Christmas chat-up lines

[fathomfive]

So.....whats the best / worst you've used / heard?

[10 Pence Short]

Santa comes but once a year. I can manage twice an hour.

[DrTre]

Just like Santa, I empty my sack once a year. How about it's down your chimney darling?

edit: tiresomely predictable obviously

Edited by DrTre on Tuesday 23 December 00:34

[DrTre]

Not strictly on a Christmas theme except he was wearing a Santa hat, but a friend slurred into a girls ear:

"Do you tek it up ricker?"

Earned him a swift knee to the clockweights did that.

[RupertTheFridge]

So tell me young lady, what I can I put in your stockings this year?

[poj]

I'm just doing a stand in santa job,actually I'm a milkman so any chance of leaving a pint of cream in your back passage

[jeff m]

If you intend on having a Happy Christmas I'd keeping working on these as so far you ain't getting any

[Mobile Chicane]

jeff m said:

If you intend on having a Happy Christmas I'd keeping working on these as so far you ain't getting any

Agreed. Poor show

[fathomfive]

jeff m said:

If you intend on having a Happy Christmas I'd keeping working on these as so far you ain't getting any

did that one work?

[RupertTheFridge]

My favourite that I saw once

Chap walked over to a pretty girl with her obligatory ugly mate.
Chap asked ugly girl if she wanted to dance.
When she got up and said yes, he said "great, you won't be needing this chair then", and sat down next to her pretty mate.

He didn't get anywhere but it was f**king priceless......

[Slagathore]

RupertTheFridge said:

My favourite that I saw once

Chap walked over to a pretty girl with her obligatory ugly mate.
Chap asked ugly girl if she wanted to dance.
When she got up and said yes, he said "great, you won't be needing this chair then", and sat down next to her pretty mate.

He didn't get anywhere but it was f**king priceless......

That doesn't appear to be related to christmas at all!

Damn funny, though

[RupertTheFridge]

Sorry forgot to say, it was at christmas a couple of years back, apologies apologies apologies ......