Thick as f*** debt Collecting Agencies!!
Discussion
In the last week I have had delivered to my house 2 letters for a bloke who has never lived there. The first one looked a bit dodgy as I could see through the window in the envelope that it mentioned legal proceedings, so I opened it.
It was from a debt collection agency on behalf of United Utilities chasing a degt of £17.30. I rang them and told them the bloke doesn't, and never has lived at our address. They agreed to remove the address from their records. Then yesterday I get another letter for the mystery bloke, stating that if the bill isn't paid in 7 days we will be receiving a visit from a "field Representative" (read thick as f
k gorilla type). So I rang them again and b
ked them for being so thick s to not get the right address. And have b
ked them by fax so hopefully they will now have the message.
How can they send letter threatening people with visits to chase up debt when they are too f
king stupid to even get the right address. Even United Utilities have no record of the debt! My wife is 6 months pregnant and would have been rather worried and upset if the mentioned representative turned up at our door!! They make my piss boil, utter f
king retarded
s the lot of them.
And breath, I think I need to go for a lunch time pint to calm down!
It was from a debt collection agency on behalf of United Utilities chasing a degt of £17.30. I rang them and told them the bloke doesn't, and never has lived at our address. They agreed to remove the address from their records. Then yesterday I get another letter for the mystery bloke, stating that if the bill isn't paid in 7 days we will be receiving a visit from a "field Representative" (read thick as f
k gorilla type). So I rang them again and b
ked them for being so thick s to not get the right address. And have b
ked them by fax so hopefully they will now have the message.How can they send letter threatening people with visits to chase up debt when they are too f
king stupid to even get the right address. Even United Utilities have no record of the debt! My wife is 6 months pregnant and would have been rather worried and upset if the mentioned representative turned up at our door!! They make my piss boil, utter f
king retarded
s the lot of them.And breath, I think I need to go for a lunch time pint to calm down!

First letter will not have necessarily have been their fault, the second was probably in the mailing pile before you even called them about the first.
If they get in touch again about the same issue in the next week or so, then you may go postal at will.
2/10 good sentiment, but flawed argument.
If they get in touch again about the same issue in the next week or so, then you may go postal at will.
2/10 good sentiment, but flawed argument.
Edited by Rude-boy on Tuesday 10th February 13:06
I wrote this letter in similar circumstances last year. It worked.
my letter said:
f
kwit Receivable Services plc
FAO: [CEO]
By fax: -
[supposed creditor] – Your letter of [date], Reference [f
kwit 1]
Dear Sir,
You have written twice to x, at my address. He does not live at my address.
I have no time to waste in providing you with evidence, so I suggest you get up to date instructions from your client.
Do not write to me or to x at the above address again, unless to confirm there is no debt or apologise. Any further demand letters may be considered to be harassment and may be reported to the police with a view to your criminal prosecution under s1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1998, s85 of the Postal Services Act 2000, s127 of the Communications Act 2003, and/or s2 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 - this last with a view to the court issuing a Restraining Order against you. Additionally, civil action may be taken against you personally and your employer to cease and desist and for the recovery of all costs, together with a substantial payment in compensation for the mental pain and suffering caused.
Any action commenced by you will be defended and, given there is no debt, you will lose. You may also be pursued for defamation.
I expect that you will understand the seriousness of this matter and will instruct your employees accordingly without delay.
Yours faithfully,
[Me]
kwit Receivable Services plcFAO: [CEO]
By fax: -
[supposed creditor] – Your letter of [date], Reference [f
kwit 1]Dear Sir,
You have written twice to x, at my address. He does not live at my address.
I have no time to waste in providing you with evidence, so I suggest you get up to date instructions from your client.
Do not write to me or to x at the above address again, unless to confirm there is no debt or apologise. Any further demand letters may be considered to be harassment and may be reported to the police with a view to your criminal prosecution under s1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1998, s85 of the Postal Services Act 2000, s127 of the Communications Act 2003, and/or s2 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 - this last with a view to the court issuing a Restraining Order against you. Additionally, civil action may be taken against you personally and your employer to cease and desist and for the recovery of all costs, together with a substantial payment in compensation for the mental pain and suffering caused.
Any action commenced by you will be defended and, given there is no debt, you will lose. You may also be pursued for defamation.
I expect that you will understand the seriousness of this matter and will instruct your employees accordingly without delay.
Yours faithfully,
[Me]
Iain H said:
In the last week I have had delivered to my house 2 letters for a bloke who has never lived there. The first one looked a bit dodgy as I could see through the window in the envelope that it mentioned legal proceedings, so I opened it.
It was from a debt collection agency on behalf of United Utilities chasing a degt of £17.30. I rang them and told them the bloke doesn't, and never has lived at our address. They agreed to remove the address from their records. Then yesterday I get another letter for the mystery bloke, stating that if the bill isn't paid in 7 days we will be receiving a visit from a "field Representative" (read thick as f
k gorilla type). So I rang them again and b
ked them for being so thick s to not get the right address. And have b
ked them by fax so hopefully they will now have the message.
How can they send letter threatening people with visits to chase up debt when they are too f
king stupid to even get the right address. Even United Utilities have no record of the debt! My wife is 6 months pregnant and would have been rather worried and upset if the mentioned representative turned up at our door!! They make my piss boil, utter f
king retarded
s the lot of them.
And breath, I think I need to go for a lunch time pint to calm down!
This is exactly why Bailiffs should never, ever be allowed to have access to your home without a warrant and the Police present. Yet the Gummint want to allow them. F*ckwits the lot of them.It was from a debt collection agency on behalf of United Utilities chasing a degt of £17.30. I rang them and told them the bloke doesn't, and never has lived at our address. They agreed to remove the address from their records. Then yesterday I get another letter for the mystery bloke, stating that if the bill isn't paid in 7 days we will be receiving a visit from a "field Representative" (read thick as f
k gorilla type). So I rang them again and b
ked them for being so thick s to not get the right address. And have b
ked them by fax so hopefully they will now have the message.How can they send letter threatening people with visits to chase up debt when they are too f
king stupid to even get the right address. Even United Utilities have no record of the debt! My wife is 6 months pregnant and would have been rather worried and upset if the mentioned representative turned up at our door!! They make my piss boil, utter f
king retarded
s the lot of them.And breath, I think I need to go for a lunch time pint to calm down!

Zod said:
I wrote this letter in similar circumstances last year. It worked.
I will use that if they are daft enough to contact me again!my letter said:
f
kwit Receivable Services plc
FAO: [CEO]
By fax: -
[supposed creditor] – Your letter of [date], Reference [f
kwit 1]
Dear Sir,
You have written twice to x, at my address. He does not live at my address.
I have no time to waste in providing you with evidence, so I suggest you get up to date instructions from your client.
Do not write to me or to x at the above address again, unless to confirm there is no debt or apologise. Any further demand letters may be considered to be harassment and may be reported to the police with a view to your criminal prosecution under s1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1998, s85 of the Postal Services Act 2000, s127 of the Communications Act 2003, and/or s2 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 - this last with a view to the court issuing a Restraining Order against you. Additionally, civil action may be taken against you personally and your employer to cease and desist and for the recovery of all costs, together with a substantial payment in compensation for the mental pain and suffering caused.
Any action commenced by you will be defended and, given there is no debt, you will lose. You may also be pursued for defamation.
I expect that you will understand the seriousness of this matter and will instruct your employees accordingly without delay.
Yours faithfully,
[Me]
kwit Receivable Services plcFAO: [CEO]
By fax: -
[supposed creditor] – Your letter of [date], Reference [f
kwit 1]Dear Sir,
You have written twice to x, at my address. He does not live at my address.
I have no time to waste in providing you with evidence, so I suggest you get up to date instructions from your client.
Do not write to me or to x at the above address again, unless to confirm there is no debt or apologise. Any further demand letters may be considered to be harassment and may be reported to the police with a view to your criminal prosecution under s1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1998, s85 of the Postal Services Act 2000, s127 of the Communications Act 2003, and/or s2 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 - this last with a view to the court issuing a Restraining Order against you. Additionally, civil action may be taken against you personally and your employer to cease and desist and for the recovery of all costs, together with a substantial payment in compensation for the mental pain and suffering caused.
Any action commenced by you will be defended and, given there is no debt, you will lose. You may also be pursued for defamation.
I expect that you will understand the seriousness of this matter and will instruct your employees accordingly without delay.
Yours faithfully,
[Me]
Zod said:
I wrote this letter in similar circumstances last year. It worked.
Aww play fair. my letter said:
f
kwit Receivable Services plc
FAO: [CEO]
By fax: -
[supposed creditor] – Your letter of [date], Reference [f
kwit 1]
Dear Sir,
You have written twice to x, at my address. He does not live at my address.
I have no time to waste in providing you with evidence, so I suggest you get up to date instructions from your client.
Do not write to me or to x at the above address again, unless to confirm there is no debt or apologise. Any further demand letters may be considered to be harassment and may be reported to the police with a view to your criminal prosecution under s1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1998, s85 of the Postal Services Act 2000, s127 of the Communications Act 2003, and/or s2 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 - this last with a view to the court issuing a Restraining Order against you. Additionally, civil action may be taken against you personally and your employer to cease and desist and for the recovery of all costs, together with a substantial payment in compensation for the mental pain and suffering caused.
Any action commenced by you will be defended and, given there is no debt, you will lose. You may also be pursued for defamation.
I expect that you will understand the seriousness of this matter and will instruct your employees accordingly without delay.
Yours faithfully,
[Me]
kwit Receivable Services plcFAO: [CEO]
By fax: -
[supposed creditor] – Your letter of [date], Reference [f
kwit 1]Dear Sir,
You have written twice to x, at my address. He does not live at my address.
I have no time to waste in providing you with evidence, so I suggest you get up to date instructions from your client.
Do not write to me or to x at the above address again, unless to confirm there is no debt or apologise. Any further demand letters may be considered to be harassment and may be reported to the police with a view to your criminal prosecution under s1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1998, s85 of the Postal Services Act 2000, s127 of the Communications Act 2003, and/or s2 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 - this last with a view to the court issuing a Restraining Order against you. Additionally, civil action may be taken against you personally and your employer to cease and desist and for the recovery of all costs, together with a substantial payment in compensation for the mental pain and suffering caused.
Any action commenced by you will be defended and, given there is no debt, you will lose. You may also be pursued for defamation.
I expect that you will understand the seriousness of this matter and will instruct your employees accordingly without delay.
Yours faithfully,
[Me]
It's no fun to trot out the legal bits until they have ignored the common sense approach.
Then it's time to explain that you are not exactly green when it comes to the law.
How long did it take your trainee to research and draft that

Edited by Rude-boy on Tuesday 10th February 13:11
Zod said:
I wrote this letter in similar circumstances last year. It worked.
Can I take out a loan for £25k under the name of Fred Bloggs and then send this letter? Just wondering. my letter said:
f
kwit Receivable Services plc
FAO: [CEO]
By fax: -
[supposed creditor] – Your letter of [date], Reference [f
kwit 1]
Dear Sir,
You have written twice to x, at my address. He does not live at my address.
I have no time to waste in providing you with evidence, so I suggest you get up to date instructions from your client.
Do not write to me or to x at the above address again, unless to confirm there is no debt or apologise. Any further demand letters may be considered to be harassment and may be reported to the police with a view to your criminal prosecution under s1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1998, s85 of the Postal Services Act 2000, s127 of the Communications Act 2003, and/or s2 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 - this last with a view to the court issuing a Restraining Order against you. Additionally, civil action may be taken against you personally and your employer to cease and desist and for the recovery of all costs, together with a substantial payment in compensation for the mental pain and suffering caused.
Any action commenced by you will be defended and, given there is no debt, you will lose. You may also be pursued for defamation.
I expect that you will understand the seriousness of this matter and will instruct your employees accordingly without delay.
Yours faithfully,
[Me]
kwit Receivable Services plcFAO: [CEO]
By fax: -
[supposed creditor] – Your letter of [date], Reference [f
kwit 1]Dear Sir,
You have written twice to x, at my address. He does not live at my address.
I have no time to waste in providing you with evidence, so I suggest you get up to date instructions from your client.
Do not write to me or to x at the above address again, unless to confirm there is no debt or apologise. Any further demand letters may be considered to be harassment and may be reported to the police with a view to your criminal prosecution under s1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1998, s85 of the Postal Services Act 2000, s127 of the Communications Act 2003, and/or s2 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 - this last with a view to the court issuing a Restraining Order against you. Additionally, civil action may be taken against you personally and your employer to cease and desist and for the recovery of all costs, together with a substantial payment in compensation for the mental pain and suffering caused.
Any action commenced by you will be defended and, given there is no debt, you will lose. You may also be pursued for defamation.
I expect that you will understand the seriousness of this matter and will instruct your employees accordingly without delay.
Yours faithfully,
[Me]

trooperiziz said:
ShadownINja said:
Can I take out a loan for £25k under the name of Fred Bloggs and then send this letter? Just wondering. 
Better idea would be to take it out in the name Iain H and tell them you live at his house, surely 

ShadownINja said:
Zod said:
I wrote this letter in similar circumstances last year. It worked.
Can I take out a loan for £25k under the name of Fred Bloggs and then send this letter? Just wondering. my letter said:
f
kwit Receivable Services plc
FAO: [CEO]
By fax: -
[supposed creditor] – Your letter of [date], Reference [f
kwit 1]
Dear Sir,
You have written twice to x, at my address. He does not live at my address.
I have no time to waste in providing you with evidence, so I suggest you get up to date instructions from your client.
Do not write to me or to x at the above address again, unless to confirm there is no debt or apologise. Any further demand letters may be considered to be harassment and may be reported to the police with a view to your criminal prosecution under s1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1998, s85 of the Postal Services Act 2000, s127 of the Communications Act 2003, and/or s2 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 - this last with a view to the court issuing a Restraining Order against you. Additionally, civil action may be taken against you personally and your employer to cease and desist and for the recovery of all costs, together with a substantial payment in compensation for the mental pain and suffering caused.
Any action commenced by you will be defended and, given there is no debt, you will lose. You may also be pursued for defamation.
I expect that you will understand the seriousness of this matter and will instruct your employees accordingly without delay.
Yours faithfully,
[Me]
kwit Receivable Services plcFAO: [CEO]
By fax: -
[supposed creditor] – Your letter of [date], Reference [f
kwit 1]Dear Sir,
You have written twice to x, at my address. He does not live at my address.
I have no time to waste in providing you with evidence, so I suggest you get up to date instructions from your client.
Do not write to me or to x at the above address again, unless to confirm there is no debt or apologise. Any further demand letters may be considered to be harassment and may be reported to the police with a view to your criminal prosecution under s1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1998, s85 of the Postal Services Act 2000, s127 of the Communications Act 2003, and/or s2 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 - this last with a view to the court issuing a Restraining Order against you. Additionally, civil action may be taken against you personally and your employer to cease and desist and for the recovery of all costs, together with a substantial payment in compensation for the mental pain and suffering caused.
Any action commenced by you will be defended and, given there is no debt, you will lose. You may also be pursued for defamation.
I expect that you will understand the seriousness of this matter and will instruct your employees accordingly without delay.
Yours faithfully,
[Me]

Its a bit more complicated but its very possible, there was a thread kicking around the P&P today of someones mother having it done in here name.
MaxAndRuby said:
Iain H said:
bloke who has never lived there. The first one looked a bit dodgy as I could see through the window in the envelope that it mentioned legal proceedings, so I opened it.
Highly illegal. You're in trouble.
kING ADDRESS!!!Now about that £25k loan!!
Zod said:
I wrote this letter in similar circumstances last year. It worked.
Me likey... but you know that unless it's a small-time company, your letter will probably never reach the head honcho...my letter said:
f
kwit Receivable Services plc
FAO: [CEO]
By fax: -
[supposed creditor] – Your letter of [date], Reference [f
kwit 1]
Dear Sir,
You have written twice to x, at my address. He does not live at my address.
I have no time to waste in providing you with evidence, so I suggest you get up to date instructions from your client.
Do not write to me or to x at the above address again, unless to confirm there is no debt or apologise. Any further demand letters may be considered to be harassment and may be reported to the police with a view to your criminal prosecution under s1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1998, s85 of the Postal Services Act 2000, s127 of the Communications Act 2003, and/or s2 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 - this last with a view to the court issuing a Restraining Order against you. Additionally, civil action may be taken against you personally and your employer to cease and desist and for the recovery of all costs, together with a substantial payment in compensation for the mental pain and suffering caused.
Any action commenced by you will be defended and, given there is no debt, you will lose. You may also be pursued for defamation.
I expect that you will understand the seriousness of this matter and will instruct your employees accordingly without delay.
Yours faithfully,
[Me]
kwit Receivable Services plcFAO: [CEO]
By fax: -
[supposed creditor] – Your letter of [date], Reference [f
kwit 1]Dear Sir,
You have written twice to x, at my address. He does not live at my address.
I have no time to waste in providing you with evidence, so I suggest you get up to date instructions from your client.
Do not write to me or to x at the above address again, unless to confirm there is no debt or apologise. Any further demand letters may be considered to be harassment and may be reported to the police with a view to your criminal prosecution under s1 of the Malicious Communications Act 1998, s85 of the Postal Services Act 2000, s127 of the Communications Act 2003, and/or s2 of the Protection from Harassment Act 1997 - this last with a view to the court issuing a Restraining Order against you. Additionally, civil action may be taken against you personally and your employer to cease and desist and for the recovery of all costs, together with a substantial payment in compensation for the mental pain and suffering caused.
Any action commenced by you will be defended and, given there is no debt, you will lose. You may also be pursued for defamation.
I expect that you will understand the seriousness of this matter and will instruct your employees accordingly without delay.
Yours faithfully,
[Me]
If you want to push it a step further... is the debt recovery agency a limited company? If so, you can go on the companies house website and order documents on the company, namely the Current Appointments report for a whopping £1, which will list who the Director(s) of the company is/are, and where they live... you can then send said snotty letter to the Director(s) home address(es) threatening them with legal action, and see how they like it...

Edited by -JUT- on Tuesday 10th February 13:34
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