"Sir...That is not a sports car" [Part 2]
Discussion
hehe! Part 2:
I was running on the treadmill at my gym which overlooks Oxford road. Now, I have put on a lot of weight in the past 2 years and have done little exercise in this time (apart from nudge nudge, wink wink aiiiiiiiiiiii!
). So, there I was stuggling after 3minutes on this treadmill.
I wanted to get off, but there was this fit bird next to me who had been running for the past 3 weeks (or it seemed like it) therefore i didnt want to look like a puff (sorry Nightmare
). Instead i started walking and overheard a conversation between a girl on a bike (probably a 3pint-er ) and a guy next to her.
the conversation went like this:
MuscleBoundTosser: So when you coming out with me then? (in a semi-joke, semi-serious way)
3pinter: ..........
MBT: That's a no then? Cool.
3
: Where are you taking me (in a semi-joke, semi-serious way)
##AND THE CONVERSATION WENT LIKE THIS FOR ABOUT 5MINUTES##
MBT: We can catch a bus into town and...
3 : I dont take buses. sorry (i think she was joking)
MBT: Thats not a problem I have a car.
3 : Is it that lotus in the carpark? (in a really excited voice) (the gym in question is student only hence the excitement...i think)
MBT: Its a nice car isnt it?
##VERY cool i thought. neither answered her question nor disappointed her. At this stage i was about to go, but decided to hang about for a mo##
3 : mmmm. lucky you. it's a really nice car. Gonna take me for a spin one day?
MBT: (probably going red as
) sure, look at that! (pointing to an open lorry with people hanging out of the back)
##His desperation to change the subject from this point was hilarious. I was busy trying to not piss myself laughing##
3 : is it fast? how many seats does it have? what colour is the inside? is it leather? are you going to take me home in it?
MBT: take you home? erm. Im going to be here a while.
At this point i couldnt take it.
poor lad. I decided to teach him a lesson. I skipped out of the gym and told the instructer that i was coming back. I hopped into El 'Beast and fired him up. I drove up oxford road and parked up right infront of the window got out, tooted and waved 
The looks were priceless! This WAS a kodak moment. The girl was pointing at me while mouthing something to him (probably, "isnt that your car?") and he just sat there looking straight at me.
By the time i got back to the gym, he had gone but she was still there. She just glared at me, but then started laughing when i smiled. When i got back into the changing rooms, MBT was drying himself off. I looked at him, looked down and start sniggering
He started mouthing to his mate/whoever:
"Those lotuses are shite. I know something about them...they're just ford engined kit cars" ( At this point i thought of DanH, when he was banging on about the "kit-car look" of the S1). "They've only got 2.0L engines in them (if only 
) and they are as slow as shite...not even proper sports cars"
"Its a proper hairdresser's car"
At this point i laughed out loud and blew him a kiss.
He left. I thought "shit! he'll damage El 'beast". I quickly changed and ran to my beloved to find a note underneath my wiper:
"you are a w*nker"
i thought to myself, "your point being?"
And that's the end of that.
In conclusion we drive ford engined kit cars. lovely.
I was running on the treadmill at my gym which overlooks Oxford road. Now, I have put on a lot of weight in the past 2 years and have done little exercise in this time (apart from nudge nudge, wink wink aiiiiiiiiiiii!
). So, there I was stuggling after 3minutes on this treadmill. I wanted to get off, but there was this fit bird next to me who had been running for the past 3 weeks (or it seemed like it) therefore i didnt want to look like a puff (sorry Nightmare
). Instead i started walking and overheard a conversation between a girl on a bike (probably a 3pint-er ) and a guy next to her. the conversation went like this:
MuscleBoundTosser: So when you coming out with me then? (in a semi-joke, semi-serious way)
3pinter: ..........
MBT: That's a no then? Cool.
3
: Where are you taking me (in a semi-joke, semi-serious way) ##AND THE CONVERSATION WENT LIKE THIS FOR ABOUT 5MINUTES##
MBT: We can catch a bus into town and...
3
: I dont take buses. sorry (i think she was joking) MBT: Thats not a problem I have a car.
3
: Is it that lotus in the carpark? (in a really excited voice) (the gym in question is student only hence the excitement...i think) MBT: Its a nice car isnt it?
##VERY cool i thought. neither answered her question nor disappointed her. At this stage i was about to go, but decided to hang about for a mo
## 3
: mmmm. lucky you. it's a really nice car. Gonna take me for a spin one day? MBT: (probably going red as
) sure, look at that! (pointing to an open lorry with people hanging out of the back) ##His desperation to change the subject from this point was hilarious. I was busy trying to not piss myself laughing##
3
: is it fast? how many seats does it have? what colour is the inside? is it leather? are you going to take me home in it? MBT: take you home? erm. Im going to be here a while.
At this point i couldnt take it.
poor lad. I decided to teach him a lesson. I skipped out of the gym and told the instructer that i was coming back. I hopped into El 'Beast and fired him up. I drove up oxford road and parked up right infront of the window got out, tooted and waved The looks were priceless! This WAS a kodak moment. The girl was pointing at me while mouthing something to him (probably, "isnt that your car?") and he just sat there looking straight at me.
By the time i got back to the gym, he had gone but she was still there. She just glared at me, but then started laughing when i smiled. When i got back into the changing rooms, MBT was drying himself off. I looked at him, looked down and start sniggering
He started mouthing to his mate/whoever:
"Those lotuses are shite. I know something about them...they're just ford engined kit cars" (
At this point i thought of DanH, when he was banging on about the "kit-car look" of the S1). "They've only got 2.0L engines in them (if only ) and they are as slow as shite...not even proper sports cars" "Its a proper hairdresser's car"
At this point i laughed out loud and blew him a kiss.
He left. I thought "shit! he'll damage El 'beast". I quickly changed and ran to my beloved to find a note underneath my wiper:
"you are a w*nker"
i thought to myself, "your point being?"
And that's the end of that.
In conclusion we drive ford engined kit cars. lovely.
mister kevlar said:
Could only happend to the big "D" himself-you are truly a king.
Its crazy really how we associate people with certain types of car aint it....its a crazy world..
Judging by your profile, kev (
), a congratulations is in order. Congratulations on your marriage. Hope the car aint too jealous
dragstar said:
Hi Andy 
Will email you soon big-lad
Now now... keep it above the waist mate
dragstar said:
Hope your exams went well
Get an Elise!!!
On a work:result ratio i've done very very well mate... overall still a great result so i'm chuffed
Elise... looking more likely by the day. Probably next summer mate
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