Givzus a job, BBC. I can do that.
Discussion
7.30 BBC 2 All Over The Shop - 'Entrepreneur Geoff Burch lends his expertise to businesses in Southsea'
Did anyone else this load of toss paid for by our licence fee last night? This Burch bloke (who he by the way) went around three shops in Southsea telling the idiots running three businesses the totally bleeding obvious. Here are some of his choice pieces of advice;
"Your window display is hopeless"
"Your shop has too much stock and is too crowded"
"Hair Salons need to be smart & trendy, yours looks tatty"
WELL DUH!
Anyone and I mean anyone who has been in retail for longer than 10 minutes could take a look at any of these places and know what was wrong. And the muppets who were running these places were made to look like complete dylans. They stood there and took what was basically the same advice any management trainee from Argos could have told them, ON NATIONAL TV!! I hope their bank managers were watching.
"So you want an extension on your overdraft then? Aren't you the dumbnuts who didn't realise his shop window like Oxfam and yet had to be told so by a discount Siralan clone in a crombi coat? The door is over there, chief but before you go we'd like all our money back, the keys to your house, the keys to shop, the keys to your car and all your wifes underpants. Lovely chubbly"
But in the meantime BBC can I have that job? Stating the bleeding obvious is something I do very well and if you could pay me about £5000 an epsiode that would be nice.
It can be found here http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/search/?q=all%20over%... if you can bear to watch your licence fee being pissed away by an idiot who doesn't deserve a programme helping idiots who are so stupid they don't deserve to be in business.
In the meantime if the BBC would like to contact me at thehypnotoad@wouldliketoearnafortunefordoingbuggerall.com. I'm sure we can thrash something out about my TV debut. We can call it 'Toad In The Road'. I'll sit by the A3 and call out the makes and models of all the interesting cars as they drive through the roadworks at Hindhead.
"Oh look, a Porsche"
"There goes Katie Price again,"
"Oh a Talbot Tangora, you don't see many of them,"
"A Jeep Cherokee Auto. I wonder if he knows its worth the fuel in the tank,"
"Rob Collard must be going to IMSA judging by the amounts of his lorrys round here,"
"Oh look, another Porsche"
Cheers
Did anyone else this load of toss paid for by our licence fee last night? This Burch bloke (who he by the way) went around three shops in Southsea telling the idiots running three businesses the totally bleeding obvious. Here are some of his choice pieces of advice;
"Your window display is hopeless"
"Your shop has too much stock and is too crowded"
"Hair Salons need to be smart & trendy, yours looks tatty"
WELL DUH!
Anyone and I mean anyone who has been in retail for longer than 10 minutes could take a look at any of these places and know what was wrong. And the muppets who were running these places were made to look like complete dylans. They stood there and took what was basically the same advice any management trainee from Argos could have told them, ON NATIONAL TV!! I hope their bank managers were watching.
"So you want an extension on your overdraft then? Aren't you the dumbnuts who didn't realise his shop window like Oxfam and yet had to be told so by a discount Siralan clone in a crombi coat? The door is over there, chief but before you go we'd like all our money back, the keys to your house, the keys to shop, the keys to your car and all your wifes underpants. Lovely chubbly"
But in the meantime BBC can I have that job? Stating the bleeding obvious is something I do very well and if you could pay me about £5000 an epsiode that would be nice.
It can be found here http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/search/?q=all%20over%... if you can bear to watch your licence fee being pissed away by an idiot who doesn't deserve a programme helping idiots who are so stupid they don't deserve to be in business.
In the meantime if the BBC would like to contact me at thehypnotoad@wouldliketoearnafortunefordoingbuggerall.com. I'm sure we can thrash something out about my TV debut. We can call it 'Toad In The Road'. I'll sit by the A3 and call out the makes and models of all the interesting cars as they drive through the roadworks at Hindhead.
"Oh look, a Porsche"
"There goes Katie Price again,"
"Oh a Talbot Tangora, you don't see many of them,"
"A Jeep Cherokee Auto. I wonder if he knows its worth the fuel in the tank,"
"Rob Collard must be going to IMSA judging by the amounts of his lorrys round here,"
"Oh look, another Porsche"
Cheers
OK, I'll bite
How many small shops near you fail to follow the basic rules?
How many have you not been inside because they don't tempt you in?
Have you been into a Boots the Chemist in the past decade? Their layout hasn't changed since the 1970s
You've clearly never been to Argos - a store designed to leave you disappointed and with considerably higher blood pressure.
Retailers, and other small businesses often have a huge blindspot when it comes to marketing themselves, when all it takes is to look at what they do through the eyes of a customer. We see it here often enough when people ask for marketing ideas - they expect advice on a door-drop campaign, they often get "have you put your phone number on the side of the van?"
As a TV show it's pants - the attempts to create conflict have all fallen flat as every shopkeeper has eagerly signed up to the guy's ideas. But it should be required viewing for every shopkeeper, indeed every small business that deals directly with the public.
How many small shops near you fail to follow the basic rules?
How many have you not been inside because they don't tempt you in?
Have you been into a Boots the Chemist in the past decade? Their layout hasn't changed since the 1970s
You've clearly never been to Argos - a store designed to leave you disappointed and with considerably higher blood pressure.
Retailers, and other small businesses often have a huge blindspot when it comes to marketing themselves, when all it takes is to look at what they do through the eyes of a customer. We see it here often enough when people ask for marketing ideas - they expect advice on a door-drop campaign, they often get "have you put your phone number on the side of the van?"
As a TV show it's pants - the attempts to create conflict have all fallen flat as every shopkeeper has eagerly signed up to the guy's ideas. But it should be required viewing for every shopkeeper, indeed every small business that deals directly with the public.
Gassing Station | The Pie & Piston Archive | Top of Page | What's New | My Stuff