Neighbour 'dispute'
Discussion
Picture the scene
I live in a cul-de-sac of flats/maisonettes and was out the other night having a smoke in front of my house.
When I got outside, I heard an almighty argument between the neighbour and his Mrs in their (first floor) flat. The flat is all double-glazed but I could virtually hear it word-for-word.
He also doesn't have curtains, only a blind, and it wasn't fully shut so I could fairly clearly see them in the flat shouting at each other.
I should point out that I've spoken to the bloke a few times - he seems a really nice chap, friendly, always says hello when I see him, helped me jump start the car once, etc
What pricked my ears up first was the fact that they were shouting at each other so loudly. Like really screaming at each other. I've never heard this from their flat before.
What then made me pay attention more was when I heard him shout
"I'm gonna smash your f
king face in!"
This concerned me a little, obviously. She was giving as good as she got in the shouting stakes but when one hears that you immediately pay more attention.
There then looked to be a bit of a mini-scuffle - I couldn't see exactly what.
What then really made me pay attention was him standing over what looked like his sofa, drawing his fist back above and behind his shoulder as if he was going to plant one on her.
I could quite clearly see him stop himself before he hit her and then he started hitting things around the house a bit before the argument died down.
I went back in my own flat then and went back out later to hear no more activity.
What would you have done?
I know that if I'd seen him hit her through the window I'd have done something - either knocking on his door or calling the Plod, not sure which.
I still couldn't help part of me thinking I should have done something at the time but then we've all had arguments with the OH and if I was shouting at the OH I wouldn't be in the mood for someone knocking on the door interfering. But then I have never, and would never, even think about hitting the OH. Under any circumstances.
Plus, you don't know what happens behind closed doors. She sounded like she was giving as good as she was getting and didn't sound the type to take a beating and let him get away with it but you just never know...
Discuss.
I live in a cul-de-sac of flats/maisonettes and was out the other night having a smoke in front of my house.
When I got outside, I heard an almighty argument between the neighbour and his Mrs in their (first floor) flat. The flat is all double-glazed but I could virtually hear it word-for-word.
He also doesn't have curtains, only a blind, and it wasn't fully shut so I could fairly clearly see them in the flat shouting at each other.
I should point out that I've spoken to the bloke a few times - he seems a really nice chap, friendly, always says hello when I see him, helped me jump start the car once, etc
What pricked my ears up first was the fact that they were shouting at each other so loudly. Like really screaming at each other. I've never heard this from their flat before.
What then made me pay attention more was when I heard him shout
"I'm gonna smash your f
king face in!"This concerned me a little, obviously. She was giving as good as she got in the shouting stakes but when one hears that you immediately pay more attention.
There then looked to be a bit of a mini-scuffle - I couldn't see exactly what.
What then really made me pay attention was him standing over what looked like his sofa, drawing his fist back above and behind his shoulder as if he was going to plant one on her.
I could quite clearly see him stop himself before he hit her and then he started hitting things around the house a bit before the argument died down.
I went back in my own flat then and went back out later to hear no more activity.
What would you have done?
I know that if I'd seen him hit her through the window I'd have done something - either knocking on his door or calling the Plod, not sure which.
I still couldn't help part of me thinking I should have done something at the time but then we've all had arguments with the OH and if I was shouting at the OH I wouldn't be in the mood for someone knocking on the door interfering. But then I have never, and would never, even think about hitting the OH. Under any circumstances.
Plus, you don't know what happens behind closed doors. She sounded like she was giving as good as she was getting and didn't sound the type to take a beating and let him get away with it but you just never know...
Discuss.
A really difficult one.
If you heard a woman being beaten in a neighbouring property - you'd simply want to (maybe even have to) intervene. But as to 'should you', that's very difficult. You're opening a huge can of worms.
Can you befriend the female neighbour when he's not around? Just see how she is?
Tough one and no easy answers. I'd be interested to hear the view of a PH lady...
would have left it. if he'd hit her then it would be different, but everyone says/does things in an argument they don't mean or won't go through with it.
you are on the outside looking in, this may be a 'one off' and you'd look a berk calling the cops over a tiff. if they were behaving like this every day and/or you saw evidence he hit her then its different, but on the evidence presented i'd say just leave it.
you are on the outside looking in, this may be a 'one off' and you'd look a berk calling the cops over a tiff. if they were behaving like this every day and/or you saw evidence he hit her then its different, but on the evidence presented i'd say just leave it.
The bloke didn't hit her despite being in a towering rage, so (in my zero experience) I suspect he never has or will. Do they argue a lot?
One thing I *do* know is that intervening in domestics - even where the woman *is* getting a beating - can often end up with the bloke turning on the would-be rescuer and giving them a good hiding while the woman eggs them on
One thing I *do* know is that intervening in domestics - even where the woman *is* getting a beating - can often end up with the bloke turning on the would-be rescuer and giving them a good hiding while the woman eggs them on
eccles said:
Muzzer said:
Discuss.
Do we have to? 
I'll do you an IOU for the click if it makes you feel better
Orb the Impaler said:
Do they argue a lot?
Not to my knowledge. But I've only recently starting smoking outside so it's only in the last week that I've had an opportunity to hear.It certainly wasn't a 'tiff' This was a full blown, shouting in each other's face row.
I have only ever physically seen her once or twice before. I'm only 95% sure she even lives there full time. I'm out all day at work and then in the flat/out in the evening. I don't have a garden or anything so the only times I spend anytime outside is when I'm cleaning the car, leaving or arriving or (in the last week) sparking up.
I guess it's a hindsight thing - if you call the Law and they laugh them away you feel a berk. If you do nothing and she's getting seven shades beaten out of her you feel guilty. There's no real way of finding out.
I'm pretty comfortable with doing nothing at the minute, I was just curious as to what other PHers would have done..
If they argue like that they'll break up soon enough if either one of them has any sense.
She clearly has a talent for pushing the guy's buttons to an unacceptable degree.
He clearly has trouble containing his destructive emotions properly. It is good that he succeeded in stopping himself from physically assaulting her, of course, but even to get as far as thinking about it doesn't bode well.
Of course - they may love one another deeply.
Luckily, until you see her exit the house with a shiner, it's their problem.
She clearly has a talent for pushing the guy's buttons to an unacceptable degree.
He clearly has trouble containing his destructive emotions properly. It is good that he succeeded in stopping himself from physically assaulting her, of course, but even to get as far as thinking about it doesn't bode well.
Of course - they may love one another deeply.
Luckily, until you see her exit the house with a shiner, it's their problem.
I once stopped a guy who was kicking seven shades out of his wife/woman in Minehaed, I told him to stop and when he took a swing at me that was when I decked him. The woman jumped up covered in blood and started to attack me "I am alright he loves me" she screams, left them too it.
I would walk away from your case as nothing seemed to have happened except a guy was driven to the precipise and walked back.
I would walk away from your case as nothing seemed to have happened except a guy was driven to the precipise and walked back.
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