Snot
Author
Discussion

MrMoonyMan

Original Poster:

2,689 posts

240 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
I currently have a cold, not quite the at-deaths-door-full-blown-man-flu but a nasty cold none the less. Think temperature, sore throat, no voice and the epic never ending constant stream of clear gooey slimy liquid.

It just doesn't seem to end, since getting into bed last night I haven't slept more than 5 minutes without the need to sit up and blow yet more of the stuff out of my nose. There is a pile of tissue by the side of my bed similar to that of a 15 yr old boy who's just discovered self pleasure and the Internet.

What the fk is it with this stuff?

Where does it all keep coming from? And how the fk is there so bloody much of it?

Seriously, I'm on my third tissue just writing this. I know the body is almost all water but this is just silly, I must have leaked a third of my bodyweight out of my red raw nose.

And, while I'm on the subject what a crap time to get ill, bloody Valentines day. Nice meal, effort in all the right places and we have to come home early because I've nearly run the restaurant out of tissues. To quote the missus; "there is nothing as unattractive as a snotty horny man" and I kept her awake all night with; cough, sneeze, blow "fk sake" so separate beds are on the cards tonight.

Gah! mad


DrTre

12,957 posts

261 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
MrMoonyMan said:
and I kept her awake all night with; cough, sneeze, blow
Not an entirely wasted night for you then?

Edited by DrTre on Sunday 15th February 13:07

Steamer

14,171 posts

242 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
Have you checked its not your brain melting?

MrMoonyMan

Original Poster:

2,689 posts

240 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
DrTre said:
MrMoonyMan said:
and I kept her awake all night with; cough, sneeze, blow
Not an entirely wasted night for you then?
Ha! I wish, unfortunately for any of that to have taken place I would've needed to stop sneezing for more than 5 minutes so as not to risk kneeing her in the face..headache

Steamer said:
Have you checked its not your brain melting?
I have considered this. Whilst I do not think it is my brain that is melting I fear that it could be the fluid used around the brain leaking out. Which means that if the leak does not stop soon it will start rattling when I move my head from side to side..eek


robinhood21

31,107 posts

261 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
Send the Mrs down the tobacconist to buy some of those filter-tips for hand-rolling cigarettes. One up each nostril - jobs a goodun! smile

Alexj800

5,746 posts

246 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
Use good tissues. The only ones which stop my nose getting red and sore are Kleenex Balsam.

MrMoonyMan

Original Poster:

2,689 posts

240 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
robinhood21 said:
Send the Mrs down the tobacconist to buy some of those filter-tips for hand-rolling cigarettes. One up each nostril - jobs a goodun! smile
Good idea! Since you wrote that I have been sitting here with a piece of rolled up tissue up each nozzle, unfortunately have just removed said tissue it all appears to mount up and the, possible, brain fluid is now leaking out even quicker!

Alexj800 said:
Use good tissues. The only ones which stop my nose getting red and sore are Kleenex Balsam.
Missus is at the shops now getting them thumbup


TUS 373

5,137 posts

310 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
Tampons? Good for stopping any leaks.

sawman

5,166 posts

259 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
heres the sciencey bit:http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/articles/article/science-of-snot/

Vipers

33,496 posts

257 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
sawman said:
heres the sciencey bit:http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/articles/article/science-of-snot/
Very interesting, s'not what I thought it was. laugh


smile

Nolar Dog

8,786 posts

224 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
You leave used tissues by the side of the bed?

That is fking disgusting.

MrMoonyMan

Original Poster:

2,689 posts

240 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
Nolar Dog said:
You leave used tissues by the side of the bed?

That is fking disgusting.
nono I now have a bin biggrin


Also, I have just been given;

1 packet of Soothers
1 packet of Lockets
1 packet of Strepsils
1 packet of Lemsip Max cold + flu drink
1 packet of Lemsip Max cold + flu capsules
1 packet of mansize balmy tissues
& 1 mansize chicken sandwich!

I love my 'nurse'! angel

MrMoonyMan

Original Poster:

2,689 posts

240 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
Vipers said:
sawman said:
heres the sciencey bit:http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/articles/article/science-of-snot/
Very interesting, s'not what I thought it was. laugh


smile
laugh Interesting, so my brain isn't leaking then. But all the stuff coming out has sugar and carbs etc in - yummy! idea

mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

284 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all

Ron Burgundy

3,296 posts

215 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
Are you sure its not cum?

BlueCello

6,225 posts

236 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
It's gross. I had sinusitis just before christmas, and my face was leaking non-stop for a week. It was horrible.

MrMoonyMan

Original Poster:

2,689 posts

240 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
Ron Burgundy said:
Are you sure its not cum?
hurl

Vipers

33,496 posts

257 months

Sunday 15th February 2009
quotequote all
Having had a cold for 8 days, (Jan). so bad I was off work, I can symphtysise with anyone having a stinking cold.

Drives you nuts, strangely enough, this was the first winter I had the Flu jab, and got the worst cold ever................ as you say, where does all the ste come from when you blow your nose.

Still with a week off work, lots time to trawl thorugh PH.

smile


mybrainhurts

90,809 posts

284 months

Monday 16th February 2009
quotequote all
MrMoonyMan said:
To quote the missus; "there is nothing as unattractive as a snotty horny man"
Just thought that was worth quoting....smile


pits

6,704 posts

219 months

Monday 16th February 2009
quotequote all
Vipers said:
sawman said:
heres the sciencey bit:http://www.thenakedscientists.com/HTML/articles/article/science-of-snot/
Very interesting, s'not what I thought it was. laugh


smile
Clearly not, I will have a phlegming good read of that later