Embarrasing stories in the Esprit....
Discussion
Well just a recent one...I was starting up the car the other day after two weeks at the paint shop infront of the eager on lookers. There were a bunch of young lads taking some pics who worked on the car who were really passionate about these cars and some guys across the road came over for a chat. I knew when I dropped the car off the slave cylinder was rebuilt two weeks prior and a full service by Lotus but I was having trouble selecting gears as the clutch fluid probably wasn't flushed through properly, hence the odd crunch, crunch 
So I jumped in and I fired her up, phew it started and let it run for a while, but to my horror and everyones dissapointment my car was sounding like a tractor running on 2-3 cylinders 
. I then crunched the gears reversing out of the workshop "bugger" I went bright red and mumbled 
I think. Am sure they were thinking "woman driver does not deserve" Came right after I pulled away all fired up nicely (typical), has a nice sounding growl to her just for a four pot, the muffler on this has got no back pressure system in it, hence the lovely sound. So as you can see there is always something to do on these hobby cars.
End of the day its worth going bright red for...LOL
Shes also booked in for new plugs and sorting out that dam gear change. Its stuff we normally do at home ourselves, but arrrhhhh sometimes its quicker and easier for the shops to sort it.
:iguessitsworthit?smiley:
So I jumped in and I fired her up, phew it started and let it run for a while, but to my horror and everyones dissapointment my car was sounding like a tractor running on 2-3 cylinders . I then crunched the gears reversing out of the workshop "bugger" I went bright red and mumbled I think. Am sure they were thinking "woman driver does not deserve" Came right after I pulled away all fired up nicely (typical), has a nice sounding growl to her just for a four pot, the muffler on this has got no back pressure system in it, hence the lovely sound. So as you can see there is always something to do on these hobby cars. End of the day its worth going bright red for...LOL
Shes also booked in for new plugs and sorting out that dam gear change. Its stuff we normally do at home ourselves, but arrrhhhh sometimes its quicker and easier for the shops to sort it.
:iguessitsworthit?smiley:
A few months back before I sold mine I was doing a lot of miles in my Mondeo Auto. I took the Esprit out at the weekend and had no problem switching back to manual for the whole of my run.....until... I went to pull into a petrol station. There was a car coming towards me so I was sort of rolling forward waiting for them to go by so I could turn right - 2 lovely young ladies.... they flashed me, I hit the accelerator... fotgetting I'm in a manual (now almost at stall speed in 2nd...) it lurched forward and stalled infront of them. I knew that 3rd pedal was there for something....
I watched as my street cred went blowing down the street like a tumbleweed in a monsoon....
Oh, I once also made the mistake of trying to adjust my seat while accelerating.... BAD IDEA!!! Especially if you are vertically challanged like me, it's damn scary suddenly being behind the wheel of an esprit, when your feet are 2 foot away from the pedals!!
Can't wait to get back in one again.
JC
I watched as my street cred went blowing down the street like a tumbleweed in a monsoon....
Oh, I once also made the mistake of trying to adjust my seat while accelerating.... BAD IDEA!!! Especially if you are vertically challanged like me, it's damn scary suddenly being behind the wheel of an esprit, when your feet are 2 foot away from the pedals!!
Can't wait to get back in one again.
JC
I have two stories to tell.
The first was the second day of ownership. I was decorating my mother's house and took my car down. I kept looking out of the window from the front bedroom at my car. After a few hours noticed that a group of youths were eying my car up. One of them came upto the house to tell me that I had left my side lights on! Trying to be cool, I said 'thanks and I'll sort it out soon'. I knew that the battery was going to be flat but the group of lads were still there. in the end I went out ready to try and start her up. Nothing! they still wouldn't go away whilst I was trying everything to start her up. In the end, very embarrassed, I had to get out and called at a neighbours house for a booster pack.
The second time was a couple of months ago, nipped out to the local takeaway for a Chinese. Very hungry, rush back but instead of parking on the drive, left the car on the road which had a slight incline. When I was putting the rubbish out noticed that the car had dissappeared. I thought it had been stolen and ran to the end of the drive where I found the car had rolled about 20-30 feet down the road!! It was lucky that the front wheels had just caught the kerb!
Cheers,
Dave Walters
The first was the second day of ownership. I was decorating my mother's house and took my car down. I kept looking out of the window from the front bedroom at my car. After a few hours noticed that a group of youths were eying my car up. One of them came upto the house to tell me that I had left my side lights on! Trying to be cool, I said 'thanks and I'll sort it out soon'. I knew that the battery was going to be flat but the group of lads were still there. in the end I went out ready to try and start her up. Nothing! they still wouldn't go away whilst I was trying everything to start her up. In the end, very embarrassed, I had to get out and called at a neighbours house for a booster pack.
The second time was a couple of months ago, nipped out to the local takeaway for a Chinese. Very hungry, rush back but instead of parking on the drive, left the car on the road which had a slight incline. When I was putting the rubbish out noticed that the car had dissappeared. I thought it had been stolen and ran to the end of the drive where I found the car had rolled about 20-30 feet down the road!! It was lucky that the front wheels had just caught the kerb!
Cheers,
Dave Walters
lotusacbc said:
Dave - That second story is scary! LOL Your heart must have dropped when you noticed it was gone. What happened, you just left it in gear and no handbrake?
Actually, the opposite is quite common: people park on an incline with just the handbrake but not it gear. As the brakes cool, the handbrake loses grip and gravity takes its toll...
karlfranz said:
Dave - That second story is scary! LOL Your heart must have dropped when you noticed it was gone. What happened, you just left it in gear and no handbrake?
Actually, the opposite is quite common: people park on an incline with just the handbrake but not it gear. As the brakes cool, the handbrake loses grip and gravity takes its toll...
I always put my cars in gear and the handbrake on. Good thing I always did because I never thought of that concept
Thanks Karl!My first Esprit was a 1979 S2, which is still waiting on an engine rebuild. 1st gear was a bit squirrely, and if you didn't finesse it just right it would grind like hell. Well I'm at the gas station with a friend and a few people were checking out the car. Praying for a clean getaway with no gear bits left behind was all for naught... griiiind! One of the onlookers spouts out "what a noob...". Totally embarrasing.
Shutting off the S2 could also be an exercise in terror. The engine would burp and hiccup before finally stopping - an ocassionally let out a huge backfire. Having that happen in the parking garage where I worked at the time was awful. It would scare the pants off of everyone until I discovered CAM2.
Lastly, exiting the parking lot from the same office and I stalled at the light at the enterance to the highway. That definitely qualifies me for noob-dom. Well to top it off I had a tendency of flooding the engine. So there I am, stuck throughout at least 4 complete light changes until I got her started again and went on my way. Having that happen in front of strangers is one thing, but having everyone you work with driving by you smiling is too much.
So far I haven't done anything too retarded in the S4s!
Shutting off the S2 could also be an exercise in terror. The engine would burp and hiccup before finally stopping - an ocassionally let out a huge backfire. Having that happen in the parking garage where I worked at the time was awful. It would scare the pants off of everyone until I discovered CAM2.
Lastly, exiting the parking lot from the same office and I stalled at the light at the enterance to the highway. That definitely qualifies me for noob-dom. Well to top it off I had a tendency of flooding the engine. So there I am, stuck throughout at least 4 complete light changes until I got her started again and went on my way. Having that happen in front of strangers is one thing, but having everyone you work with driving by you smiling is too much.
So far I haven't done anything too retarded in the S4s!
Never mend wipers on a sunny day,they only ever let you down on a rainy one.
I made a real 'Quick' job of sorting mine once (wanted to drive,nice day and all). Anyhow,after my car had been in garage for 5 months having engine rebuilt,i picked it up,and gave the guy his £5k (ouch!).
The pleasure of getting my baby back soon faded though, about a mile down the road,rain.
Five minutes later,wiper knackered.
Twenty minutes later,me,soaked to skin,cursing my 'Quick' repair,my car all wet inside and me,after spending £5k on important stuff,'broken down' due to my own stupidity.
Is properly mended now...
PAUL C
I made a real 'Quick' job of sorting mine once (wanted to drive,nice day and all). Anyhow,after my car had been in garage for 5 months having engine rebuilt,i picked it up,and gave the guy his £5k (ouch!).
The pleasure of getting my baby back soon faded though, about a mile down the road,rain.
Five minutes later,wiper knackered.
Twenty minutes later,me,soaked to skin,cursing my 'Quick' repair,my car all wet inside and me,after spending £5k on important stuff,'broken down' due to my own stupidity.
Is properly mended now...
PAUL C
Haha some funny stories.
I was washing the car today to get rid of some of the polishing cream in the cracks left behind, I was standing over the hose when I turned the water on and whoooosh straight up my leg. Didn't care to notice where the end was pointing. I think the neighbours heard the loud "aaaaaarchh $hit!" curse @$$&4@#!
I bet I am not the only one who gets totally saturated after cleaning the car.
I was washing the car today to get rid of some of the polishing cream in the cracks left behind, I was standing over the hose when I turned the water on and whoooosh straight up my leg. Didn't care to notice where the end was pointing. I think the neighbours heard the loud "aaaaaarchh $hit!" curse @$$&4@#!
I bet I am not the only one who gets totally saturated after cleaning the car. kylie said:
Haha some funny stories.
I was washing the car today to get rid of some of the polishing cream in the cracks left behind, I was standing over the hose when I turned the water on and whoooosh straight up my leg. Didn't care to notice where the end was pointing. I think the neighbours heard the loud "aaaaaarchh $hit!" curse @$$&4@#!
Am I the only one here who's going to say this.
Kylie, Esprit, Squirted with hose. Tell me you were wearing a white top and hot pants
Anyway back to the thread. I suffered an Esprit noob moment after going for a run and pulling in to get some fuel. Lets just say hot engine, carbs and an Esprit noob of a few days does not mix well in a public place. Wouldnt start and flodded it (twice). I dont know how long I was 'stranded' but it seemed like a lifetime. Shot off like a bat out hell when she fired up.
Steve
[homer]umm hotpants.. [/homer]
unity1 said:
Am I the only one here who's going to say this.
Kylie, Esprit, Squirted with hose. Tell me you were wearing a white top and hot pants
Haha, sorry if I left myself a bit open there
Well I can say I wear all that in the summer like everyone else does here on a hot day, but at the moment its only 15degc outside (our winter) so its warm top and trousers.
>> Edited by kylie on Wednesday 1st October 23:01
mine is easy, was at a cruise 2 weeks ago, i organised it in birmingham, 1000 cars turn up, skylines/evos/scoobys etc etc, near the end of the night, they opened a oval track, was thinking shall i have a go, so i did (bad mistake). blew the turbo and fried it, 1 mile smoke trail on the way home on the motorway at 2am
got home though, and not bad price, full recon £393 inc vat and delivery
got home though, and not bad price, full recon £393 inc vat and delivery
unity1 said:
Haha some funny stories.
I was washing the car today to get rid of some of the polishing cream in the cracks left behind, I was standing over the hose when I turned the water on and whoooosh straight up my leg. Didn't care to notice where the end was pointing. I think the neighbours heard the loud "aaaaaarchh $hit!" curse @$$&4@#!
Am I the only one here who's going to say this.
Kylie, Esprit, Squirted with hose. Tell me you were wearing a white top and hot pants
Anyway back to the thread. I suffered an Esprit noob moment after going for a run and pulling in to get some fuel. Lets just say hot engine, carbs and an Esprit noob of a few days does not mix well in a public place. Wouldnt start and flodded it (twice). I dont know how long I was 'stranded' but it seemed like a lifetime. Shot off like a bat out hell when she fired up.
Steve
[homer]umm hotpants.. [/homer]
Steve/Kylie,
I was thinking it - that's all I'm saying on the subject.
JC
Okay, it's not an Esprit story but it is a Lotus story.
In the mid 70's after owning 2 of the older models (65 Elan & 70 Europa) I bought a brand new 74 TC Europa. Back then it cost 8K. During that time I lived on the Island of Oahu in the Hawaiian Islands.
So here I am 20 years old,driving a brand new Lotus at 9 pm on Saturday night driving down the middle of the Waikiki hotel and night club strip. For those of you who have never been there, the main road there is a 5 lane one way road about 2-3 miles long with hotels/resorts lining it about 200 bars and restaurants. The side walks are triple wide with packed with people milling about. So as I was crusing down the street the light turned red and I was the first car in line at the cross walk. Lots of people admiring the car and I in turn was checking out all the babes that came to vacation on spring break. Out of the corner of my eye I though I saw something fly in to the car. Looked around and nothing, oh well back to babe watching I thought. In a Europa one sits even lower in the car than an Esprit and ones trouser legs usually rest on the floor. The light turns red and I press the clutch in and shift into 1st. While the clutch pedal is in I feel a tickling feeling on my leg inside of the pants leg and it is traveling further up my leg. As traffic stats to move I slowly let up on the clutch and start to move as the crowd of people on the side walk are watching this cool car taking off. I then realize there is something in my pants leg and it is now half way up between my knee and crotch, it is still moving up. I start slapping and hitting my leg trying to stop or kill whatever it is going for the family jewels. At this time my foot slips off the clutch and the car starts bucking back and forth like a wild horse. The car dies in middle of the intersection, I continue slapping my leg till I feel this gush of liquid from whatever I squished, I jump out of the car, shake my leg and yuck the remains of this 2" long hairy flying roach falls out with it's guts splattered on the inside of my pants leg. I assume that this was the thing I saw eariler flying in through the passenger window. All this in front of several hundered people, many were laughing with the look of nice car too bad he does not know how to drive it. I jump back in and take off not to be seen at the bars that night. All of this happened in a space of a few minutes and remains one of my favorite Lotus stories.
One good thing about living in a resort area. At least they were not locals that I knew or would see again. How embarassing.
Calvin
In the mid 70's after owning 2 of the older models (65 Elan & 70 Europa) I bought a brand new 74 TC Europa. Back then it cost 8K. During that time I lived on the Island of Oahu in the Hawaiian Islands.
So here I am 20 years old,driving a brand new Lotus at 9 pm on Saturday night driving down the middle of the Waikiki hotel and night club strip. For those of you who have never been there, the main road there is a 5 lane one way road about 2-3 miles long with hotels/resorts lining it about 200 bars and restaurants. The side walks are triple wide with packed with people milling about. So as I was crusing down the street the light turned red and I was the first car in line at the cross walk. Lots of people admiring the car and I in turn was checking out all the babes that came to vacation on spring break. Out of the corner of my eye I though I saw something fly in to the car. Looked around and nothing, oh well back to babe watching I thought. In a Europa one sits even lower in the car than an Esprit and ones trouser legs usually rest on the floor. The light turns red and I press the clutch in and shift into 1st. While the clutch pedal is in I feel a tickling feeling on my leg inside of the pants leg and it is traveling further up my leg. As traffic stats to move I slowly let up on the clutch and start to move as the crowd of people on the side walk are watching this cool car taking off. I then realize there is something in my pants leg and it is now half way up between my knee and crotch, it is still moving up. I start slapping and hitting my leg trying to stop or kill whatever it is going for the family jewels. At this time my foot slips off the clutch and the car starts bucking back and forth like a wild horse. The car dies in middle of the intersection, I continue slapping my leg till I feel this gush of liquid from whatever I squished, I jump out of the car, shake my leg and yuck the remains of this 2" long hairy flying roach falls out with it's guts splattered on the inside of my pants leg. I assume that this was the thing I saw eariler flying in through the passenger window. All this in front of several hundered people, many were laughing with the look of nice car too bad he does not know how to drive it. I jump back in and take off not to be seen at the bars that night. All of this happened in a space of a few minutes and remains one of my favorite Lotus stories.
One good thing about living in a resort area. At least they were not locals that I knew or would see again. How embarassing.
Calvin
Cool story Calvin, I would have been hopping about the place like Jim Carrey with electrified Y-fronts...
Anyway, my story has been heard before and is the old handbrake one. Left it on an incline in Marlborough high st. on the British Legion parade Sunday, Mayor and local dignitaries all over the place. Of course the car decided my parking was naff so it rearranged itself into the middle of the road and the parade split in two and marched round it then joined up again. Hundreds of people lining the street saw this plonker running towards the car with a look of complete shock. Esprit was undamaged as I had turned the wheel a little and it rolled from an angle to pointing in the right direction.
stick goes into first from then on!!!!
Dom
Anyway, my story has been heard before and is the old handbrake one. Left it on an incline in Marlborough high st. on the British Legion parade Sunday, Mayor and local dignitaries all over the place. Of course the car decided my parking was naff so it rearranged itself into the middle of the road and the parade split in two and marched round it then joined up again. Hundreds of people lining the street saw this plonker running towards the car with a look of complete shock. Esprit was undamaged as I had turned the wheel a little and it rolled from an angle to pointing in the right direction.
stick goes into first from then on!!!!
Dom
kylie said:
Well I can say I wear all that in the summer like everyone else does here on a hot day...
>> Edited by kylie on Wednesday 1st October 23:01
I'll await your spring/summer car wash posts with eagar anticipation.
I'm now interested on what you edited out.
JC knew you was on my wavelength, See you Sunday poss.
Calvin, Dom
Again, not an Esprit story, but as Colin Chapman was ultimately to blame, I shall post it here...
About sixteen years ago I had a Seven. I was very proud of it, but I was a teenager on a steep learning curve.
I'd just tightened the dynamo belt, fiddled with the Webers, or tweaked something under the bonnet.
As you know, the bonnet on the S3 Sevens justs lifts off and is secured with over-centre clips.
I dropped the bonnet back on, tidied up the spanners and set out on the obligatory test run. Anyway, not being the sharpest tool in the box, I didn't check that I'd fastened the bonnet clips.
You all know what comes next...
Gentle run up to the deristricted twisty B road, then let loose all 115 horses to put a bit of clear tarmac between me and the Ford Cortina that had been right behind me.
Suddenly, in complete accordance with the suspect aerodynamics of a Seven, the bonnet twitches, then flies straight up into the air, over my head and disappears out of sight.
I bring the rest of the car to a stop and, full of trepidation, look back up the road for signs of decapitated pedestrians, written off cars or other carnage. But there was nothing.
I unclip the harness, get out and start walking, looking desperately for the twisted remains of what had been an immaculately polished bonnet.
Couldn't find the bloody thing anywhere.
After having searched the fields on either side of the road, I finally looked up at the eight foot tall hedge that ran alongside the road.
There is was, sitting on top of the hedge. It was even the right way up.
I eventually recovered it and reunited it with the Seven. I walked around the car a couple of times, examining the bonnet from every angle and looking for the inevitable creases and scratches. But there were none.
No dings, no creases, not even a scratch, just an immaculate polished aluminium bonnet. I carefully fastened it down, scratched my head, then continued on my adventure at a more modest pace, wondering how different things might have been.
Pat.
About sixteen years ago I had a Seven. I was very proud of it, but I was a teenager on a steep learning curve.
I'd just tightened the dynamo belt, fiddled with the Webers, or tweaked something under the bonnet.
As you know, the bonnet on the S3 Sevens justs lifts off and is secured with over-centre clips.
I dropped the bonnet back on, tidied up the spanners and set out on the obligatory test run. Anyway, not being the sharpest tool in the box, I didn't check that I'd fastened the bonnet clips.
You all know what comes next...
Gentle run up to the deristricted twisty B road, then let loose all 115 horses to put a bit of clear tarmac between me and the Ford Cortina that had been right behind me.
Suddenly, in complete accordance with the suspect aerodynamics of a Seven, the bonnet twitches, then flies straight up into the air, over my head and disappears out of sight.
I bring the rest of the car to a stop and, full of trepidation, look back up the road for signs of decapitated pedestrians, written off cars or other carnage. But there was nothing.
I unclip the harness, get out and start walking, looking desperately for the twisted remains of what had been an immaculately polished bonnet.
Couldn't find the bloody thing anywhere.
After having searched the fields on either side of the road, I finally looked up at the eight foot tall hedge that ran alongside the road.
There is was, sitting on top of the hedge. It was even the right way up.
I eventually recovered it and reunited it with the Seven. I walked around the car a couple of times, examining the bonnet from every angle and looking for the inevitable creases and scratches. But there were none.
No dings, no creases, not even a scratch, just an immaculate polished aluminium bonnet. I carefully fastened it down, scratched my head, then continued on my adventure at a more modest pace, wondering how different things might have been.
Pat.
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