The gift money cannot buy
The gift money cannot buy
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Brown and Boris

Original Poster:

11,838 posts

264 months

Monday 16th February 2009
quotequote all

A mutal friend has just sent me pics from my ex-wife's engagement dinner on Valentine's day. She is wearing some gold and net creation, and has put on a few stone. Close ups of her engagement ring too.

She looks like someone has tried to wrap a pig in the sweet wrappers from the penny toffees from a tin a quality street, and adorned it with the best Elizabeth Duke can provide. All in all she looked like a blotchy dinner lady. Hubby to be is a deformed midget (which I knew because I had met him previously and tried to shake his withered hand).

That same evening I was out with the new Mrs B&B and she looked like a million and a half dollars.

Sorry to gloat, but it was an acromonious divorce when she left me 7 years ago with nothing but £39 in the bank and a broken trouser press.

What goes around comes around.

Gloat over.

G'kar

3,728 posts

215 months

Monday 16th February 2009
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But like your Murphys....


hehe

T_Pot

2,542 posts

226 months

Monday 16th February 2009
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glad to see 7 yrs on, your over her and not bitter about it though lol

Shaw Tarse

31,885 posts

232 months

Monday 16th February 2009
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So post pics or a link to her facebook page wink

Spoons

148 posts

234 months

Monday 16th February 2009
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This thread is worthless without ...........;)

Penny-lope

13,645 posts

222 months

Monday 16th February 2009
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Does it really matter what she looks like....your happy now. End of

The future is all that matters

G'kar

3,728 posts

215 months

Monday 16th February 2009
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PH photoshop challenge?

B.J.W

5,873 posts

244 months

Monday 16th February 2009
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She broke your trouser press?!

The bh!

Brown and Boris

Original Poster:

11,838 posts

264 months

Monday 16th February 2009
quotequote all
Shaw Tarse said:
So post pics or a link to her facebook page wink
Tempted, but that might blow out my source!

Now I just need to get one of my kids to marry now she is 'dinner lady woman' so we can all meet up again at the wedding (another reason I have to gloat alone if we are all to be invited).


illmonkey

19,805 posts

227 months

Monday 16th February 2009
quotequote all
B.J.W said:
She broke your trouser press?!

The bh!
Oh, hello Susan. Slight problem. I was a bit bored, so I dismantled my Corby trouser press.

I can't put it back together again. Will that show up on my bill? No? Great, thanks.


Brown and Boris

Original Poster:

11,838 posts

264 months

Monday 16th February 2009
quotequote all
Penny-lope said:
Does it really matter what she looks like....your happy now. End of

The future is all that matters
Are you mad! I don't begrudge her the happiness but an occassional reminder all round that she didn't quite destroy me doesn't hurt.

Crimson Tide

5,037 posts

243 months

Monday 16th February 2009
quotequote all
That'll be me off to look up 'acrimonious'.

Did you fix the trouser press? I thought my Dad was the only person apart from hotel chains to buy one.

KingJeff 4th

7,524 posts

213 months

Monday 16th February 2009
quotequote all
Brown and Boris said:
A mutal friend has just sent me pics from my ex-wife's engagement dinner on Valentine's day. She is wearing some gold and net creation, and has put on a few stone. Close ups of her engagement ring too.

She looks like someone has tried to wrap a pig in the sweet wrappers from the penny toffees from a tin a quality street, and adorned it with the best Elizabeth Duke can provide. All in all she looked like a blotchy dinner lady. Hubby to be is a deformed midget (which I knew because I had met him previously and tried to shake his withered hand).

That same evening I was out with the new Mrs B&B and she looked like a million and a half dollars.

Sorry to gloat, but it was an acromonious divorce when she left me 7 years ago with nothing but £39 in the bank and a broken trouser press.

What goes around comes around.

Gloat over.
Having been in a similar position before (although without the divorce bit)... I can see where your smugness and inner warmth lies.... loving your work.


SpydieNut

5,956 posts

252 months

Monday 16th February 2009
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sure sure, decry her all you want

you know she gave the best head you'll ever have.

rhinochopig

17,932 posts

227 months

Monday 16th February 2009
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So homeless, trouser press tucked under your arm, and £39 in your pocket, you ventured forth with high ambitions and the world your oyster.

Taking that £39, you invested in getting some fliers printed advertising your new start-up business, door to door trouser pressing.

One trouser press quickly turned to two and before you knew it, seven years had passed and you were the CEO of the largest franchised door to door trouser pressing empire the planet had seen.

Sir I salute you bow

Harry Flashman

21,762 posts

271 months

Monday 16th February 2009
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Actually, much as I hate to say this, this is a winner. Ran into my first girlfriend a few years ago. When she left (we were 21) I was devastated. Took me ages to get over her. I had become fat and complacent, she was a beautiful Scandinavian blonde. Who married the guy who took her from me.

I saw her years later. Dowdy and bloated. I was boxing and very fit, with very pretty new girl on my arm.

Childish to feel the way I did? Absolutely. Still felt good.

PD9

2,040 posts

214 months

Monday 16th February 2009
quotequote all
Congrats fella. Glad your happy wink

I have a good friend that was left in a similar situation. Nothing in the bank while his 'missus' withdrew everything and put a deposit on a nice flat. 10 years on he's paid his house and cars and lives happily with his new missus.

Edited by PD9 on Monday 16th February 15:54

G'kar

3,728 posts

215 months

Monday 16th February 2009
quotequote all
Harry Flashman said:
Actually, much as I hate to say this, this is a winner. Ran into my first girlfriend a few years ago. When she left (we were 21) I was devastated. Took me ages to get over her. I had become fat and complacent, she was a beautiful Scandinavian blonde. Who married the guy who took her from me.

I saw her years later. Dowdy and bloated. I was boxing and very fit, with very pretty new girl on my arm.

Childish to feel the way I did? Absolutely. Still felt good.
yes

I often walk new girlfriends past the spot where I disposed of my ex's remains.

Although there is nothing to see, I like to think, wistfully with a smile, on the difference between them now.

It does raise one's spirits to think of her decomposing skull still locked in an everlasting scream.


Nolar Dog

8,786 posts

224 months

Monday 16th February 2009
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OP: Just tell her you still love her. It's ok to be jealous you know.

Ozone

3,102 posts

216 months

Monday 16th February 2009
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Worst 'i hate the fking bh that fking left me and fked up things for me and now i'm glad cos she looks like a right cheap fking we' post

thumbup