my mates stag do - what can we do to him?

[gsfrontera]

Were going on my mates stag do in a few weeks. We are making a weekend of it doing quad biking and the like.

Now stag weekends generally being the weekend to make you mate look a dick, we dont want to let the side down.

My mate is expecting something to happen to him. Something will, but what I want to know is how we can get him. We want to do something different. We were going to handcuff him to a dwarf, so he has to take the dwarf everywhere but costs and the fact its probably racist or sizist or fatist or against some other discriminate law we have decided not to.

So, I ask... What do we do? I dont want to kill my mate, or disable him (however temporary disablement is an option). Ive been warned by the wife to be that if we shave his hair we are in deep st (I know this seems like the thing to do then) but we need some ideas.

Someone out there must have had their mate good and proper! Help me out!

[moleamol]

Gang rape him.

[Monochrome]

Get him wasted, strip him, cover in copious amounts of fake tan, wrap in cling film, duck tape him to an object, sell him to an art gallery as a piece of modern sculpture.

Seriously though fake tan him, the whole of his face or just half, whatever you feel like.

The bride to be just wants his hair to be intact, she didn't say anything about him turning up looking like the giant freckle below.

[Hollywood Wheels]

Don't wanna sound like a killjoy, but I just do not get such things at all. He's getting married? So why does that mean he has to be ritually humiliated by his so-called 'mates'.
I'm not married, but if ever did, I would never have a 'stag do', I just don't see the point at all. It's quite immature and pathetic to be honest.

[Coq au Vin]

moleamol said:

Gang rape him.

+1. On no account must he enjoy himself.

[The Riddler]

Hawaiian baby woodrose seeds. 7 will do the trick. Hide them in his food then watch him melt.

Trusting him with machinery or painballing devices would probably not be advisable though.

[gsfrontera]

Hollywood Wheels said:

Don't wanna sound like a killjoy, but I just do not get such things at all. He's getting married? So why does that mean he has to be ritually humiliated by his so-called 'mates'.
I'm not married, but if ever did, I would never have a 'stag do', I just don't see the point at all. It's quite immature and pathetic to be honest.

Thats your opinion and your entitled to it. Its called having a laugh. What will you do the weekend before your wedding, go to the library or down the railway station for a bit of spotting? Me and my mates are practical joke people, we like to do things to each other, to laugh at each other, to still laugh today about things what happened years ago. Thats the way we are.

Immature, maybe. Pathetic, maybe...

But by God, its gonna be fun (you should try it sometime)

[allgonepetetong]

Hollywood Wheels said:

Don't wanna sound like a killjoy, but I just do not get such things at all. He's getting married? So why does that mean he has to be ritually humiliated by his so-called 'mates'.
I'm not married, but if ever did, I would never have a 'stag do', I just don't see the point at all. It's quite immature and pathetic to be honest.

You're not married because, in fact, you are a gayer! AICMFP

[Mekon]

When I ran a stag do, any torture that didn't leave a mark was considered fair. Sadly, I didn't do enough homework, and we missed waterboarding. Rumsfeld said it's cool, so don't miss it out.

Tip - zip ties are a cheap substitute for handcuffs, and can be easily hidden.

[Jasandjules]

Hollywood Wheels said:

Don't wanna sound like a killjoy, but I just do not get such things at all. He's getting married? So why does that mean he has to be ritually humiliated by his so-called 'mates'.
I'm not married, but if ever did, I would never have a 'stag do', I just don't see the point at all. It's quite immature and pathetic to be honest.

I tend to agree.

Fair one to get out on the lash or have a good time shooting, driving/paintballing etc.. but what is with the stripping someone and leaving them tied to a lamppost?

I know a fellow who had his stag do in Amsterdam, his mates had a "laugh" which culminated in him missing the ferry home and thus his wedding day..............

[Sheriff JWPepper]

gsfrontera said:

Hollywood Wheels said:

Don't wanna sound like a killjoy, but I just do not get such things at all. He's getting married? So why does that mean he has to be ritually humiliated by his so-called 'mates'.
I'm not married, but if ever did, I would never have a 'stag do', I just don't see the point at all. It's quite immature and pathetic to be honest.

Thats your opinion and your entitled to it. Its called having a laugh. What will you do the weekend before your wedding, go to the library or down the railway station for a bit of spotting? Me and my mates are practical joke people, we like to do things to each other, to laugh at each other, to still laugh today about things what happened years ago. Thats the way we are.

Immature, maybe. Pathetic, maybe...

But by God, its gonna be fun (you should try it sometime)

There's a difference though between a good practical joke and humiliating someone which is what most stag night pranks seem to involve.

[Bing o]

Just don't come to Bournemouth - your sort have already ruined the town centre, one less bunch of immature drunken tts in matching tsirts with comedy nick names on won't be missed.

HTH

[john_p]

My uncle and his mates procured a solid metal ball and chain from somewhere (this predated the internet by a few decades, god knows where they got it from) and at the end of a drunken evening the key had been 'lost' and the groom placed on a train to Glasgow. With the wedding the next day, the ball and chain had to be hacksawed off, that the groom limped for the whole of his wedding day and the couple never spoke to my uncle and his friends ever again..

Edited by john_p on Monday 3rd November 08:37

[maximm]

I have a crazy idea...take him out, get hammered and have a laugh then go home having enjoyed a great weekend.

Dont see the need for strapping people to lamposts etc etc....

[Plotloss]

Get him stfaced, pluck his eyelashes out.

Not eyebrows but eyelashes.

Imagine our suprise when we discovered they take years to grow back.

His wedding photos look a bit odd.

[thunderbelmont]

maximm said:

I have a crazy idea...take him out, get hammered and have a laugh then go home having enjoyed a great weekend.

Dont see the need for strapping people to lamposts etc etc....

+2

[2something]

It really depends on your mate. All you have to ask is 'do you think this is going to make his weekend more or less fun' if it's going to make it a fun weekend for him - then do it, if not - then don't do it.

I have been on too many stag parties where it's been a good weekend, but then the collective need to 'do something to the stag' or 'tick the stag party check list' has just made it st. It's easy to have a good weekend with the boys, don't risk it becoming crap by feeling some need to conform with what is expected to happen on stag parties.

The idea of getting the stags best mates together for a weekend that usually isn't cheap and then showing him a st time is pretty stupid. It's his wedding, he's your mate, show him a good time.

Obviously some guys would be dissapointed without a bit of ritual humiliation and obscene drinking, but take into account your stag, don't apply a one size fits all rule.

[Obiwonkeyblokey]

The legendary smurf stag do.....




http://www.soverywrong.com/stag-weekend-stories.ht...

[Stigmundfreud]

gsfrontera said:

Hollywood Wheels said:

Don't wanna sound like a killjoy, but I just do not get such things at all. He's getting married? So why does that mean he has to be ritually humiliated by his so-called 'mates'.
I'm not married, but if ever did, I would never have a 'stag do', I just don't see the point at all. It's quite immature and pathetic to be honest.

Thats your opinion and your entitled to it. Its called having a laugh. What will you do the weekend before your wedding, go to the library or down the railway station for a bit of spotting? Me and my mates are practical joke people, we like to do things to each other, to laugh at each other, to still laugh today about things what happened years ago. Thats the way we are.

Immature, maybe. Pathetic, maybe...

But by God, its gonna be fun (you should try it sometime)

I think you need to redefine the term "fun". 20 years ago we accepted jokes in mainstream tv, 20 years ago stag do pranks were also funny.

[ol' dirty]

I bumped into an old friend in town a while back, & something did'nt look quite right about him- like something was missing on his face...

Took me a while to click, but fk me his eyebrows were missing! Funny to start with, but that is going to be on his wedding album forever- or however long he is married.

I think your mate is going to be stting his pants on the run-up to this (I was with mine, although I got away lightly with a mild tea bagging incident ) & I think for some, the mental torture is enough.

By all means get him an outfit from Westward Bound