Sex in an Elise
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Discussion

abz 7001

Original Poster:

383 posts

276 months

Thursday 18th September 2003
quotequote all
Vaguely amusing post on the cerbera pages on a similar topic (sex in a Cerbera)!

Just thought it would be even funnier on these pages whilst things were quiet!

Apart from the obvious gearstick risk could you imagine the call to the fire brigade:

"I am sorry I cannot be more specific madam its just that we are stuck, I cant feel my legs and my girlfriend is uncomfortable as usual (long session), please send HELP now! Exact location?, Im in an Elise! Now if you are familiar with them you would know that that is sufficient, theres no where else to go!Please send help we are ruining the Alcantra!"

Bonce

4,339 posts

303 months

Thursday 18th September 2003
quotequote all
abz 7001 said:
I cant feel my legs and my girlfriend is uncomfortable as usual (long session), please send HELP now! Exact location?, Im in an Elise!

That call for help needen't have anything to do with sexual congress, it could just as easily be made from a couple who have driven 200 miles without stopping. Believe me, I know!

As for the sex bit, it's been on my list of things to do before I'm 30 for a while (I crossed skinny dipping off my list a couple of weeks ago, but that's another story ). I reckon the only way is to park up with the roof off somewhere remote with a nice view, and either both stand up facing backwards or both sit in the passenger seat facing forwards (the lady should sit on sir's lap).

AllTorque

2,646 posts

293 months

Thursday 18th September 2003
quotequote all
Bonce said:

As for the sex bit, it's been on my list of things to do before I'm 30


Not cracked your cherry yet eh Bonce? Oh well mate, I'm sure things will pan out ok for you in the long run... tried the personal pages?

Bonce

4,339 posts

303 months

Thursday 18th September 2003
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yeah, but I only got three replies - scruffy, pwig and unlicensed...

Big_M

5,602 posts

287 months

Thursday 18th September 2003
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Bonce said:
yeah, but I only got three replies - scruffy, pwig and unlicensed...
- got a pair of gerbils you can borrow Should make having sex in an Elise a bit easier.

clanger

1,087 posts

282 months

Thursday 18th September 2003
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Does sex on Elise count?

simonrockman

7,091 posts

279 months

Thursday 18th September 2003
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Well I found it impossible in a Suzuki Cappucino. But there is a penalty. Resorting to a more usual hotel room means I now drive a Megane Scenic.

I rather liked Ben Elton's comment on the TR7:

"It's a w@nkers car, you certainly can't f in it"

Simon

paf291x

111 posts

278 months

Friday 19th September 2003
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Paul, you accused me of being childish? Go to your room and think about what you've done.

>> Edited by Bonce on Friday 19th September 09:13

cuzza

2,042 posts

277 months

Friday 19th September 2003
quotequote all
mungo said:
Try it in a Caterham then!


No way!

All limbs must be inside the car for it to count, you know!

cuzza

2,042 posts

277 months

Friday 19th September 2003
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I'm thinking about this far too much for it to be healthy.

Got it - anyone got a Caterham I can borrow for the weekend??

Edge

10 posts

274 months

Friday 19th September 2003
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Argh that takes me back. It was the second time I had met my now girlfriend, so I decided it was time to woo her with my car.

I made the terrible mistake of getting lost in a remarkabley deserted carpark It was overcast weather so the roof was on........really does'nt work like that! so off came the roof.

I had only owned the car for a couple of weeks so this took a few mins (mood killer!), and resulted in me bending one of the clips that attaches to the rear of the car :/. Anyhow, with the roof off it is possable, although you have to be quick to stop any cramp....and trust me I was quick *lol*

Then que not just the rain, but a full on storm. I had to drive my baby home (thats the car, not the girlfriend) getting all wet, as the roof would not go back on after m ealier exploits. Still I guess the seats needed a wash anyway!

AnthT

80 posts

289 months

Monday 22nd September 2003
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"we are ruining the Alcantra!"

it is possible.

ps, (to whoever bought my old elise) sorry about that stain on the passenger seat

Bonce

4,339 posts

303 months

Monday 22nd September 2003
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So is it better with sport suspension or a slightly softer setup, do you think?

cuzza

2,042 posts

277 months

Monday 22nd September 2003
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You're looking for an excuse to blow (no pun intended) more cash on LSS aren't you?

Bonce

4,339 posts

303 months

Monday 22nd September 2003
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Hehe, busted!

I was thinking I might be able to persuade my girlfriend to chip in on the upgrade.

dragstar

3,924 posts

274 months

Tuesday 23rd September 2003
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does "hand-solo" sex count?

dragstar

3,924 posts

274 months

Wednesday 18th August 2004
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It's not possible

S Works

10,166 posts

274 months

Wednesday 18th August 2004
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dragstar said:
It's not possible

It is "Just watch the Alcantara dear, the valet's got the weekend off"

xxplod

2,269 posts

268 months

Wednesday 18th August 2004
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Funniest post I've seen in ages!

DustyC

12,820 posts

278 months

Wednesday 18th August 2004
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mungo said:
Try it in a Caterham then!

Actually works with a little imagination and high discomfort threshold... gotta be a quickie though


Does it really matter if its a quick one?
Well perhaps the lack of windscreen might help int he superlight but think of all the extra room in the SV!