Spring? Sunny? Sunday? Oh joy, here come the cyclists!
Discussion
And so it came to pass.
For the first time in a long time the planets aligned today so that I was able to sneak out for a trundle around the lanes where I live in rural Cheshire (no, I don't own a black RRS although I am an arrogant, grasping d
head).
Roof down, fuel in the tank, fluids nicely warmed and off I go. Hooray! another 80 hour working week out of the way, children entertained, short pass negotiated with Mrs Beard and a tiny, tiny bit of me time.
To the first corner. Man sitting in fold-up chair looking bored (you know the type - would rather spend all of Sunday in a fold up chair alone with his thoughts about locking people in his cellar while pointing down a road than spend any time with other human beings). I think he was reading a copy of "Sharp knives and Fantasist" magazine as he definitely wasn't a cyclist. It transpires that the "local" cycling club are out for a jaunt today and Fritzl here is playing the critical role of telling them which way to go. Even though they are local.
"Aha" I thought. No problem for me, I know these roads better than any so-called locals, I can stay away from them.
Not for the first time in my life (not even for the first time today), I couldn't have been more wrong. Every single inch of every bit of road is crawling with these stretchy-panted road-owning bastions of dipsttery. Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against cycling per se. I'm a keen mountain biker myself and have been riding for many years but I personally don't feel the need to get 400 chums together and ride four abreast everywhere for hours on end while having a chat about how my arse hasn't been this sore since I accidentally took Rohypnol in Strangeways while dressed as Britney Spears (true story - remember, I have my roof down and am driving behind them at five miles an hour so I can hear every word of their fascinating discussion).
I'm not kidding - every turn I took I ran into more of them. Not once did any of them look around to see if they were holding anyone up (there was quite a queue) or do anything other than treat the roads as their exclusive domain. I could deal with this a little better if these were super-fit, highly tuned athletes as at least they would be able to retain some level of forward motion but one guy went into a ditch when he took one hand off the bars for a drink and several others were veeerrry ill advised wearing lycra. From behind, they looked like someone had successfully landed a hot air balloon on a cocktail stick and the air was very gradually being let out.
After an hour I was forced to give up, having covered a whole seven miles. I don't have a dog in the "they don't pay road tax" fight - if they treat other road users with fairness and respect, they can pound their arses on the tarmac as much as they like, the dull, stupid fkwits.
This lot though, can ps off back to their "local" homes and ride on their "local" streets. If I see psycho Bob sitting on his camping chair on the corner next weekend, I'm heading out with the carpet tacks.
TL;DR - all roadies are worse human beings than the al-Assad family.
For the first time in a long time the planets aligned today so that I was able to sneak out for a trundle around the lanes where I live in rural Cheshire (no, I don't own a black RRS although I am an arrogant, grasping d
head).Roof down, fuel in the tank, fluids nicely warmed and off I go. Hooray! another 80 hour working week out of the way, children entertained, short pass negotiated with Mrs Beard and a tiny, tiny bit of me time.
To the first corner. Man sitting in fold-up chair looking bored (you know the type - would rather spend all of Sunday in a fold up chair alone with his thoughts about locking people in his cellar while pointing down a road than spend any time with other human beings). I think he was reading a copy of "Sharp knives and Fantasist" magazine as he definitely wasn't a cyclist. It transpires that the "local" cycling club are out for a jaunt today and Fritzl here is playing the critical role of telling them which way to go. Even though they are local.
"Aha" I thought. No problem for me, I know these roads better than any so-called locals, I can stay away from them.
Not for the first time in my life (not even for the first time today), I couldn't have been more wrong. Every single inch of every bit of road is crawling with these stretchy-panted road-owning bastions of dips
ttery. Don't get me wrong, I don't have anything against cycling per se. I'm a keen mountain biker myself and have been riding for many years but I personally don't feel the need to get 400 chums together and ride four abreast everywhere for hours on end while having a chat about how my arse hasn't been this sore since I accidentally took Rohypnol in Strangeways while dressed as Britney Spears (true story - remember, I have my roof down and am driving behind them at five miles an hour so I can hear every word of their fascinating discussion).I'm not kidding - every turn I took I ran into more of them. Not once did any of them look around to see if they were holding anyone up (there was quite a queue) or do anything other than treat the roads as their exclusive domain. I could deal with this a little better if these were super-fit, highly tuned athletes as at least they would be able to retain some level of forward motion but one guy went into a ditch when he took one hand off the bars for a drink and several others were veeerrry ill advised wearing lycra. From behind, they looked like someone had successfully landed a hot air balloon on a cocktail stick and the air was very gradually being let out.
After an hour I was forced to give up, having covered a whole seven miles. I don't have a dog in the "they don't pay road tax" fight - if they treat other road users with fairness and respect, they can pound their arses on the tarmac as much as they like, the dull, stupid f
kwits. This lot though, can p
s off back to their "local" homes and ride on their "local" streets. If I see psycho Bob sitting on his camping chair on the corner next weekend, I'm heading out with the carpet tacks. TL;DR - all roadies are worse human beings than the al-Assad family.
They used to come out en-masse for those point-to-point races near me in the summer, and I would always get caught up in the throngs.
One section they always used was a dual carriageway, easy to overtake you'd think, but when they are three or four abreast, you have the cars in L2 overtaking them, plus a load of cars stuck behind them in L1. Chaos generally ensues as people don't pay too much attention and slam on brakes as they come round a corner and find a stationary lane in front of them, and unable to move to L2 due to the other overtaking traffic.
Of course, the cyclists seem to be oblivious to the trucks thundering past them, and the queue of enraged drivers stuck behind them.
One section they always used was a dual carriageway, easy to overtake you'd think, but when they are three or four abreast, you have the cars in L2 overtaking them, plus a load of cars stuck behind them in L1. Chaos generally ensues as people don't pay too much attention and slam on brakes as they come round a corner and find a stationary lane in front of them, and unable to move to L2 due to the other overtaking traffic.
Of course, the cyclists seem to be oblivious to the trucks thundering past them, and the queue of enraged drivers stuck behind them.
They are a menace to the roads, as you say, not so much a problem in small groups up to say 6 or 7 people, but more often than not when the slightly warmer weather turns up they are out in force doing their club racing days and you have thousands of then crawling all I we the roads. 5 and 6 abreast.
Around my area the roads are narrow as it is, with very twisty and turney (that's not even a word) sections and high hedges making it near enough impossible to overtake them.
You give them a root of the horn and they either don't acknowledge it or throw abuse at you. Feel like ramming into the useless fkers and showing them why it's not a good idea to bloke the road. Aaarrrggghhhh s.
Around my area the roads are narrow as it is, with very twisty and turney (that's not even a word) sections and high hedges making it near enough impossible to overtake them.
You give them a root of the horn and they either don't acknowledge it or throw abuse at you. Feel like ramming into the useless f
kers and showing them why it's not a good idea to bloke the road. Aaarrrggghhhh s.
and with living in the country I'm right on a roadie race route 
I am a proper roadie - I own unhealthy amounts of lycra in varying levels of garishness and my bike has far too much money tied up in it. Seeing as I spend so much of my time cycling, I make sure I am careful around cyclists, give them the proper room and treat them how I would like to be treated when I am on my bike.
Went for a decent blast in the Zed today - burnt plenty of V-Power, made lots of lovely noise and had no problems with cyclists - maybe Karma is at work?
Not that I'm smug or anything
Went for a decent blast in the Zed today - burnt plenty of V-Power, made lots of lovely noise and had no problems with cyclists - maybe Karma is at work?
Not that I'm smug or anything
Bagshot Rd through Bisley and West end this morning? Exactly as you describe, two and three abreast having a jolly old chat as they go along, the execrable c**ts.
The temptation to hang back to build up to abput 60mph and just take 20 of the f**kers out in one fell swoop was low at first, but incredibly strong by the third mile of not being able to pass them thanks to speed limits, road layouts and oncoming traffic.
The temptation to hang back to build up to abput 60mph and just take 20 of the f**kers out in one fell swoop was low at first, but incredibly strong by the third mile of not being able to pass them thanks to speed limits, road layouts and oncoming traffic.
I came across one of those local jolly type things on the way somewhere in my old VXT. There wasn't really enough room to go round two cyclists abreast (one would have been fine), and number 56 and 113 were far too engrossed in their thrilling 12.5mph race to notice the car behind and let them past. Might as well sit back and have a smoke, I thought, until a decent bit of straight road opened up and I gunned it past them. For some reason, my car accidentally backfired through the (straight-through) pipes as I overtook, which seemed to slightly irk the cyclists.
However, others weren't as lucky, as at one roundabout I came across a group of cyclists crowded round one rather angry taxi driver, with a cyclist on the floor next to a mangled bike kissing the bonnet of a dented Kia. I decided it was probably best to just leave themselves to sort this one out, as I could almost feel the hatred of "another fking car driver".
However, others weren't as lucky, as at one roundabout I came across a group of cyclists crowded round one rather angry taxi driver, with a cyclist on the floor next to a mangled bike kissing the bonnet of a dented Kia. I decided it was probably best to just leave themselves to sort this one out, as I could almost feel the hatred of "another f
king car driver".
It's the three and four abreast thing that bothers me most. Single file and one can overtake and be on one's way. Two/three/four abreast says "fk you and the horse you rode in on - this patch is ours".
Perhaps an experiment is in order - how about several hundred PHers head for the Velodrome in Manchester? I'm sure three or four sporting motor vehicles side by side around their track will help them to see the error of their ways.
k you and the horse you rode in on - this patch is ours".Perhaps an experiment is in order - how about several hundred PHers head for the Velodrome in Manchester? I'm sure three or four sporting motor vehicles side by side around their track will help them to see the error of their ways.
Parsnip said:
I am a proper roadie - I own unhealthy amounts of lycra in varying levels of garishness and my bike has far too much money tied up in it. Seeing as I spend so much of my time cycling, I make sure I am careful around cyclists, give them the proper room and treat them how I would like to be treated when I am on my bike.
Went for a decent blast in the Zed today - burnt plenty of V-Power, made lots of lovely noise and had no problems with cyclists - maybe Karma is at work?
Not that I'm smug or anything
I couldn't give them proper room - half of them weren't even on my side of the road, what with them having leased it for the day and all.Went for a decent blast in the Zed today - burnt plenty of V-Power, made lots of lovely noise and had no problems with cyclists - maybe Karma is at work?
Not that I'm smug or anything
. You sound like a decent, balanced human being. I therefore don't believe you are an actual roadie.Tidybeard said:
It's the three and four abreast thing that bothers me most. Single file and one can overtake and be on one's way. Two/three/four abreast says "fk you and the horse you rode in on - this patch is ours".
k you and the horse you rode in on - this patch is ours".
f
k you and the horse upon which you rode in. Singletrack roads notwithstanding, if you can't safely pass cyclists two abreast then there isn't room to pass them single file, either.
I hate these fkers with a passion, but only those who think they own the road and are arrogant s with it. I have now decided on a form of protest in that i give them the minimum room possible when i overtake them, tts. What happens if one or more fall over i hear you say?? Serve them right, if they cycled single file and had some respect for other road users, then i might give them more room and courtesy. s the lot of them
kers with a passion, but only those who think they own the road and are arrogant s with it. I have now decided on a form of protest in that i give them the minimum room possible when i overtake them, tts. What happens if one or more fall over i hear you say?? Serve them right, if they cycled single file and had some respect for other road users, then i might give them more room and courtesy. s the lot of them
Tidybeard said:
Parsnip said:
I am a proper roadie - I own unhealthy amounts of lycra in varying levels of garishness and my bike has far too much money tied up in it. Seeing as I spend so much of my time cycling, I make sure I am careful around cyclists, give them the proper room and treat them how I would like to be treated when I am on my bike.
Went for a decent blast in the Zed today - burnt plenty of V-Power, made lots of lovely noise and had no problems with cyclists - maybe Karma is at work?
Not that I'm smug or anything
I couldn't give them proper room - half of them weren't even on my side of the road, what with them having leased it for the day and all.Went for a decent blast in the Zed today - burnt plenty of V-Power, made lots of lovely noise and had no problems with cyclists - maybe Karma is at work?
Not that I'm smug or anything
. You sound like a decent, balanced human being. I therefore don't believe you are an actual roadie.Many people fail to realise that the vast majority of cyclists will also be car owners too... but not vice versa :P
Chill out and give them room - at worst you'll come off with a bashed wing mirror and a slightly delayed journey, but the cyclists worst case is death...
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