Why can't people end their failing relationships?
Discussion
It's late at night, I should be asleep cos of work in the morning but I can't stop wondering about this...
Why have I got so many friends, mainly female, who can not bring themselves to leave the crappy relationship they are in?
They all tell me how s
t it is, tell me the crazy things their partners are doing - smashing things up, self-harm etc
I must admit I've struggled to finish a failing relationship for fear of upsetting her and never really had to experience any crap like that, but why do so many people put up with really stty people? 
Why have I got so many friends, mainly female, who can not bring themselves to leave the crappy relationship they are in?
They all tell me how s
t it is, tell me the crazy things their partners are doing - smashing things up, self-harm etcI must admit I've struggled to finish a failing relationship for fear of upsetting her and never really had to experience any crap like that, but why do so many people put up with really s
tty people? sleep envy said:
fear of failure and solitude
A lot of people, girls mainly, define themselves by their partner. If they are with no one, they are no one.
Once they are single they will realise it is better. But they don't see that. They would just rather be in any relationship than none.
They love them but like to bh about them, like the husband that tells his mistress that he will leave his wife for her.
But, yes, it's pretty amazing really how many blokes do things like crying, sobbing, emotional blackmail, self-harm, drinking etc. Not many real men out there these days.
h about them, like the husband that tells his mistress that he will leave his wife for her.But, yes, it's pretty amazing really how many blokes do things like crying, sobbing, emotional blackmail, self-harm, drinking etc. Not many real men out there these days.
kit80 said:
Does "true love" and "The One" come into this at all? Or should I stop being a girl and get my coat?
Yes dear..I'll get the door 
It takes guts to end a relationship, well if it's one you've been in for a while (talking years, not weeks or months). You go from being part of a team, which may be s
te....but you've still got some company, to no one except yourself. And that is frightening for a lot of people.I get told regularly that I should be proud of myself, for getting out of a relationship that was no longer was based on love. But am not, I suppose in some ways I feel a failure
Cowardliness.
Penny, you did exactly the right thing. It might not feel like it yet, but in time it will.
When I broke up with my ex it was one of the hardest things I've ever done, mainly because I'm a big soft get and hate to think I'm hurting someone who I like (but didn't love).
A few months later, I met the woman I ended up marrying. It wouldn't have happened if I'd still been stuck in a dead relationship.
Penny, you did exactly the right thing. It might not feel like it yet, but in time it will.
When I broke up with my ex it was one of the hardest things I've ever done, mainly because I'm a big soft get and hate to think I'm hurting someone who I like (but didn't love).
A few months later, I met the woman I ended up marrying. It wouldn't have happened if I'd still been stuck in a dead relationship.
Some people are optimists and always think things will turn around, or maybe there are kids involved. But mainly I think it's fear of being alone. I have been in a situation where I was miserable but hung on in the relationship because I did love the person but knew we weren't right. But I was scared I might end it and be proved wrong and have the worst regret hanging over me and the loneliness!
In the end, he pulled the plug and although I was devastated at the time, it really was the best decision.
In the end, he pulled the plug and although I was devastated at the time, it really was the best decision.
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