my mate needs some help

[Cooky]

ok, so i have this mate who needs some help and where better to ask but here at the oracle that is the ph collective

his new bird aint puttin out coz she thinks he's up to no good but for once he is actually behaving himself (honest) so after much ado, and as this is his FIFTH night of torturous nothingness he has deceided to become a monk. after much trawling of tinterweb it appears that he can't be a monk due to the fact he has kids (four for the record) just a sheer coincidence for those who know me. so can any ph monks confirm or expel this little hicup on his path to a life without sexual torment.

a swift response would be greatly appreciated as due to his current hightened frustrations he may even deceide that homosexuality become an option....as it is rumoured he was recently seen driving a chimaera...hmmm that said bein gay isn't such a bad thing as at least you'd be able to hold a decent conversation with yer partner about important stuff like... did you feel that slight misfire on the left bank as we exited the corner or darling shall we strip down the heads this weekend and reset the tappets on the cerb?

[hal-finch]

STFU. Stop being such a pansy. Log out. Smash your modem.

HTH.

[Nocebo]

5 nights without any nookie?! Just consider it the start of your abstinence training for when you get married.
Funnily, I also gave out this next piece of advice at this very same time last night:

Try wking yourself into a coma?

[Cooky]

dude that aint quite the response i ahem i mean he was lookin for. but thanks anyway

[Fiddlemesticks]

Thailand my friend.

Monks and hookers there. Can take the path for him.

[SpydieNut]

if i were you, i wouldn't be bending over to pick up anything in front of your mate.