FAO Plumbers
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gtr-gaz

Original Poster:

5,281 posts

276 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
Customer: This loo has never been right since you put it in.

Plumber: Whats wrong with it?

Customer: It doesn't flush properly.

Plumber: Let me try it.

Customer: The water comes out but it doesn't always flush away.

Plumber: It has a six-litre flush to save water. They are all like that now.It is the law. If it delivers six-litres that is all I can do.

Customer: What is the point of that? I end up flushing it twice so it doesn't save a thing.

Plumber: I agree but what can I do?

Customer: Well surely you can make some representations to the people who make the law.

Plumber: Yeah, like they are going to listen to me. They don't ask us about anything. Do you think I should write to the Prime Minister?

Customer: I bet the loo in Downing Street flushes perfectly well.

Plumber: And Buckingham Palace.

Customer: Exactly. Meanwhile the average person has to put up with this rubbish.

Plumber: Not only you. I've got one, and half the country will have one sooner or later.

Customer: That's outrageous. Who designs these things? There must be some standards.

Plumber: Oh yes. Scientists spent years flushing little putty and sawdust sausages around glass U- bends so they could see what they did with different quantities of water. There was a British standard but now we have a Euro loo based on the average. That includes your Italian and your Dutch, not to mention your Croatian.

Customer: Brussels again, I knew it.

Plumber: Yeah it's nothing to do with us plumbers at all. We are just innocent victims.

Customer: Well thanks for looking.

Plumber: That'll be 46 quid please. Plus the dreaded VAT. A European tax if I'm not mistaken.

trumpet600

3,527 posts

261 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
I would guess that as the diet of most European countries has a lot of oil in it, the proverbial sh i t really does slide off the shovel.....so to speak.

blindswelledrat

25,257 posts

262 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
WHat the hell is this?

blindswelledrat

25,257 posts

262 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
Really- what the hell is this?
I mean-it didn't actually happen, it's not a joke, it's not funny it is just a bizarrely insane way of saying "these new toilet rules arent very good are they?".
If you want your dinner- do you say to your wife: "a roofing contrator says to his wife "I'm really hungry" so his wife replies "shall I put dinner on?" to which he replies "Yes please" wink wink

trumpet600

3,527 posts

261 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
blindswelledrat said:
Really- what the hell is this?
I mean-it didn't actually happen, it's not a joke, it's not funny it is just a bizarrely insane way of saying "these new toilet rules arent very good are they?".
If you want your dinner- do you say to your wife: "a roofing contrator says to his wife "I'm really hungry" so his wife replies "shall I put dinner on?" to which he replies "Yes please" wink wink
Are you saying then, that what the OP really means is he needs a dump. One so big it won't flush away without the aid of a coathangers assistance?

Hoppy2008

2,496 posts

225 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
trumpet600 said:
blindswelledrat said:
Really- what the hell is this?
I mean-it didn't actually happen, it's not a joke, it's not funny it is just a bizarrely insane way of saying "these new toilet rules arent very good are they?".
If you want your dinner- do you say to your wife: "a roofing contrator says to his wife "I'm really hungry" so his wife replies "shall I put dinner on?" to which he replies "Yes please" wink wink
Are you saying then, that what the OP really means is he needs a dump. One so big it won't flush away without the aid of a coathangers assistance?
Poor boiling water on it.

HTH

trumpet600

3,527 posts

261 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
Hoppy2008 said:
Poor boiling water on it.

HTH
Do you have a kettle in your bog?

And I thought I spent a long time on the khazi.

Heskey

4,048 posts

223 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
The hell have I walked into? That was craaaaaaaaaaaap!

blindswelledrat

25,257 posts

262 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
I still don't know what this is?
Can you tell us please OP. Is this literally in irrelevant excerpt from a conversation someone you know had with a plunber?
If so why?

blindswelledrat

25,257 posts

262 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
Really-I cannot let this drop off the page until I know what it is and what its for.
I am so genuinely bewildered as to why it is posted.
I must know.

blindswelledrat

25,257 posts

262 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
Please tell us.

Davi

17,153 posts

250 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
blindswelledrat said:
Please tell us.
I'm not great at taking subtle hints so may be well off the mark, but do you by any chance want to know the reasoning behind this post?

Mc Lovin

5,588 posts

251 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
I just got a screen come up saying anti flooding device, plumbers cant be all bad, the P&P has just been saved from a flood!!

52classic

2,638 posts

240 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
Fit an immersion heater to your cistern and it will make the flushing action twice as effective. The steam also relieves blackheads from one's behind!

blindswelledrat

25,257 posts

262 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
Mc Lovin said:
I just got a screen come up saying anti flooding device, plumbers cant be all bad, the P&P has just been saved from a flood!!
Jesus. WHat the hell is that?

Mc Lovin

5,588 posts

251 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
blindswelledrat said:
Mc Lovin said:
I just got a screen come up saying anti flooding device, plumbers cant be all bad, the P&P has just been saved from a flood!!
Jesus. WHat the hell is that?
Its an anti flooding device, i wasn't shown the actual device, just told that it was in operation

Plotloss

67,280 posts

300 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
blindswelledrat said:
Mc Lovin said:
I just got a screen come up saying anti flooding device, plumbers cant be all bad, the P&P has just been saved from a flood!!
Jesus. WHat the hell is that?
The desperation of the unfunny attempting to be funny.

Makes me feel dirty, ashamed almost.

blindswelledrat

25,257 posts

262 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
Mc Lovin said:
blindswelledrat said:
Mc Lovin said:
I just got a screen come up saying anti flooding device, plumbers cant be all bad, the P&P has just been saved from a flood!!
Jesus. WHat the hell is that?
Its an anti flooding device, i wasn't shown the actual device, just told that it was in operation
No, I mean what the hell is that you said?
I know what the PH anti-flooding device is. Its a prgramme which prevents people making multiple posts in quick succession.
Im just not sure why you are pretending that its something a plumber installed as though a webpage contains water and might leak. Because I know that you know that is incorrect. Thus back to my question

Mc Lovin

5,588 posts

251 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
blindswelledrat said:
Mc Lovin said:
blindswelledrat said:
Mc Lovin said:
I just got a screen come up saying anti flooding device, plumbers cant be all bad, the P&P has just been saved from a flood!!
Jesus. WHat the hell is that?
Its an anti flooding device, i wasn't shown the actual device, just told that it was in operation
No, I mean what the hell is that you said?
I know what the PH anti-flooding device is. Its a prgramme which prevents people making multiple posts in quick succession.
Im just not sure why you are pretending that its something a plumber installed as though a webpage contains water and might leak. Because I know that you know that is incorrect. Thus back to my question
So the internet contains no water?

Cara Van Man

29,977 posts

281 months

Wednesday 5th November 2008
quotequote all
Mc Lovin said:
blindswelledrat said:
Mc Lovin said:
blindswelledrat said:
Mc Lovin said:
I just got a screen come up saying anti flooding device, plumbers cant be all bad, the P&P has just been saved from a flood!!
Jesus. WHat the hell is that?
Its an anti flooding device, i wasn't shown the actual device, just told that it was in operation
No, I mean what the hell is that you said?
I know what the PH anti-flooding device is. Its a prgramme which prevents people making multiple posts in quick succession.
Im just not sure why you are pretending that its something a plumber installed as though a webpage contains water and might leak. Because I know that you know that is incorrect. Thus back to my question
So the internet contains no water?
Well, no, apart from the piss you keep posting.