize, he said he didnt know what he was saying and he only realized the extent of it as he read the messages he sent the next morning. I told him he cant get wasted and use that as an excuse to say whatever he wants. All in all, we have been best friends for years and so we made amends, although with the insult he said about my girl which I dont feel comfortable writing here, I will always feel a bit tarnished over it and may in the future hold certain things back from him. for the record, what he said really bothered me to the point where I wanted to tell him, "You fool, you married a lazy girl who comes home, sits on the bed and eats junk food until she passes out, shes gonna be 300 lbs in a few years." I could have told him she was no good for him, but you know what, even being his best friend I felt it isnt my place. No matter what I said it was not as if he was going to take it into careful consideration and not marry the girl, so why create tension and waves amongst friends right? If there was some hardcore reason to, like she cheated on him or she was actually a sex changed man, then I could see saying something...
To my brother now. He is quite the playboy, we live together and he brings a girl home every weekend, bangs them and then never hears from them again. He loves the single lifestyle and flaunts his hear earned money everywhere. 3 BMW's, 3 watches totalling over $6,000 each, all the latest Armani clothes and the such etc etc. He works hard and plays even harder. Fine for him. However, this is not my lifestyle and I tend to lead towards the more old fashioned side, i.e. find someone you love and live the best life you can TOGETHER. He is completely against marriage, 100% and has said several times that he would disown me as a brother if I got married. He loves my girlfriend and we have a great time together when we all hang out, but in his words, "move in together, die together, live like you are married, but I see no reason to actually sign the marriage contract and BE married." hes a realist and the job he is in he has met A TON of men (and so have I) who get married and then are miserable. He thinks marriage is a recipe for distaster, and in some ways he may be right, atleast so far from what I have heard and seen. He simply feels that marriage is for the weak of heart, but I try to tell him that because of his lifestyle he has created a singular personality, and just because he doesnt need or want closeness doesnt mean it cant work for me or anyone else.
Already I can see tensions mounting on the basis of me marrying my girlfriend. Personally I want to say f
k off to them all, but I am the type of person that takes into consideration what others say and keenly listen to sound advice. I love this girl, been with her for 7 years, how can I not marry her. We get along great, and when I am with her I do not want to be anywhere else. Sure we have our problems, but so does everyone else, nothing is perfect right.The thing that scares me is that my buddy who just got married a few weeks ago has told me the same thing when I asked him if 'it' was true that many many many men have told me before, which is that something changes in the women when you marry them. Its as if they got you and now they recede any effort from that point on.
Meaning, here are a quick few examples:
- Buddy just got married and I was hanging with him the other night, I asked him if it was true. As soon as his wife was out of the room he quickly glanced at me and whispered, 'DO NOT get married, its true, shes crazy. she doesnt want to do anything, i havent gotten laid since a few days after the wedding, she is lazier than ever and shes a demanding b
h. DO NOT get married.- My other best friend who got married in california last year (maybe the year before) says the same thing. They are now having problems because she has no motivation, refuses to get a job, hasnt had sex with him in 3 months he said (now hes thinking of cheating because even after talking to her about it he says she seems very disinterested in sex) and he says its like living with someone you dont want to be around. and she blows any money he gives her immediately.
- My other best friend who has been married with 1 kid for over 7 years says the same thing. the month or so after they got married something changed, as if she wasnt the same person. no more magic, no more good sex, just very robotic. he says that she is lazy, refuses to get a job and generally the marriage is crap. just recently they separated.
So whats the deal? seriously, is marriage a recipe for disaster? I mean I love this girl, we been together for 7 years. I want to start a real life together, but I am scared it will change. I am scared the magic will be gone. I dont think it will happen, but neither did my friends. The examples I gave were just a few, but I honestly tell you that I have heard the same thing from countless men, COUNTLESS men!
Is it true? Should I propose or run for the hills?
If I go for it, it is going to be funny when I tell the friends who arent fond of her. Take in mind they never gave a reasonable answer, they just said I can do better. I dont if that means looks or what, but I mean screw them right?
Edited by LotusACBC on Tuesday 16th September 18:34
Edited by LotusACBC on Tuesday 16th September 18:35
Edited by LotusACBC on Tuesday 16th September 18:38
V8 Mate - very funny 
Stripped down version is as follows:
Is it true that women change once you marry them. In the sense that they become lazy, disinterested, bhy, doesnt want to have too much sex anymore, irresponsible with money etc?
Is it true that they change after marriage? and if yes, how?
Stripped down version is as follows:
Is it true that women change once you marry them. In the sense that they become lazy, disinterested, b
hy, doesnt want to have too much sex anymore, irresponsible with money etc?Is it true that they change after marriage? and if yes, how?
LotusACBC said:
V8 Mate - very funny
Stripped down version is as follows:
Is it true that women change once you marry them. In the sense that they become lazy, disinterested, bhy, doesnt want to have too much sex anymore, irresponsible with money etc?
Is it true that they change after marriage? and if yes, how?
Why did you not just write that in the first place.Stripped down version is as follows:
Is it true that women change once you marry them. In the sense that they become lazy, disinterested, b
hy, doesnt want to have too much sex anymore, irresponsible with money etc?Is it true that they change after marriage? and if yes, how?
LotusACBC said:
V8 Mate - very funny
Stripped down version is as follows:
Is it true that women change once you marry them . In the sense that they become lazy, disinterested, bhy, doesnt want to have too much sex anymore, irresponsible with money etc?
Is it true that they change after marriage? and if yes, how?
Hell yeah! One sniff of wedding cake and it's all over; she'll never be the same again.Stripped down version is as follows:
Is it true that women change once you marry them . In the sense that they become lazy, disinterested, b
hy, doesnt want to have too much sex anymore, irresponsible with money etc?Is it true that they change after marriage? and if yes, how?
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