Lies your parents told you
Discussion
Couldn't sleep last night so ended up listening to TalkSport. Had a phone in about the above subject, so being a cheat of the highest order, I wondered whether it might make for interesting reading here.
I was told that if the wind changed direction and I was pulling a grotesque face at the time, then I would be stuck with it for the rest of my life. Maybe they weren't lying after all.
If I played with my front bottom area too much, then hairs would grow on the palms of my hand....No comment.
Any more?
I was told that if the wind changed direction and I was pulling a grotesque face at the time, then I would be stuck with it for the rest of my life. Maybe they weren't lying after all.
If I played with my front bottom area too much, then hairs would grow on the palms of my hand....No comment.
Any more?
My parents told me and my brother that when the ice cream van plays a tune its to let everyone know its going back to get more ice cream because they have run out!!!
Luckily they only managed to keep this story going for a short time until an elderly relative showed them to be liars!!!
Luckily they only managed to keep this story going for a short time until an elderly relative showed them to be liars!!!
That the huge circular steel constructions in the gas refinery were where the eggs from chickens were stored. Because there is a funny smell when you drive past. I think I was about 12 before it dawned on me.
That my name is the shorter version, when in actual fact it's not. A fact I only discovered about two months ago
Think I've always called myself Smut when it should be Smutbag. I thought the bag bit was my middle name. I should really have read my birth certificate properly.
That if I ate the seeds from fruit (like apples) that they would grow in my stomach
That my name is the shorter version, when in actual fact it's not. A fact I only discovered about two months ago
Think I've always called myself Smut when it should be Smutbag. I thought the bag bit was my middle name. I should really have read my birth certificate properly.That if I ate the seeds from fruit (like apples) that they would grow in my stomach
smutbag said:
That the huge circular steel constructions in the gas refinery were where the eggs from chickens were stored. Because there is a funny smell when you drive past. I think I was about 12 before it dawned on me.
That my name is the shorter version, when in actual fact it's not. A fact I only discovered about two months ago Think I've always called myself Smut when it should be Smutbag. I thought the bag bit was my middle name. I should really have read my birth certificate properly.
That if I ate the seeds from fruit (like apples) that they would grow in my stomach
I was told that if I swallowed chewing gum it would wrap around my intestines and kill me...Quite pleasant really!That my name is the shorter version, when in actual fact it's not. A fact I only discovered about two months ago
Think I've always called myself Smut when it should be Smutbag. I thought the bag bit was my middle name. I should really have read my birth certificate properly.That if I ate the seeds from fruit (like apples) that they would grow in my stomach
Edited by E31Shrew on Saturday 25th October 11:38
My mum used to work in hosiery factory, mostly tights but occasionally making bigger garments, obviously plenty of freebies were available. She got me a shiny, black, polo neck, ladies jumper when I was young and convinced me it was the Newcastle goalkeepers top. 
And that the more stripes on the trainers, the better to avoid buying adidas.
And that the more stripes on the trainers, the better to avoid buying adidas.
The goalie one raised a smile! I always wanted a Raleigh Chopper but as my Dad had died, my Mum couldnt afford one. However she got a new job when I was 14, and nearly 6 ft tall and decided to surprise me with....a new Raleigh Chopper in Yellow. She had also spent the previous 6 months making a Batman costume for me. When she told me I looked superb in it I didnt have the heart to tell her I looked an absolute prat and spent the next 6 months riding around the estate on a poxy Chopper dressed as Batman. All my mates at this stage had discovered lady gardens and had racing bikes, so needless to say I didnt speak to her ever again.
10 Pence Short said:
smutbag said:
Alex97 said:
My uncle said that if i told anyone what had happened they wouldn't believe me anyway, so it was best to just keep it a secret.
Not funny. Even on P&P.
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