Asking questions in hospital
Discussion
Are they allowed to tell next of kin what is going on?
My mother in law has been in hospital for a week, but to be frank she isn't the type to ask doctors and nurses questions. She has had loads of tests (x-rays, ECG's blood tests etc) is on so many tablets she rattles, is swollen like a balloon but has no clue what the test results are. My internet search on the symtoms suggests it is heart failure but Wiki isn't really the place to be self-diagnosing. As she is in her 70's the ward she is on seesm to be geriatric and she is the only one there able to hold a conversation with people alive and present.
My father in law seems to think that if he asks the nurses at visting times they won't be able to tell him anything because either (1) they don't know/care or (2) they are not allowed to tell him. I fear that if Mrs B&B asks and gets some snotty nurse trying to avoid the question she will get thrown out for her reaction.
My mother in law has been in hospital for a week, but to be frank she isn't the type to ask doctors and nurses questions. She has had loads of tests (x-rays, ECG's blood tests etc) is on so many tablets she rattles, is swollen like a balloon but has no clue what the test results are. My internet search on the symtoms suggests it is heart failure but Wiki isn't really the place to be self-diagnosing. As she is in her 70's the ward she is on seesm to be geriatric and she is the only one there able to hold a conversation with people alive and present.
My father in law seems to think that if he asks the nurses at visting times they won't be able to tell him anything because either (1) they don't know/care or (2) they are not allowed to tell him. I fear that if Mrs B&B asks and gets some snotty nurse trying to avoid the question she will get thrown out for her reaction.
Brown and Boris said:
Are they allowed to tell next of kin what is going on?...
From two recent expericences I'd say it depends who you get to speak too.First my 80yo Father broke his leg, he suffers from Addisons so need to be seen by an Addisons specialist but isn't.
The Doctor that saw him changed his Addisions meds and put him on another drug that, we find out later, should not be given to Addisons sufferes.
How is it that we can read the PIL but the Doctor can't.
I spoke to the Sister and told her, she was very grateful for the info and promised to do something about it.
Second, Son 999ed to hospital, PH questioned and good answers so I asked the hospital and found out that Son had been given wrong meds by GP. No follow up, nothing.
HUW JONES said:
"Named nurse" should be able to provide him with a summary.Would then be appropriate time to book an appointment to discuss her case with the Consultant or Specialist registrar looking after her.From what you say sounds like an accurate diagnosis, common things being common.
We have left her with a list of questions tonight, and I wil see what happens tomorrow but that is useful advice about booking a chat with the doctor.The situation really needs someone to take control, the closest relatives can't handle it emotionally so its up to you to step up and get the answers.
You need to be very focussed, very determined, and able to give the impression that if anyone, I mean anyone, cocks up in the care of your nearest and dearest all hell will break loose.
Prepare a list of questions, go in and ask to speak to the doctor in charge, ask your questions and make notes of the answers.
26 years ago my father had a ruptured colon as a result of a tumour and was basically dying, he had been written off, stuck in a side room etc. Luckily my ex wife was a medical rep and found out a few things about the care he should have been getting, like modern antibiotics for instance.
I put on my logical head, asked to see the doctor in charge in a private room, went in, closed the door, had a chat, told him that the oil company I worked for was self insuring, highly litigious, gave free legal cover to its staff and if my father didn't immediately get the expensive intrevenious antibiotoics he needed the hosptal, the doctor, the administration and anyone else I could find would be dragged into court by very expensive lawyers and their shoddy practices exposed.
It also helped that I had, by then, closed the blids and was holding him against the wall by his lapels........
That night my dad was finally on the right drugs and he recovered to rude health for another 18 years , although he now has dementia.
Funnily enough, there must still be a note on his medical records 'cos he still gets absolutely brilliant medical treatment, although I am still there for every hospital appointment.
In short to protect the ones you love you almost have to become the "most demanding family from hell".
Best of luck,
Tony
You need to be very focussed, very determined, and able to give the impression that if anyone, I mean anyone, cocks up in the care of your nearest and dearest all hell will break loose.
Prepare a list of questions, go in and ask to speak to the doctor in charge, ask your questions and make notes of the answers.
26 years ago my father had a ruptured colon as a result of a tumour and was basically dying, he had been written off, stuck in a side room etc. Luckily my ex wife was a medical rep and found out a few things about the care he should have been getting, like modern antibiotics for instance.
I put on my logical head, asked to see the doctor in charge in a private room, went in, closed the door, had a chat, told him that the oil company I worked for was self insuring, highly litigious, gave free legal cover to its staff and if my father didn't immediately get the expensive intrevenious antibiotoics he needed the hosptal, the doctor, the administration and anyone else I could find would be dragged into court by very expensive lawyers and their shoddy practices exposed.
It also helped that I had, by then, closed the blids and was holding him against the wall by his lapels........
That night my dad was finally on the right drugs and he recovered to rude health for another 18 years , although he now has dementia.
Funnily enough, there must still be a note on his medical records 'cos he still gets absolutely brilliant medical treatment, although I am still there for every hospital appointment.
In short to protect the ones you love you almost have to become the "most demanding family from hell".
Best of luck,
Tony
Tony427 said:
The situation really needs someone to take control, the closest relatives can't handle it emotionally so its up to you to step up and get the answers.
You need to be very focussed, very determined, and able to give the impression that if anyone, I mean anyone, cocks up in the care of your nearest and dearest all hell will break loose.
Prepare a list of questions, go in and ask to speak to the doctor in charge, ask your questions and make notes of the answers.
26 years ago my father had a ruptured colon as a result of a tumour and was basically dying, he had been written off, stuck in a side room etc. Luckily my ex wife was a medical rep and found out a few things about the care he should have been getting, like modern antibiotics for instance.
I put on my logical head, asked to see the doctor in charge in a private room, went in, closed the door, had a chat, told him that the oil company I worked for was self insuring, highly litigious, gave free legal cover to its staff and if my father didn't immediately get the expensive intrevenious antibiotoics he needed the hosptal, the doctor, the administration and anyone else I could find would be dragged into court by very expensive lawyers and their shoddy practices exposed.
It also helped that I had, by then, closed the blids and was holding him against the wall by his lapels........
That night my dad was finally on the right drugs and he recovered to rude health for another 18 years , although he now has dementia.
Funnily enough, there must still be a note on his medical records 'cos he still gets absolutely brilliant medical treatment, although I am still there for every hospital appointment.
In short to protect the ones you love you almost have to become the "most demanding family from hell".
Best of luck,
Tony
I think it may be heading this way.You need to be very focussed, very determined, and able to give the impression that if anyone, I mean anyone, cocks up in the care of your nearest and dearest all hell will break loose.
Prepare a list of questions, go in and ask to speak to the doctor in charge, ask your questions and make notes of the answers.
26 years ago my father had a ruptured colon as a result of a tumour and was basically dying, he had been written off, stuck in a side room etc. Luckily my ex wife was a medical rep and found out a few things about the care he should have been getting, like modern antibiotics for instance.
I put on my logical head, asked to see the doctor in charge in a private room, went in, closed the door, had a chat, told him that the oil company I worked for was self insuring, highly litigious, gave free legal cover to its staff and if my father didn't immediately get the expensive intrevenious antibiotoics he needed the hosptal, the doctor, the administration and anyone else I could find would be dragged into court by very expensive lawyers and their shoddy practices exposed.
It also helped that I had, by then, closed the blids and was holding him against the wall by his lapels........
That night my dad was finally on the right drugs and he recovered to rude health for another 18 years , although he now has dementia.
Funnily enough, there must still be a note on his medical records 'cos he still gets absolutely brilliant medical treatment, although I am still there for every hospital appointment.
In short to protect the ones you love you almost have to become the "most demanding family from hell".
Best of luck,
Tony
Get your M-i-L to ensure that they mark on her records that the hospital can talk to you, your misses or whoever you want them to be able to speak to. At least that way you don't get into the "I'm sorry I can't tell you anything" routine. I've got my Dad quite well trained to do that whenever he has to go in.
Hope it all works out OK
Hope it all works out OK
Brown and Boris said:
Are they allowed to tell next of kin what is going on?
My mother in law has been in hospital for a week, but to be frank she isn't the type to ask doctors and nurses questions. She has had loads of tests (x-rays, ECG's blood tests etc) is on so many tablets she rattles, is swollen like a balloon but has no clue what the test results are. My internet search on the symtoms suggests it is heart failure but Wiki isn't really the place to be self-diagnosing. As she is in her 70's the ward she is on seesm to be geriatric and she is the only one there able to hold a conversation with people alive and present.
My father in law seems to think that if he asks the nurses at visting times they won't be able to tell him anything because either (1) they don't know/care or (2) they are not allowed to tell him. I fear that if Mrs B&B asks and gets some snotty nurse trying to avoid the question she will get thrown out for her reaction.
My wife is an ex- nurse (she let her registration lapse)My mother in law has been in hospital for a week, but to be frank she isn't the type to ask doctors and nurses questions. She has had loads of tests (x-rays, ECG's blood tests etc) is on so many tablets she rattles, is swollen like a balloon but has no clue what the test results are. My internet search on the symtoms suggests it is heart failure but Wiki isn't really the place to be self-diagnosing. As she is in her 70's the ward she is on seesm to be geriatric and she is the only one there able to hold a conversation with people alive and present.
My father in law seems to think that if he asks the nurses at visting times they won't be able to tell him anything because either (1) they don't know/care or (2) they are not allowed to tell him. I fear that if Mrs B&B asks and gets some snotty nurse trying to avoid the question she will get thrown out for her reaction.
She asks very detailed questions about the care of loved ones. When my gran (RIP) had a stroke, she was the only one who was able to get the information my dad wanted. She also worked for the stroke association and got paid to ask those questions on families behalf.
Your FiL should ask. If he won't then YOU should. I doubt that they'll say no.
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