Things that never happen in movies
Discussion
Going on from the cliche thread, those normal day to day occurences/annoyances that never seem to happen in films.
The hero getting the sleeve of his dressing gown caught on a door handle so that he wheels around and spills his cup of tea.
Or, carryng everything in the righ hand and the keys to the house is in the right hand pocket so you have to dump everything and get the keys out.
The hero getting the sleeve of his dressing gown caught on a door handle so that he wheels around and spills his cup of tea.
Or, carryng everything in the righ hand and the keys to the house is in the right hand pocket so you have to dump everything and get the keys out.
Steve Evil said:
Ok it's TV, but you never see Jack Bauer charging his mobile, taking a dump or eating anything.
He's a machine!
That always riled me!He's a machine!
That and all the other 'incidental diversions' like havin gto stop for fuel, or go to the cash point, do the laundry, shift through the ten tonnes of s
t masquerading as post when you get home of an evening...CoolC said:
forsure said:
Coronation St.: Always litter free and always somewhere to park.
Going slightly OT, but everyone in Coronation street has a job within a two minute walk of their front door.The jiffle king said:
No-one ever seems to clean their teeth....
You find the world's most beautiful lady, wine and dine her, drink lots, take her back to her place, fall on the bed, make love, fall asleep in each others arms, wake up.... and then make love again.. with bad breath!!!!
Not a problem if she is facing away from youYou find the world's most beautiful lady, wine and dine her, drink lots, take her back to her place, fall on the bed, make love, fall asleep in each others arms, wake up.... and then make love again.. with bad breath!!!!

I could be alone on this one....but it follows on from the cleaning teeth example...
male and female lead characters wake up next to each other the morning after the night before, inches from each other's gorgeous faces they chat romanticly and then commence sucking eachother's mouths off...
err...a) how come their faces aren't puffy..no drool or sleep in their eyes
b)how can they talk so close? their breath must reek!...
c) and then to get stuck in after THAT
male and female lead characters wake up next to each other the morning after the night before, inches from each other's gorgeous faces they chat romanticly and then commence sucking eachother's mouths off...
err...a) how come their faces aren't puffy..no drool or sleep in their eyes
b)how can they talk so close? their breath must reek!...
c) and then to get stuck in after THAT
Reloading. Thats a bugbear of mine (not that I use guns lol).
Watched 'The Kingdom' the other night and a chap was shooting everyone out of a 4x4 truck. He had an M4 I think but it must have been belt fed! He didn't really reload at all.
Another thing in films related to guns is the accuracy of the trusty pump action shotgun. You see people running around with them picking people off from 100's metres away with a shotgun??
This leads nicely on to explosions. I love the way things explode and people just seem to fall over/get thrown. There's no removal of limbs or clothing or ear trauma etc.
STD's. How come there is load of shagging but nobody has to take 5 mins to go to the clinic for a 'scrape'. Shudder!
Key fumbling and falling over. How come people have real difficulty opening doors sometimes with keys. And why do people always fall over when they are being chased by an axe wielding greenpeace fanatic?
Eating and s
tting have been mentioned above. But what about illness? 'Sorry mate, can't chase them terrorists today, have a migraine'!
Speed cameras and ANPR. Never seen any of these in a film.
etc etc
Watched 'The Kingdom' the other night and a chap was shooting everyone out of a 4x4 truck. He had an M4 I think but it must have been belt fed! He didn't really reload at all.
Another thing in films related to guns is the accuracy of the trusty pump action shotgun. You see people running around with them picking people off from 100's metres away with a shotgun??
This leads nicely on to explosions. I love the way things explode and people just seem to fall over/get thrown. There's no removal of limbs or clothing or ear trauma etc.
STD's. How come there is load of shagging but nobody has to take 5 mins to go to the clinic for a 'scrape'. Shudder!
Key fumbling and falling over. How come people have real difficulty opening doors sometimes with keys. And why do people always fall over when they are being chased by an axe wielding greenpeace fanatic?
Eating and s
tting have been mentioned above. But what about illness? 'Sorry mate, can't chase them terrorists today, have a migraine'!Speed cameras and ANPR. Never seen any of these in a film.
etc etc
Edited by funkyrobot on Friday 27th February 09:47
Agoogy said:
I could be alone on this one....but it follows on from the cleaning teeth example...
male and female lead characters wake up next to each other the morning after the night before, inches from each other's gorgeous faces they chat romanticly and then commence sucking eachother's mouths off...
err...a) how come their faces aren't puffy..no drool or sleep in their eyes
b)how can they talk so close? their breath must reek!...
c) and then to get stuck in after THAT
They never seem to need a bit of tissue after making the beast with two backs either. And nobody ever complains about the wet patch!male and female lead characters wake up next to each other the morning after the night before, inches from each other's gorgeous faces they chat romanticly and then commence sucking eachother's mouths off...
err...a) how come their faces aren't puffy..no drool or sleep in their eyes
b)how can they talk so close? their breath must reek!...
c) and then to get stuck in after THAT
Also, you never hear the gf or wife of the hero moan about him leaving the toilet seat up.
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