Finding contents of deceased fathers will

[andygo]

My sister, one of 4 siblings has been the only one to have viewed my late dads will. He died nearly 8 years ago.

My mum has always been very evasive and secretive about it, but our sister has also been very secretive about it, and has recently been appointed as executor of my mum's will. That snippett only came out inadvertently in a slanging match she instigated against my brother who never says boo to a goose, never mind her.

This goes against a long standing understanding that my brother would be joint executor, which as a past building society manager, made good sense to all..

She has also taken it upon herself to change the locks at mums house, install a safe and remove all financial docs to her house.

Mum is still in good health, has a full set of marbles, but we suspect there are shady goings on, instigated by my massively manipulative sister who we all feel is bullying Mum into making these strange decisions. They are all transmitted to us (eventually) prefaced by the words, 'It's mum's express wish that...'

Don't want to get into history, but she has had parania problems in the past.

So how do we prevent her exerting undue influence on Mum, and how do we get to view Dad's will?

We are certainly not money grabbing, It's just that the deal with Dad was everything should be shared equally, and the way she is going she is clearly angling for the lot.

[AlexKP]

Oh dear....

Wills often seem to cause more harm than good amongst families.

I think you all need to meet with your sister collectively and ask her straight.

[youngsyr]

It's amazing what people will do when it comes to inheritence, isn't it?

My Mum's aunt passed away a couple of years ago and the actions of another family member read like something out of a crime novel, only she wasn't caught and has so far successfully "stolen" severl hundred thousand pounds from the estate.

[Andy_GSA]

Assuming that probate has been granted IIRC a copy of the original will and grant of probate can be obtained from the Probate Registry - www.hmcs.gov.uk

[s2art]

If your mother is still sharp, then why not just talk to her about it?

[andygo]

We've tried asking Mum straight, but apparently it's nothing to do with us....

She will tell us one thing (eg what she thinks we want to hear) but facts turn out differently, and always in sisters favour. Latest thing is (bearing in mind she has a part time job..) she turns up in a brand new Z4 beemer instead of her old beat up Astra. Her son is due to get mums 4 year old Corsa now he's 17.

Good luck to them we all say, but at least be fair. She is trying to get mum to sell her £300k bungalow and move 50 miles away and live with her in a new house that presumably Mum will put a chunk into, one way or another.

Sister lives about a mile away from Mum at present, (As we all do) so why she wants to move 50 miles away is a mystery - no other rels or history there.

Edited by andygo on Wednesday 4th March 17:56

[Scamper]

My mother in law did something similar and cheated her brothers out of their mothers estate. Nasty business, broke the family apart and the brothers wont acknowledge her existence....Best advice is to get everyone together (whilst your mother is still around) and look at the will. After all if your sister can view it you and your other siblings should do as well.

Do it now, before its too late.....

[Oi_Oi_Savaloy]

anonymous said:

[redacted]

I agree with this; a joint effort from all of you (including your mum too) to force the issue is the only way forward.

Basically it's time for some straight talking - don't avoid the issue - tackle it head on. I'm sure there's a legal route to finding out but I can't advise on that (not a lawyer).

It might quite a fraught conversation/experience for all but I'd rather that than not find out what exactly is going on. Good luck.

[Sheets Tabuer]

When I hear about wills I wonder why more people don't leave the fecking lot to charity.

So many people have told me stories like this it makes me wonder if every family has a devious money grabber that will exploit elderly relatives.

[NDA]

Andy_GSA said:

Assuming that probate has been granted IIRC a copy of the original will and grant of probate can be obtained from the Probate Registry - www.hmcs.gov.uk

What he said.

[andygo]

We did actually arrange a meeting with sister about 2 months ago to sort it all out.

She didn't arrive. When questioned, she felt there was no point so didn't appear.....

Pity really as we had all turned up at Mum's to sort it out. Even more of a pity as she didn't bother to tell anyone she wasn't turning up either.

[NDA]

Sheets Tabuer said:

When I hear about wills I wonder why more people don't leave the fecking lot to charity.

So many people have told me stories like this it makes me wonder if every family has a devious money grabber that will exploit elderly relatives.

I think every family has a devious money grabber that will exploit elderly relatives - I don't know of one that doesn't. Mine included.

To the OP, it seems highly likely (subject to Probate having been granted) that you can get a copy of the Will and, almost literally, claim what's yours. Go for it, you don't need your sister to be involved.

[ali_kat]

andygo said:

We did actually arrange a meeting with sister about 2 months ago to sort it all out.

She didn't arrive. When questioned, she felt there was no point so didn't appear.....

Pity really as we had all turned up at Mum's to sort it out. Even more of a pity as she didn't bother to tell anyone she wasn't turning up either.

So try again, get your Mum involved in organising it.

Point out to your Mum that this has the potential for a family feud to start and none of 'you' want that, but your sister's attitude suggests that she does.

Or all go round when you all know she will be there...

If the rest of the family are all singing from the same page, surely your Mum will listen?

[oddman]

andygo said:

We are certainly not money grabbing, It's just that the deal with Dad was everything should be shared equally, and the way she is going she is clearly angling for the lot.

IANAL

but I'm asked by lawyers to give medical expert opinion on testamentary capacity.

Your story is almost a stereotype of the sort of thing lawyers come across. Isolating the elderly person from other's influence is almost diagnostic as is secrecy.

You really need to ask yourself what you want out of this. It sounds like you're resigned to being swindled (probably very realistic). I could understand if, on principle you want to see your Dad's wishes enacted (it's an abuse of his trust if they're not) but you need the 100% support of your other siblings.

Another angle might be to seek advice through Help the Aged or other such charity with a general enquiry about 'financial abuse'. My guess is your sister is depleting the coffers before her will has the opportunity to divide the estate equally.

Good luck

T

edited to remove rogue apostrophe

Edited by oddman on Wednesday 4th March 18:56

[okgo]

NDA said:

Sheets Tabuer said:

When I hear about wills I wonder why more people don't leave the fecking lot to charity.

So many people have told me stories like this it makes me wonder if every family has a devious money grabber that will exploit elderly relatives.

I think every family has a devious money grabber that will exploit elderly relatives - I don't know of one that doesn't. Mine included.

To the OP, it seems highly likely (subject to Probate having been granted) that you can get a copy of the Will and, almost literally, claim what's yours. Go for it, you don't need your sister to be involved.

This is what my father did after becoming suspicious about no mention of anything 1 year after his father died. Turned out he didn't leave him anything anyway, apart from a clarinet , but the point is you can buy the will for £20 oddd as said above to view it!

[StevieBee]

We were facing this same issue many years ago but thankfully, was fully resolved.

All wills are, as a matter of course, in the public domain. Anyone can gain access to any will for a small fee as long as it is identified and located. If your sister is refusing access to the will, she is committing a criminal offence.

It’s unlikely that the police will want to get involved but try anyway. Having a copper on the door may knock a bit of sense into her.

A solicitor’s letter may have the same effect but will cost you.

Best course of action may be to drop a line to these people:

The Probate Department of the Principal Registry of the Family Division, First Avenue House, 42– 49 High Holborn, London, WC1V 6NP

They will likely direct you to the local registrar or council who will then take up the case.

Good luck.

[Y2K RS]

sounds very much like when your dad passed away the contents of his will were not how your sister and mum wanted the estate divided, and colluded to not share the estate out correctly and now your sister is excerting some influence on your guilt ridden mum to collect the lot when she also passes.

Explains why your mum wont go into detail, maybe she regrets what happened but feels to embroiled in your sisters actions past and present to be able to come clean

First port of call I would say is a copy of your dads will to see if this is true

[Simpo Two]

Y2K RS said:

sounds very much like when your dad passed away the contents of his will were not how your sister and mum wanted the estate divided, and colluded to not share the estate out correctly and now your sister is excerting some influence on your guilt ridden mum to collect the lot when she also passes.

Explains why your mum wont go into detail, maybe she regrets what happened but feels to embroiled in your sisters actions past and present to be able to come clean

First port of call I would say is a copy of your dads will to see if this is true

What he said.

But wasn't a solicitor involved when the first will was executed/shared out?

[bigandclever]

andygo said:

We did actually arrange a meeting with sister about 2 months ago to sort it all out.

She didn't arrive. When questioned, she felt there was no point so didn't appear.....

Pity really as we had all turned up at Mum's to sort it out. Even more of a pity as she didn't bother to tell anyone she wasn't turning up either.

and yet...

andygo said:

Sister lives about a mile away from Mum at present, (As we all do)

Can't be that hard to get face to face, can it?

[Jasandjules]

A will is a public document. The wills and probate office type people should be able to find a copy??