Portfolio - anyone else have to do this?
Discussion
Piss boiling now, I've spent what seems like months putting together a professional portfolio. It hasn't been months, it's only been hours really, but it's been spread over the last few months because I felt so strongly about the futility of it.
Let me expand on that a little...
I'm a paramedic. Now EVERYONE knows what paramedics do. I drive a builder's van or ropey old car with blue lights on, I pick up pissy old ladies and vomit-covered teenagers, and take them to hospital where I drink the world's worst machine coffee. Right?
But the governing body for paramedics (who FFS should know better than anyone what I do for a living) insist that I produce a portfolio of evidence to prove that I do what I do.
Now, if they want to see what jobs I've attended over the last year, they can just print it off from the control room database. So just by hitting Ctrl-P they can see, at a glance, my activation times, response times, any drugs given, skills used, etc, etc, etc, whatever they wanted to see.
Instead, I've been made to produce a pointless paper trail of policies, procedures, reflective essays and case studies. Most of this guff I have simply downloaded from the Trust intranet and printed out, exactly like everyone else has done. So what does this prove? That I'm capable of paramedic-level printing?
Anyone else forced to do pointless paper exercises like this, for absolutely no gain?
Let me expand on that a little...
I'm a paramedic. Now EVERYONE knows what paramedics do. I drive a builder's van or ropey old car with blue lights on, I pick up pissy old ladies and vomit-covered teenagers, and take them to hospital where I drink the world's worst machine coffee. Right?
But the governing body for paramedics (who FFS should know better than anyone what I do for a living) insist that I produce a portfolio of evidence to prove that I do what I do.
Now, if they want to see what jobs I've attended over the last year, they can just print it off from the control room database. So just by hitting Ctrl-P they can see, at a glance, my activation times, response times, any drugs given, skills used, etc, etc, etc, whatever they wanted to see.
Instead, I've been made to produce a pointless paper trail of policies, procedures, reflective essays and case studies. Most of this guff I have simply downloaded from the Trust intranet and printed out, exactly like everyone else has done. So what does this prove? That I'm capable of paramedic-level printing?
Anyone else forced to do pointless paper exercises like this, for absolutely no gain?
Edited by parapaul on Monday 3rd November 06:16
parapaul said:
Piss boiling now, I've spent what seems like months putting together a professional portfolio. It hasn't been months, it's only been hours really, but it's been spread over the last few months because I felt so strongly about the futility of it.
Let me expand on that a little...
I'm a paramedic. Now EVERYONE knows what paramedics do. I drive a builder's van or ropey old car with blue lights on, I pick up pissy old ladies and vomit-covered teenagers, and take them to hospital where I drink the world's worst machine coffee. Right?
But the governing body for paramedics (who FFS should know better than anyone what I do for a living) insist that I produce a portfolio of evidence to prove that I do what I do.
Now, if they want to see what jobs I've attended over the last year, they can just print it off from the control room database. So just by hitting Ctrl-P they can see, at a glance, my activation times, response times, any drugs given, skills used, etc, etc, etc, whatever they wanted to see.
Instead, I've been made to produce a pointless paper trail of policies, procedures, reflective essays and case studies. Most of this guff I have simply downloaded from the Trust intranet and printed out, exactly like everyone else has done. So what does this prove? That I'm capable of paramedic-level printing?
Anyone else forced to do pointless paper exercises like this, for absolutely no gain?
I would be tempted to give them a blow by blow account of how I created the portfolio leaving out all the medical stuff.Let me expand on that a little...
I'm a paramedic. Now EVERYONE knows what paramedics do. I drive a builder's van or ropey old car with blue lights on, I pick up pissy old ladies and vomit-covered teenagers, and take them to hospital where I drink the world's worst machine coffee. Right?
But the governing body for paramedics (who FFS should know better than anyone what I do for a living) insist that I produce a portfolio of evidence to prove that I do what I do.
Now, if they want to see what jobs I've attended over the last year, they can just print it off from the control room database. So just by hitting Ctrl-P they can see, at a glance, my activation times, response times, any drugs given, skills used, etc, etc, etc, whatever they wanted to see.
Instead, I've been made to produce a pointless paper trail of policies, procedures, reflective essays and case studies. Most of this guff I have simply downloaded from the Trust intranet and printed out, exactly like everyone else has done. So what does this prove? That I'm capable of paramedic-level printing?
Anyone else forced to do pointless paper exercises like this, for absolutely no gain?
after all you have been doing it for a living
ypauly said:
I would be tempted to give them a blow by blow account of how I created the portfolio leaving out all the medical stuff.
after all you have been doing it for a living
after all you have been doing it for a living
Was tempted to introduce some completely unrelated stuff at random points through the folder - photocopies of supermarket receipts, things like that - just to see if they ever got picked up on...
You need a portfolio..... to be a Paramedic? I can't fathom the insanity of whomever dreamed this one up... wow.
Seeing as this idea was likely dreamed up by some idealistic left-wing nanny-state type, I would suggest that you have some fun with it. Find the goriest images that you can find for illustrations. Give graphic, yet professional, descriptions of how you deal with the worst sort of carnage that you have ever seen. That might just give them a hint.
Seeing as this idea was likely dreamed up by some idealistic left-wing nanny-state type, I would suggest that you have some fun with it. Find the goriest images that you can find for illustrations. Give graphic, yet professional, descriptions of how you deal with the worst sort of carnage that you have ever seen. That might just give them a hint.
Edited by MrVelox on Monday 3rd November 01:51
parapaul said:
ypauly said:
I would be tempted to give them a blow by blow account of how I created the portfolio leaving out all the medical stuff.
after all you have been doing it for a living
after all you have been doing it for a living
Was tempted to introduce some completely unrelated stuff at random points through the folder - photocopies of supermarket receipts, things like that - just to see if they ever got picked up on...
used bandages
clinical waste
dried up sick
put the lot in there they won't ask again
MrVelox said:
...Find the goriest images that you can find for illustrations. Give graphic, yet professional, descriptions of how you deal with the worst sort of carnage that you have ever seen. That might just give them a hint.
Hmmm.... Rotten.com could be my friend for that.... 
ypauly said:
go the whole hod
used bandages
clinical waste
dried up sick
put the lot in there they won't ask again
Nice used bandages
clinical waste
dried up sick
put the lot in there they won't ask again
Problem is I'm running out of room, the sick's a viable option, it would fit OK in an A4 plastic wallet but the bandages would just be too chunky. Maybe I should put in a sample of the roadkill from the car grille the other day, to provide 'evidence' of the fact I travel at speed?
Edited by parapaul on Monday 3rd November 03:16
Do you have National Occupational Standards? I did during my two year probation. Apparently they apply to a wide variety of careers.
For me, 926 individual competencies that had to be itemised and accounted for, some up to five or six times. This was done by way of 'Witness Testimonies' and 'Reflective Journals'. All of which had to be done in my own time, fitting around shift times.
It must have taken me hundreds of hours of my own time to write absolute s
e to get nearly a thousands ticks in boxes to prove I can do my job. The fking thing will never see the light of day again, and is now languishing in my loft. Total waste of my time. 
For me, 926 individual competencies that had to be itemised and accounted for, some up to five or six times. This was done by way of 'Witness Testimonies' and 'Reflective Journals'. All of which had to be done in my own time, fitting around shift times.
It must have taken me hundreds of hours of my own time to write absolute s
e to get nearly a thousands ticks in boxes to prove I can do my job. The fking thing will never see the light of day again, and is now languishing in my loft. Total waste of my time. When I left my nursing registration behind I took delight in chucking my portfolio out. Reflective essays, 'how to pick up a box' certificates etc.
Its all invented by professional bodies to make their profession look dramatically professional.
Its not as if you paramedics get paid much anyway. Band 5 is it? -6 if you're a team leader?
Its all invented by professional bodies to make their profession look dramatically professional.
Its not as if you paramedics get paid much anyway. Band 5 is it? -6 if you're a team leader?
I'm afraid this is the way a lot of professions are going, towards making what you do into a recordable/transferrable skill.
As a detective I had to do a similar portfolio and evidence my competence over 6 months, it's apparently designed to be part of an NVQ.
Which is fine, however I am not particularly bothered about an NVQ, and one in Policing is hardly helpful outside the profession!!
As a detective I had to do a similar portfolio and evidence my competence over 6 months, it's apparently designed to be part of an NVQ.
Which is fine, however I am not particularly bothered about an NVQ, and one in Policing is hardly helpful outside the profession!!
How timely..!
I had to do a similar load of nonsense last year, going through all my old notebooks, sifting through the jobs I've had, being tested on various laws etc. I'm off to a function tomorrow unfortuntely to be presented with mypiece of paper certificate by some suits to show I have some sort of qualification in law enforcement/detection. Can't wait. It's on my bloody days off too. As way of a small protest, I intend to turn up in jeans and an old shirt.
I had to do a similar load of nonsense last year, going through all my old notebooks, sifting through the jobs I've had, being tested on various laws etc. I'm off to a function tomorrow unfortuntely to be presented with my
You could always get a couple of mates together and make a really bad documentary movie remake of some of your daily exploits ( Be Kind Rewind style), burn it to DVD and stick it in the portfolio!
parapaul said:
ypauly said:
I would be tempted to give them a blow by blow account of how I created the portfolio leaving out all the medical stuff.
after all you have been doing it for a living
after all you have been doing it for a living
Was tempted to introduce some completely unrelated stuff at random points through the folder - photocopies of supermarket receipts, things like that - just to see if they ever got picked up on...
Off at a tangent but when we had blow by blow accounts justifying expense claims it gave rise to some interesting stuff.
Bean Counter:-Petrol receipts, put all information on the back of the receipt.
Assembled Squirrels:- all information? what do you mean?
BC:- reg number, vehicle, in fact just put as much info as you can get on the back.
Cue various expenses claims:-
Sainsbury's Wandsworth road, pump no 7, interesting Porker with good class of totty at pump 5, sunny day but chilly breeze making it too cold to call tit Monday yet, fine selection of sandwiches and snacks, bit of a queue at paydesk, cashier grumpy.....
That taught the beggars.
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