A curious state of affairs at Gatwick Airport
Discussion
This is an appeal to anyone who ever flies from Gatwick ...
When you turn up at the airport, you queue up for half an hour to check your cases in, some bored and joyless individual looks anywhere but at your passport and your hand baggage gets x-rayed for compound fractures.
You then walk through that imposing security arch, convinced that you have divested yourself of anything remotely metallic, and immediately hear that inevitable beep-beep-beep that marks you out as an enemy of the state. You look longingly at the outrageously sexy security guard in the tight blouse, all pouting lips and flowing brunette hair, only to get your wedding vegetables felt up by Derek, the short fat bloke who's in an unhappy marriage.
After this indignity your ordeal still isn't over. You still have the ordeal of the shoe scanner. With about 150 people coming through at any one time, the powers that be think that three rickety stools are plenty for people to re-shoe themselves afterward.
Thank you very much Richard Reid.
Now, here's my point. Your emerge into this wonderland of the most outrageously-priced goods in the known universe. And just to your left is ...
A luggage shop.
Now, and maybe I'm missing something here, but is there a more stupid place to set up such a business enterprise? Once you're in here, the last thing you need is a ruddy great suitcase which you can't use and can't take onto the plane.
So my question is this: has anyone here ever bought a case from this establishment? And if so, why?
It's a genuine puzzle to me
When you turn up at the airport, you queue up for half an hour to check your cases in, some bored and joyless individual looks anywhere but at your passport and your hand baggage gets x-rayed for compound fractures.
You then walk through that imposing security arch, convinced that you have divested yourself of anything remotely metallic, and immediately hear that inevitable beep-beep-beep that marks you out as an enemy of the state. You look longingly at the outrageously sexy security guard in the tight blouse, all pouting lips and flowing brunette hair, only to get your wedding vegetables felt up by Derek, the short fat bloke who's in an unhappy marriage.
After this indignity your ordeal still isn't over. You still have the ordeal of the shoe scanner. With about 150 people coming through at any one time, the powers that be think that three rickety stools are plenty for people to re-shoe themselves afterward.
Thank you very much Richard Reid.
Now, here's my point. Your emerge into this wonderland of the most outrageously-priced goods in the known universe. And just to your left is ...
A luggage shop.
Now, and maybe I'm missing something here, but is there a more stupid place to set up such a business enterprise? Once you're in here, the last thing you need is a ruddy great suitcase which you can't use and can't take onto the plane.
So my question is this: has anyone here ever bought a case from this establishment? And if so, why?
It's a genuine puzzle to me
Never understood why people would want to stock up on booze, cigarettes and perfume before / after flying anyway. Can't think of anything worse myself. Happy to pick up a quick gift or money saver, but seeing people filling the drinks cabinet at home after a holiday in Spain is rather odd.....
Its only a couple of quid TOTAL cheaper, and it hasn't been 'duty free' for bloody years!
Some places are cheaper, but I have to think that a lot of it down to people who fly who just don't realise how expensive stuff is. Found a nice laptop bag at a shop in an airport the other month. Didn't buy it, which I am pleased about. Turns out it was around 200 quid and can be had online for around 60% of that. Still didn't buy it - far too expensive.
Its only a couple of quid TOTAL cheaper, and it hasn't been 'duty free' for bloody years!
Some places are cheaper, but I have to think that a lot of it down to people who fly who just don't realise how expensive stuff is. Found a nice laptop bag at a shop in an airport the other month. Didn't buy it, which I am pleased about. Turns out it was around 200 quid and can be had online for around 60% of that. Still didn't buy it - far too expensive.
I saw that last time I flew out of Gatwick too and thought the exact same thing 
As for the booze/smokes, as I hadn't quit last time I went to Norway I stocked up before I flew. IIRC I got 400 for £28. Unfortunately I then got stopped in Norway, fined £30, and had 200 of them taken off me... But I knew I was breaking the rules so I can't really complain!
They seem to be much more bothered about that kind of thing than British customs are when you're on your way back. They didn't even have people in the customs area when I came back, just a little phone on the wall in the red area if you wanted to declare anything, the green bit was empty.
As for the booze/smokes, as I hadn't quit last time I went to Norway I stocked up before I flew. IIRC I got 400 for £28. Unfortunately I then got stopped in Norway, fined £30, and had 200 of them taken off me... But I knew I was breaking the rules so I can't really complain!
They seem to be much more bothered about that kind of thing than British customs are when you're on your way back. They didn't even have people in the customs area when I came back, just a little phone on the wall in the red area if you wanted to declare anything, the green bit was empty.
Sheaver1 said:
You then walk through that imposing security arch, convinced that you have divested yourself of anything remotely metallic, and immediately hear that inevitable beep-beep-beep that marks you out as an enemy of the state...............
They're set up to alarm on a random basis too, according to security at Edinburgh airport......bit of useless info there and nothing to do with your question!I have bought a carry on case in the airport as my case broke as I took it off the security scanner. Threw the old one away. I have also realised that I have bought duty free on the first leg of a flight (doh!) and had to buy a bag to check it in through to the next destination at the transfer desk.
jshell said:
Sheaver1 said:
You then walk through that imposing security arch, convinced that you have divested yourself of anything remotely metallic, and immediately hear that inevitable beep-beep-beep that marks you out as an enemy of the state...............
They're set up to alarm on a random basis too, according to security at Edinburgh airport......bit of useless info there and nothing to do with your question!They even do it in shops over here and then you get ruffed up by a security guard for nothing because he suspects you haven't paid for the computer you hav in your hands. Not very classy.
dwilkie said:
They seem to be much more bothered about that kind of thing than British customs are when you're on your way back. They didn't even have people in the customs area when I came back, just a little phone on the wall in the red area if you wanted to declare anything, the green bit was empty.
Unless you are in a group of 20 blokes that has been working in Dubai for the last 6 weeks..... you better brace for that.Sheaver1 said:
Thank you very much Richard Reid.
Seconded. I am a libertarian by inclination, and certainly believe that "extraordinary rendition", "enhanced interrogation" et al. have no place in any civilised criminal justice system. However, every time I find myself struggling to put my shoes back on while watching over my hand luggage and avoiding being trodden on by the kind of morbidly obese chaverella with whom I always appear to find myself sharing airport secuity lines, I think: "whatever they're doing to Richard Reid, and I do mean whatever, it is nowhere near bad enough".Sheaver1 said:
... if so, why?
It's a genuine puzzle to me
You don't have to take your purchases with you on holiday, you can collect on your return or get delivered.It's a genuine puzzle to me
When are people more likely to think about purchasing such an item, walking down the high street or standing in an airport admiring someone elses whilst hiding the "past its best" item taken down from the loft the night before?
ETA not sure if Gatwick allows you to collect on return.
Edited by AndyAudi on Monday 26th January 13:28
How many people will try that now?? 
[quote=Sheaver1]
You look longingly at the outrageously sexy security guard in the tight blouse, all pouting lips and flowing brunette hair, only to get your wedding vegetables felt up by Derek, the short fat bloke who's in an unhappy marriage.
quote]
You look longingly at the outrageously sexy security guard in the tight blouse, all pouting lips and flowing brunette hair, only to get your wedding vegetables felt up by Derek, the short fat bloke who's in an unhappy marriage.
quote]
Edited by David87M3 on Monday 26th January 13:49
they are bound to search me in a few weeks time.
I will be wearing some ski-march boots with funny square ends and are exceedingly heavy - hence wearing rather in luggage. Luggage will also have a number of large knives, saw, shovel and unusual shaped things in it.
Why Sir are you carrying long johns in your hand luggage, padded trousers and wearing those stupid boots?......
I will be wearing some ski-march boots with funny square ends and are exceedingly heavy - hence wearing rather in luggage. Luggage will also have a number of large knives, saw, shovel and unusual shaped things in it.
Why Sir are you carrying long johns in your hand luggage, padded trousers and wearing those stupid boots?......
Sheaver1 said:
This is an appeal to anyone who ever flies from Gatwick ...
When you turn up at the airport, you queue up for half an hour to check your cases in, some bored and joyless individual looks anywhere but at your passport and your hand baggage gets x-rayed for compound fractures.
You then walk through that imposing security arch, convinced that you have divested yourself of anything remotely metallic, and immediately hear that inevitable beep-beep-beep that marks you out as an enemy of the state. You look longingly at the outrageously sexy security guard in the tight blouse, all pouting lips and flowing brunette hair, only to get your wedding vegetables felt up by Derek, the short fat bloke who's in an unhappy marriage.
After this indignity your ordeal still isn't over. You still have the ordeal of the shoe scanner. With about 150 people coming through at any one time, the powers that be think that three rickety stools are plenty for people to re-shoe themselves afterward.
Thank you very much Richard Reid.
Now, here's my point. Your emerge into this wonderland of the most outrageously-priced goods in the known universe. And just to your left is ...
A luggage shop.
Now, and maybe I'm missing something here, but is there a more stupid place to set up such a business enterprise? Once you're in here, the last thing you need is a ruddy great suitcase which you can't use and can't take onto the plane.
So my question is this: has anyone here ever bought a case from this establishment? And if so, why?
It's a genuine puzzle to me
Excellent post in all respects except you forgot the most annoying bit of the whole wretched Gatwick security process, as happened to me last week when I flew out to Turin.When you turn up at the airport, you queue up for half an hour to check your cases in, some bored and joyless individual looks anywhere but at your passport and your hand baggage gets x-rayed for compound fractures.
You then walk through that imposing security arch, convinced that you have divested yourself of anything remotely metallic, and immediately hear that inevitable beep-beep-beep that marks you out as an enemy of the state. You look longingly at the outrageously sexy security guard in the tight blouse, all pouting lips and flowing brunette hair, only to get your wedding vegetables felt up by Derek, the short fat bloke who's in an unhappy marriage.
After this indignity your ordeal still isn't over. You still have the ordeal of the shoe scanner. With about 150 people coming through at any one time, the powers that be think that three rickety stools are plenty for people to re-shoe themselves afterward.
Thank you very much Richard Reid.
Now, here's my point. Your emerge into this wonderland of the most outrageously-priced goods in the known universe. And just to your left is ...
A luggage shop.
Now, and maybe I'm missing something here, but is there a more stupid place to set up such a business enterprise? Once you're in here, the last thing you need is a ruddy great suitcase which you can't use and can't take onto the plane.
So my question is this: has anyone here ever bought a case from this establishment? And if so, why?
It's a genuine puzzle to me
You put your shoes back, lacing them up whilst grunting and going ruddy faced because you are bent double on the floor as there's no chairs. You saunter ten yards through a set of sliding doors to be confronted with a second X-ray machine. What on earth is that for I thought? there then endured a tedious conversation, thus:-
"Take your shoes off please Sir" says Keith, a sallow scrawney little man with a boozer's nose and an aroma of hand-rolled tobacco, and who is big mates with Derek (see OP above).
"Oh, no need" I jauntily replied, "they just X-rayed my daisys in the main security hall".
"Ah well, we need to do them twice you see".
"No I don't see. Christ almighty, I've only just put the c*nts back on! Why the f
k do they need doing twice?""It's security Sir! But they should have told you to leave them off in the main hall".
"Well they f*ckin' well didn't!"
"They always do that, we keep telling them but they don't take no notice of no one".
So there we have it. As part of the customer service program they iradiate your shoes twice. What a total and utter waste of time. I was so exasperated I most regretably failed to see the supremely pointless baggage shop in the main concours. Well done, I'll be sure to look out for it next time.
would it not be easier to leave shoes on and just lie down on the rollers and get all of you rayed shoes n all.
You could really speed things up, zooom shot though like bullets into waiting slides and crash mats. I would even tag us like luggage so the slides could divert us to the right departure gate, zoooooom gate 23 in 5 seconds.
You could really speed things up, zooom shot though like bullets into waiting slides and crash mats. I would even tag us like luggage so the slides could divert us to the right departure gate, zoooooom gate 23 in 5 seconds.
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