Is there snow in London this morning?
Discussion
The Daily Mash said:
SNOW MELTS, CLAIMS MET OFFICE
SNOW is a delicate substance made of tiny ice crystals and unlikely to last forever, the Met Office claimed last night.
A fully-grown Alaskan Timber wolf can make you last for up to a fortnight
Experts insisted the granular material had a soft and open structure that was very likely to turn into water, and was not an airborne member of the notoriously hardwearing diamond family.
As millions of Britons stocked up on anti-wolf equipment, climatologists claimed the snow would disappear within days as rising air temperatures resulted in the breakdown of its crystalline structure in a process they referred to as 'melting'.
A Met Office spokesman, said: "Snow is a notoriously unstable material, which is why we never use it to build bridges.
"Try picking it up, notice how the warmth of your hands makes it go soft and disappear. In fact, the only thing it is guaranteed to withstand is a 12-ton London bus."
He added: "Of course, there is always a chance this is the beginning of a hundred year winter that will only end when four unbearably smug public school children become our rulers after pushing their way through the back of a magic wardrobe, stealing some very expensive coats and befriending a talking lion who's actually Jesus."
But trainee solicitor and amateur survivalist Julian Cook said he was now prepared for a permanent, snow-based society after watching Sky News non-stop for 16 hours and reading the Daily Mail's 12-page supplement, Wolves! Everywhere!
He added: "Sssshhhhh! They can hear how fat you are."
SNOW is a delicate substance made of tiny ice crystals and unlikely to last forever, the Met Office claimed last night.
A fully-grown Alaskan Timber wolf can make you last for up to a fortnight
Experts insisted the granular material had a soft and open structure that was very likely to turn into water, and was not an airborne member of the notoriously hardwearing diamond family.
As millions of Britons stocked up on anti-wolf equipment, climatologists claimed the snow would disappear within days as rising air temperatures resulted in the breakdown of its crystalline structure in a process they referred to as 'melting'.
A Met Office spokesman, said: "Snow is a notoriously unstable material, which is why we never use it to build bridges.
"Try picking it up, notice how the warmth of your hands makes it go soft and disappear. In fact, the only thing it is guaranteed to withstand is a 12-ton London bus."
He added: "Of course, there is always a chance this is the beginning of a hundred year winter that will only end when four unbearably smug public school children become our rulers after pushing their way through the back of a magic wardrobe, stealing some very expensive coats and befriending a talking lion who's actually Jesus."
But trainee solicitor and amateur survivalist Julian Cook said he was now prepared for a permanent, snow-based society after watching Sky News non-stop for 16 hours and reading the Daily Mail's 12-page supplement, Wolves! Everywhere!
He added: "Sssshhhhh! They can hear how fat you are."
I've just seen a snow plough!
Went out in an attempt to get to the station, cleared the snow off the windows and drove off only to find the main roads not gritted.
Even gentle breaking was making the back end of the car step out so i've turned around and gone home.
The snow plough was taking the snow away and leaving sheet ice underneath it.
Went out in an attempt to get to the station, cleared the snow off the windows and drove off only to find the main roads not gritted.
Even gentle breaking was making the back end of the car step out so i've turned around and gone home.
The snow plough was taking the snow away and leaving sheet ice underneath it.
pmanson said:
Got to be in South Kensington for a meeting at 8am. I've just woken up in Leighton Buzzard to a fair amount of snow.
Trains look to be running 30mins late out of LB can anyone tell me if the underground services are running? (I would need to travel from Euston to South Kensington)
Waterloo and sTrains look to be running 30mins late out of LB can anyone tell me if the underground services are running? (I would need to travel from Euston to South Kensington)
tty and Central Line fine. No new snow.pmanson said:
I've just seen a snow plough!
Went out in an attempt to get to the station, cleared the snow off the windows and drove off only to find the main roads not gritted.
Even gentle breaking was making the back end of the car step out so i've turned around and gone home.
The snow plough was taking the snow away and leaving sheet ice underneath it.
You pussy! I dug the porker out and drove from Leighton to Kings Langley!! Biggest problem was getting out of Leighton due to muppets using more and more accelerator to overcome their spinning wheels!!Went out in an attempt to get to the station, cleared the snow off the windows and drove off only to find the main roads not gritted.
Even gentle breaking was making the back end of the car step out so i've turned around and gone home.
The snow plough was taking the snow away and leaving sheet ice underneath it.
Sheepy said:
pmanson said:
I've just seen a snow plough!
Went out in an attempt to get to the station, cleared the snow off the windows and drove off only to find the main roads not gritted.
Even gentle breaking was making the back end of the car step out so i've turned around and gone home.
The snow plough was taking the snow away and leaving sheet ice underneath it.
You pussy! I dug the porker out and drove from Leighton to Kings Langley!! Biggest problem was getting out of Leighton due to muppets using more and more accelerator to overcome their spinning wheels!!Went out in an attempt to get to the station, cleared the snow off the windows and drove off only to find the main roads not gritted.
Even gentle breaking was making the back end of the car step out so i've turned around and gone home.
The snow plough was taking the snow away and leaving sheet ice underneath it.
Did pop up to Tesco's at lunchtime and made use of their empty car park - amy wasn't amused!
pmanson said:
Got to be in South Kensington for a meeting at 8am. I've just woken up in Leighton Buzzard to a fair amount of snow.
Trains look to be running 30mins late out of LB can anyone tell me if the underground services are running? (I would need to travel from Euston to South Kensington)
Can't help. I'm in New York. Trains look to be running 30mins late out of LB can anyone tell me if the underground services are running? (I would need to travel from Euston to South Kensington)
V8mate said:
Cactussed said:
BBC weather predicting another heavy fall on Monday
On the stock exchange?The Met Office couldn't be any worse at picking stocks than they are at predicting weather.
Clueless. Absolutely clueless.
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