"Sir...That is not a sports car" [Part 1]
Discussion
There I was. Sat down. Bored. A mate, called Matt, decided "we should go down the new Ferrari garage and try to blag a test drive" 
.
"Interesting idea" methinks. However, there was no chance in hell that we would get a testdrive. "I wouldnt give me a testdrive in a VX, nevermind a fezza!" i thought to myself
Hmmm. What was needed was a change of Character! We went down to the joke/porn shop in town (by Picadilly gardens if any of you dirty
wish to visit...
) and bought a dodgy monacle. We also needed a flatcap and some BIG rubber bands. We managed to buy the bands at woolies 
and a dodgy/semi-stylish/shite flatcap at burtons (or was it topman).
Total expense so far: about £15
Right. We were set. I put a tea towel around my head and secured it with the bands. Matt, placed the monacle on his eye and placed the cap on his 'ead. Have you guessed? Yes! I WAS going to be a sheik and Matt was to be an aristocrat. Both were fabulously wealthy and ready to buy Fezzas. The Accents () were dodgy to say the least, but i did manage a dodgy indian accent and occassionaly broke into RP.
We rolled up to the dealer and stepped inside. We looked around for about 00000.5 seconds when we heard somebody calling. Here is what was said:
FerrariMan: Good morning Gentleman, How may i help you today?
Drag/Sheik: eeergh....hello. My name is Sheik rattlun roll () and he is esteemed friend Lord Nathaniel.
Matt/Nathaniel: How do you do? (in the worst posh accent ever imagined)
FM: ...right...erm...ok. How can i help you...
D/S: Sheik rattlun roll
FM: Yes.
D/S: (breaking into RP). One would like to purrrrchase an Enzo or some other lamborghini.
M/N: Here, here!
FM: (unable to keep a straight face) im sorry...sir...we do not have and neither are they easily available.
M/N: What are you trying to tell us?
D/S: please...ermmmm...speak slowly. english not so good. but have lot oil. What about other ferrari?
FM: Come on lads, you've had your fun, clear off!
M/N: (adjusting his monacle) Dear Me! I have never come across such bile. Stand-off young man and please call your superiors!
FM: (getting pissed off) Do you have the funds to purchase a car from us sir?
D/S: (pointing to the front end of El 'Beast through the back) There is your deposit, albeit a small one
##And this is where the crux of the matter is##
M/N: Tis a fine english sports car
FM: "Sir...That is not a sports car"
If i was wearing the monacle it would have fallen out
D/S: Excuse me?
FM: Dont get me wrong, its a lovely little car, but a sports car? i think probably not.
D/S:
(slightly offended) Ahhh, you must be one of those special males...you know? those without testicals
FM: Right. Out now (starts gesticulating towards the door quite aggressively)
M/N: (as we were being pushed out) How many hounds may one fit in the back of an Enzo?
And that was that.
So. Does he have a point? Dont get me wrong, i have never been under the illusion that the elise is a supercar, however, it IS a "sports car" isnt it?
Perhaps this was said out of anger etc especially as we were pissing him off, or perhaps he has little knowledge of cars outside of ferraris. If so, is that the image the elise gives out? (sort of like an MGF/hair-dresser car?)
What is a "sports car" anyway? Can a rover engined mongrel qualify? Yes we have a new style chassis and immense cornering abilites, but is that enough? What about raw power? Do the new yota cars mean our k-series beltas are no longer "sports cars" or even special?
At the end of the day nobody cares, but this is something we can talk about
Is the elise a sports car, and if so why?
Vent away my little venting minions from ventville, vent-ice.
. "Interesting idea" methinks. However, there was no chance in hell that we would get a testdrive. "I wouldnt give me a testdrive in a VX, nevermind a fezza!" i thought to myself
Hmmm. What was needed was a change of Character! We went down to the joke/porn shop in town (by Picadilly gardens if any of you dirty
wish to visit...) and bought a dodgy monacle. We also needed a flatcap and some BIG rubber bands. We managed to buy the bands at woolies and a dodgy/semi-stylish/shite flatcap at burtons (or was it topman). Total expense so far: about £15
Right. We were set. I put a tea towel around my head and secured it with the bands. Matt, placed the monacle on his eye and placed the cap on his 'ead. Have you guessed? Yes! I WAS going to be a sheik and Matt was to be an aristocrat. Both were fabulously wealthy and ready to buy Fezzas. The Accents (
) were dodgy to say the least, but i did manage a dodgy indian accent and occassionaly broke into RP. We rolled up to the dealer and stepped inside. We looked around for about 00000.5 seconds when we heard somebody calling. Here is what was said:
FerrariMan: Good morning Gentleman, How may i help you today?
Drag/Sheik: eeergh....hello. My name is Sheik rattlun roll (
) and he is esteemed friend Lord Nathaniel. Matt/Nathaniel: How do you do? (in the worst posh accent ever imagined)
FM: ...right...erm...ok. How can i help you...
D/S: Sheik rattlun roll
FM: Yes.
D/S: (breaking into RP). One would like to purrrrchase an Enzo or some other lamborghini.
M/N: Here, here!
FM: (unable to keep a straight face) im sorry...sir...we do not have and neither are they easily available.
M/N: What are you trying to tell us?
D/S: please...ermmmm...speak slowly. english not so good. but have lot oil. What about other ferrari?
FM: Come on lads, you've had your fun, clear off!
M/N: (adjusting his monacle) Dear Me! I have never come across such bile. Stand-off young man and please call your superiors!
FM: (getting pissed off) Do you have the funds to purchase a car from us sir?
D/S: (pointing to the front end of El 'Beast through the back) There is your deposit, albeit a small one
##And this is where the crux of the matter is##
M/N: Tis a fine english sports car
FM: "Sir...That is not a sports car"
If i was wearing the monacle it would have fallen out
D/S: Excuse me?
FM: Dont get me wrong, its a lovely little car, but a sports car? i think probably not.
D/S:
(slightly offended) Ahhh, you must be one of those special males...you know? those without testicals FM: Right. Out now (starts gesticulating towards the door quite aggressively)
M/N: (as we were being pushed out) How many hounds may one fit in the back of an Enzo?
And that was that.
So. Does he have a point? Dont get me wrong, i have never been under the illusion that the elise is a supercar, however, it IS a "sports car" isnt it?
Perhaps this was said out of anger etc especially as we were pissing him off, or perhaps he has little knowledge of cars outside of ferraris. If so, is that the image the elise gives out? (sort of like an MGF/hair-dresser car?)
What is a "sports car" anyway? Can a rover engined mongrel qualify? Yes we have a new style chassis and immense cornering abilites, but is that enough? What about raw power? Do the new yota cars mean our k-series beltas are no longer "sports cars" or even special?
At the end of the day nobody cares, but this is something we can talk about
Is the elise a sports car, and if so why?
Vent away my little venting minions from ventville, vent-ice.
Heh. Sounds like fun.
But the Elise is a sports car. Totally different principles and standards to a Ferrari, but a sports car nonetheless. Go to any track day, and you see more Elises than Fezzas going round.
Oh, and you could argue that the majority of Ferraris are not sports cars but Grand Tourers. They're certainly used as such, in my opinion.
But the Elise is a sports car. Totally different principles and standards to a Ferrari, but a sports car nonetheless. Go to any track day, and you see more Elises than Fezzas going round.
Oh, and you could argue that the majority of Ferraris are not sports cars but Grand Tourers. They're certainly used as such, in my opinion.
Fully agree with Bonce on this one. The Elise is CERATINLY a sports car. I can't think of much else that would qualify more as one. As for Ferraris, I think that the majority of them are bought for one of two reasons. 1 Penis extension, 2 Status symbol. (I hope the old man isnt reading this!!)
The only person I have ever spoken to who has tracked a Ferrari regularly said that within the first 2 months he had ben through 3 gearboxes. It may have been just a dog, but he went straight back to Porkers after that.
The sales blokes reaction is far more likely to be based on the fact that you dared to step into his little bubble existance where his is king (without actually ever having owned one of his products) simply to take the piss. At the end of the day, you are happy that you have a fantastic SPORTS CAR and he is happy flogging red fanny magnets (well, red footballs wives/boyfriends magnets)
PS Morning Drag. Glad to have you back!
>> Edited by skinner on Wednesday 28th July 01:29
The only person I have ever spoken to who has tracked a Ferrari regularly said that within the first 2 months he had ben through 3 gearboxes. It may have been just a dog, but he went straight back to Porkers after that.
The sales blokes reaction is far more likely to be based on the fact that you dared to step into his little bubble existance where his is king (without actually ever having owned one of his products) simply to take the piss. At the end of the day, you are happy that you have a fantastic SPORTS CAR and he is happy flogging red fanny magnets (well, red footballs wives/boyfriends magnets)
PS Morning Drag. Glad to have you back!
>> Edited by skinner on Wednesday 28th July 01:29
The Elise defines the sports car! What was this twat on about!
And bonce beat me to saying;
Sounds like another obnoxious sales man that didnt really understand cars.
BTW: That sounds like excellent fun!
>> Edited by DustyC on Wednesday 28th July 09:03
And bonce beat me to saying;
Bonce said:
Oh, and you could argue that the majority of Ferraris are not sports cars but Grand Tourers. They're certainly used as such, in my opinion.
Sounds like another obnoxious sales man that didnt really understand cars.
BTW: That sounds like excellent fun!
>> Edited by DustyC on Wednesday 28th July 09:03
Lol....very funny.... but if you look in the dictionary under "sports car" the Elise would be the definition, no doubt.... Ferrari make sports cars (355, 328GTS etc) they make GTs (456, 550 575 etc) and make supercars (F-series).... and in the sports car stakes, the Elise is every but the equal of a Ferrari... both are designed largely to put a smile on the face and that's what counts!
The Elise was designed for it's dynamics. All it's flaws/restrictions are a result of that lack of compromise (oh, and a lack of a few quid!). That makes it a sports car with no doubt in my mind.
I bought a car from a private dealer once, and he had a Testarossa. He told me about the attitude he got from a Fezza dealer when he went to buy a new throttle cable for it because <outrage> he wore jeans!!!
I bought a car from a private dealer once, and he had a Testarossa. He told me about the attitude he got from a Fezza dealer when he went to buy a new throttle cable for it because <outrage> he wore jeans!!!
HA!
The Ferrari attitude is so off putting. Im surprised there are any enthusiasts for the marque at all!
Sounds only suitable for popstars and footballers from what I read here.
Perhaps I should start selling them instead
Id let shiel rattlun roll (whatever) have a test drive.
(I wouldn't let him bring his hounds though)
>> Edited by DustyC on Wednesday 28th July 11:56
The Ferrari attitude is so off putting. Im surprised there are any enthusiasts for the marque at all!
Sounds only suitable for popstars and footballers from what I read here.
Perhaps I should start selling them instead
Id let shiel rattlun roll (whatever) have a test drive.
(I wouldn't let him bring his hounds though
) >> Edited by DustyC on Wednesday 28th July 11:56
I know the Griff is registered as a sports car but the Chim too? Surely theres an error there.
Sorry, this is no place for Chim banter.
Is the Elise really registered as a convertible? I wouldnt have even thought of it as one.
Convertible is a term I would give to cars that usually come in hard top form. Then again, when did the DVLA care about us!
Sorry, this is no place for Chim banter.
Is the Elise really registered as a convertible? I wouldnt have even thought of it as one.
Convertible is a term I would give to cars that usually come in hard top form. Then again, when did the DVLA care about us!
Food for thought. It seems to me that, what some of you are suggesting, is that whether a car is a sports car or not depends on the useage. I suppose that is a much better way of looking at it rather than the actual attributes of the car itself
Perhaps its a mixture of both.
I think Sheik Rattlun Roll should have his own series...like The Cook report
Poptosis....
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