What's wrong with me?
Discussion
Hi PH.
I need some advice/thoughts from the panel. I'll start by saying I had a long post written out but I deleted it in favour of something more concise. So rather than presenting you with a wall of text I'll give you a brief overview of my situation/how I'm feeling.
1. I've been in my industry a number of years. It's ok. Enjoyable when things go well, frustrating when they don't. 90% of the time is spent somewhere between the two extremes.
2. It's a very niche industry and my skill set is only directly applicable here. But I feel I do have a strong technical mind as it were. I'm very good at understanding products/systems made up of hardware or software components and how they should be designed/integrated to work well together. I'm not a hardware engineer and nor am I software guy. I "get" both and can understand what they do but not to any high level as it were. I couldn't design you a piece of hardware or write you a "real" program (I have some basic ability in coding but nothing high-level). I do have experience of commissioning hardware/software on-site etc though.
3. My skills/knowledge have been built up over 10 years. I used to think I was pretty good at what I do. However, recent exposure to some of my peers in the industry have shown that I am not as good as I thought I was. On a scale of 1-10 I used to think I was an easy 8. I'm probably more like a 7 on a good day and this is probably down to my attention to detail/desire to meet expectations/please people with my output rather than being particularly good at what I do. This has knocked my confidence a lot. It's actually quite a horrible feeling bordering on making me feel depressed (not medically depressed just in general terms).
4. Recently I have been finding learning curves for me have gone from pleasantly challenging to a pain in the backside and the line between the two moving further and further towards the PITA end of the scale. I think this is down to lack of motivation/desire. Not sure why. I like to think I'm reasonably intelligent (albeit no genius) but I'm just not relishing the idea anymore.
5. For a few years I have been thinking that I should change direction but with the very niche skills I have I cannot see a way out of where I am currently. Issues highlighted above in points 3 and 4 are magnifying thoughts about leaving the industry to take on something new. Or at the very least elevate myself from the nitty gritty/hands-on stuff I do at the moment).
6. If moving into something new I would likely have starting all over again which in itself is not and issue. However, taking a large cut in income has its own issues I fear in doing so I may never make up the gap.
7. Even if I could do something new without taking a huge hit in income I'm not sure what it is that I actually want to do! I'm a technical guy at heart so I know it really has to be something tech based.
I feel if I could relight my fire for my current industry I would be back to firing on all cylinders/learning those new skills with aplomb. I'm just struggling to ignite any passion at the moment/can't see wood for trees.
So, over to the panel. What is wrong with me/how can I start moving forwards?
I need some advice/thoughts from the panel. I'll start by saying I had a long post written out but I deleted it in favour of something more concise. So rather than presenting you with a wall of text I'll give you a brief overview of my situation/how I'm feeling.
1. I've been in my industry a number of years. It's ok. Enjoyable when things go well, frustrating when they don't. 90% of the time is spent somewhere between the two extremes.
2. It's a very niche industry and my skill set is only directly applicable here. But I feel I do have a strong technical mind as it were. I'm very good at understanding products/systems made up of hardware or software components and how they should be designed/integrated to work well together. I'm not a hardware engineer and nor am I software guy. I "get" both and can understand what they do but not to any high level as it were. I couldn't design you a piece of hardware or write you a "real" program (I have some basic ability in coding but nothing high-level). I do have experience of commissioning hardware/software on-site etc though.
3. My skills/knowledge have been built up over 10 years. I used to think I was pretty good at what I do. However, recent exposure to some of my peers in the industry have shown that I am not as good as I thought I was. On a scale of 1-10 I used to think I was an easy 8. I'm probably more like a 7 on a good day and this is probably down to my attention to detail/desire to meet expectations/please people with my output rather than being particularly good at what I do. This has knocked my confidence a lot. It's actually quite a horrible feeling bordering on making me feel depressed (not medically depressed just in general terms).
4. Recently I have been finding learning curves for me have gone from pleasantly challenging to a pain in the backside and the line between the two moving further and further towards the PITA end of the scale. I think this is down to lack of motivation/desire. Not sure why. I like to think I'm reasonably intelligent (albeit no genius) but I'm just not relishing the idea anymore.
5. For a few years I have been thinking that I should change direction but with the very niche skills I have I cannot see a way out of where I am currently. Issues highlighted above in points 3 and 4 are magnifying thoughts about leaving the industry to take on something new. Or at the very least elevate myself from the nitty gritty/hands-on stuff I do at the moment).
6. If moving into something new I would likely have starting all over again which in itself is not and issue. However, taking a large cut in income has its own issues I fear in doing so I may never make up the gap.
7. Even if I could do something new without taking a huge hit in income I'm not sure what it is that I actually want to do! I'm a technical guy at heart so I know it really has to be something tech based.
I feel if I could relight my fire for my current industry I would be back to firing on all cylinders/learning those new skills with aplomb. I'm just struggling to ignite any passion at the moment/can't see wood for trees.
So, over to the panel. What is wrong with me/how can I start moving forwards?
Whilst no consolation to you, you find yourself in a very common situation. We all go through periods of self doubt, questioning our own worth and contribution to society and life in general; some call it a mid-life or mid-career crisis. So accepting it's normal and most others will have gone through a similar period and come out the other end should give you some hope.
What to do next? Ideally with a coach, it's worth setting out your stall in terms of future aspirations versus any real world constraints and then map competencies to your preferred trajectory and then look at all options, homing in on the most realistic ones. I find my candidates find this hugely useful and it often results in either a more reasoned perspective of their current situation or provides a realistic bunch of other options. Good luck!
What to do next? Ideally with a coach, it's worth setting out your stall in terms of future aspirations versus any real world constraints and then map competencies to your preferred trajectory and then look at all options, homing in on the most realistic ones. I find my candidates find this hugely useful and it often results in either a more reasoned perspective of their current situation or provides a realistic bunch of other options. Good luck!
stuckinarut said:
Hi PH.
2. It's a very niche industry and my skill set is only directly applicable here.
Your wrong. 2. It's a very niche industry and my skill set is only directly applicable here.
Take what you do, put it in non niche industry terms and I am sure you will see what other industries it may well be valid. Write down the products and processes you use to carry out your work.
Talk with those peers (if you can without giving the game away) and see what they are looking to do with their careers, where they see their career going in such a niche industry. Perhaps find out where they came from?
If you're doing the same thing, day in, day out, it's difficult for you to acquire new skills to add to what you already have and equally difficult to add to your current knowledge base. When others come in, fresh from other experiences, they will obviously have a wider pool of experiences from which to draw on and thus, whilst you exist as a solid pair of hands, without the ability to move forward, you will end up moving back. This, I think, is the root of your concern.
It sounds to me like you don't mind your industry so a suggestion would be to look at building skills through training in areas where you feel you are weak compared to your peers and focus on developing a unique skill (or skills); something that makes you stand out. Achieving this in a niche sector is a very attractive thing to have and will boost your confidence no end.
It sounds to me like you don't mind your industry so a suggestion would be to look at building skills through training in areas where you feel you are weak compared to your peers and focus on developing a unique skill (or skills); something that makes you stand out. Achieving this in a niche sector is a very attractive thing to have and will boost your confidence no end.
StevieBee said:
If you're doing the same thing, day in, day out, it's difficult for you to acquire new skills to add to what you already have and equally difficult to add to your current knowledge base. When others come in, fresh from other experiences, they will obviously have a wider pool of experiences from which to draw on and thus, whilst you exist as a solid pair of hands, without the ability to move forward, you will end up moving back. This, I think, is the root of your concern.
It sounds to me like you don't mind your industry so a suggestion would be to look at building skills through training in areas where you feel you are weak compared to your peers and focus on developing a unique skill (or skills); something that makes you stand out. Achieving this in a niche sector is a very attractive thing to have and will boost your confidence no end.
excellent advice here and describes my situation perfectly. I noticed my mood and tolerance levels at work have changed over the past couple of years. Put simply I had no enthusiasm for the role any longer.It sounds to me like you don't mind your industry so a suggestion would be to look at building skills through training in areas where you feel you are weak compared to your peers and focus on developing a unique skill (or skills); something that makes you stand out. Achieving this in a niche sector is a very attractive thing to have and will boost your confidence no end.
I have very recently gotten the opportunity to get out and do something that I actually enjoy. It will mean starting at the bottom again but life is simply too fleeting and the hours we spend in work too great, to be unhappy
fin racer said:
excellent advice here and describes my situation perfectly. I noticed my mood and tolerance levels at work have changed over the past couple of years. Put simply I had no enthusiasm for the role any longer.
This is kind kind of how I feel. fin racer said:
I have very recently gotten the opportunity to get out and do something that I actually enjoy. It will mean starting at the bottom again but life is simply too fleeting and the hours we spend in work too great, to be unhappy
How hard was the decision to get out and start at the bottom again? Is there a path to get you back up to where you were? How old are you?We'd call you a systems engineer. An important role when bringing various software and hardware components together to make a system that actually works 
You don't need to be an expert in both areas or know every detail, but knowing how tab A fits in to slot B is pretty important.
Sounds like your confidence has taken a knock recently and everything else stems from that. If you sort that out the interest in learning will return I think.
You don't need to be an expert in both areas or know every detail, but knowing how tab A fits in to slot B is pretty important.
Sounds like your confidence has taken a knock recently and everything else stems from that. If you sort that out the interest in learning will return I think.
I am currently in the same situation as the OP. Been doing my current line of work for circa 18+ years, but we used to have the advantage of being able to change customers every so often. About 5 years ago the role I was working in came to an end and I left and moved onto a long term project for another customer. This was just what I needed as it opened my eyes to other area's to learn, skill sets to obtain and the challenge I sorely needed. I received awards and commendations various times whilst doing this project.
This project came to an end a little over a year ago and I moved back to an old customer doing what I used to do, which I and the team I had worked with felt was a massive step backwards, I just viewed it as I’ve got a job get on with it. I had no training for over 10 years doing the job until the last year, which was mostly recertification over learning something new. I learnt the skills required for the project work from working extra tasks for a customer over my company putting me either into training or teaching me, they described it as not a job we as a company provide. Very blinkered in the current market. I have one exam still outstanding that just is not sinking in and have been warned about possible ramifications from not passing it, but I just point to the fact I’ve completed and passed circa 15 others since starting this problem course/exam. I’m getting pretty stressed about it now.
I have been looking around at other job adverts on all the various websites, but they either want people to work for peanuts with every qualification under the sun or the jobs are not making the websites and going via word of mouth, which I know mostly happens in the field I wish to work in. I do have some contacts, but sadly as like most places they are not spending the money doing anything new due to the financial climate.
I’ve lost all interest in work, but I still believe in doing my work to the best of my abilities. At over 40 years old, a complete change in what I do would not be possible as bills need paying and I still want to retain some sort of lifestyle, I’m talking being able to take holidays here.
I know boring but I felt I just needed to vent a little.
F1sh
This project came to an end a little over a year ago and I moved back to an old customer doing what I used to do, which I and the team I had worked with felt was a massive step backwards, I just viewed it as I’ve got a job get on with it. I had no training for over 10 years doing the job until the last year, which was mostly recertification over learning something new. I learnt the skills required for the project work from working extra tasks for a customer over my company putting me either into training or teaching me, they described it as not a job we as a company provide. Very blinkered in the current market. I have one exam still outstanding that just is not sinking in and have been warned about possible ramifications from not passing it, but I just point to the fact I’ve completed and passed circa 15 others since starting this problem course/exam. I’m getting pretty stressed about it now.
I have been looking around at other job adverts on all the various websites, but they either want people to work for peanuts with every qualification under the sun or the jobs are not making the websites and going via word of mouth, which I know mostly happens in the field I wish to work in. I do have some contacts, but sadly as like most places they are not spending the money doing anything new due to the financial climate.
I’ve lost all interest in work, but I still believe in doing my work to the best of my abilities. At over 40 years old, a complete change in what I do would not be possible as bills need paying and I still want to retain some sort of lifestyle, I’m talking being able to take holidays here.
I know boring but I felt I just needed to vent a little.
F1sh
Just to frame my situation some more:
1. I used to LOVE what I currently do. I used to live and breathe the job. It was that way for nearly 6-7 years. It's years 8-10 (bringing us up to date) which are feeling like a chore.
2. I stuck it out working at a company (that were good to me) for too long.
3. I left but after a brief dalliance with another group returned to the first place rather than taking a role that was available at another company.
4. The other option in point 3 presented itself again further down the line but again I didn't take the opportunity...in hindsight this was foolish as they are "a player" in my industry but I was too easily swayed by finances. My employer offered me more and I stayed because of it.
5. Eventually I left because I felt (after a total of 8 and a bit years) I had given the company all I could. The higher-ups were not focused enough/providing the direction required. I felt I could only contribute so much considering it was not my business/I didn't have any real stake in it. Believe me when I say I tried to improve things and I tried to make them see the light on a number of occasions. However, there is only so much I could do. They meant well but lacked execution. Good intentions do not a good business/working environment make.
6. I'm now working freelance/contracting but it's peaks and troughs. Some gaps in my experience/thought processes are becoming apparent but I can still deliver broadly speaking.
7. I either need to stick it out doing what I currently do and fill those gaps OR make a change/side-ways step into something new. The problem I've got is that I don't have a clear idea of what it is I want to do. I'd like to elevate myself from the nitty gritty and move into a higher level role. I don't mean that in a financial sense (though it would nice) more in terms of getting away from some of the on the ground/hands-on stuff.
I'm just writing for the sake of it, it feels kind of cathartic and I do 100% appreciate all the feedback you guys are providing. Thanks for reading/contributing, I really do mean that.
EDIT:
Just to add, I'm early 30s so I hope age is on my side...if only just. I get the impression that if I am going to make the change it needs to be now and F1sh effectively echoes that. I have some responsibilities (wife/mortgage etc) but I'm not big on luxuries/holidays.
1. I used to LOVE what I currently do. I used to live and breathe the job. It was that way for nearly 6-7 years. It's years 8-10 (bringing us up to date) which are feeling like a chore.
2. I stuck it out working at a company (that were good to me) for too long.
3. I left but after a brief dalliance with another group returned to the first place rather than taking a role that was available at another company.
4. The other option in point 3 presented itself again further down the line but again I didn't take the opportunity...in hindsight this was foolish as they are "a player" in my industry but I was too easily swayed by finances. My employer offered me more and I stayed because of it.
5. Eventually I left because I felt (after a total of 8 and a bit years) I had given the company all I could. The higher-ups were not focused enough/providing the direction required. I felt I could only contribute so much considering it was not my business/I didn't have any real stake in it. Believe me when I say I tried to improve things and I tried to make them see the light on a number of occasions. However, there is only so much I could do. They meant well but lacked execution. Good intentions do not a good business/working environment make.
6. I'm now working freelance/contracting but it's peaks and troughs. Some gaps in my experience/thought processes are becoming apparent but I can still deliver broadly speaking.
7. I either need to stick it out doing what I currently do and fill those gaps OR make a change/side-ways step into something new. The problem I've got is that I don't have a clear idea of what it is I want to do. I'd like to elevate myself from the nitty gritty and move into a higher level role. I don't mean that in a financial sense (though it would nice) more in terms of getting away from some of the on the ground/hands-on stuff.
I'm just writing for the sake of it, it feels kind of cathartic and I do 100% appreciate all the feedback you guys are providing. Thanks for reading/contributing, I really do mean that.
EDIT:
Just to add, I'm early 30s so I hope age is on my side...if only just. I get the impression that if I am going to make the change it needs to be now and F1sh effectively echoes that. I have some responsibilities (wife/mortgage etc) but I'm not big on luxuries/holidays.
Edited by stuckinarut on Monday 24th June 22:32
stuckinarut said:
fin racer said:
excellent advice here and describes my situation perfectly. I noticed my mood and tolerance levels at work have changed over the past couple of years. Put simply I had no enthusiasm for the role any longer.
This is kind kind of how I feel. fin racer said:
I have very recently gotten the opportunity to get out and do something that I actually enjoy. It will mean starting at the bottom again but life is simply too fleeting and the hours we spend in work too great, to be unhappy
How hard was the decision to get out and start at the bottom again? Is there a path to get you back up to where you were? How old are you?stuckinarut said:
J
Just to add, I'm early 30s so I hope age is on my side...if only just. I get the impression that if I am going to make the change it needs to be now and F1sh effectively echoes that. I have some responsibilities (wife/mortgage etc) but I'm not big on luxuries/holidays.
You say that you are freelancing and it's clear you know your way round your particular industry, even if you knowledge isn't cutting edge.Just to add, I'm early 30s so I hope age is on my side...if only just. I get the impression that if I am going to make the change it needs to be now and F1sh effectively echoes that. I have some responsibilities (wife/mortgage etc) but I'm not big on luxuries/holidays.
The next logical thing to think about is starting a 'proper' business on your own. You have the skills, knowledge, contacts and it appears, clients. The step up from freelance to business ownership is not that great - just start punching above your weight a bit, bring in contractors as an when and off you go. Not quite as easy as that but the challenge will certainly invigorate you.
fin racer said:
After 7 years in the one job, a job I knew had little or no chance of progression, that decision was quite easy to make. In fact I am currently working my notice period.I am taking a salary hit which is tolerable, only because I know the new job will give me the experience needed to increase my earnings. The path is entirely my own making. I am studying a degree as well and while that will not get me where I want to be solely, it will and does show my future-employee my desire to get to where I want to be. I am 36.
Wow. You're really going hell for leather at this aren't you! I admire how motivated you are. I'm really struggling with that aspect at the moment. I need to get that passion to learn/progress back. I don't know what's wrong with me, I used to be really "on it" for want of a better phrase but somewhere along the line lost that.Before I can move forwards, I feel like I need to get my "mojo" back. I feel like the first step to achieving that is to achieve some clarity on what it is I actually want to do. For me, this is the key.
StevieBee said:
You say that you are freelancing and it's clear you know your way round your particular industry, even if you knowledge isn't cutting edge.
Hrm. Let's clear about this...Freelancing has seen me "survive" for a year. I have not done badly by any means but at the same time I've not been wildly successful either. It's been ok. If the rest of my years are spent freelancing and financially live up to the last year...I could live with that as I made a sensible living and didn't have to work 365 days for it. The work-life balance has been good. However, as a contractor/freelancer a lot of "downtime" is spent chasing the next project/job.
However, there's just some uncertainty at the moment because a) it's a little quiet out there and b) I've questioned my own ability.
I know the industry well enough and there's mileage in it yet. I just need to figure out which direction I want to pursue and whether that is within my current sector.
StevieBee said:
The next logical thing to think about is starting a 'proper' business on your own. You have the skills, knowledge, contacts and it appears, clients. The step up from freelance to business ownership is not that great - just start punching above your weight a bit, bring in contractors as an when and off you go. Not quite as easy as that but the challenge will certainly invigorate you.
This is indeed one way forward and something I am considering however in my industry the overheads can be high so it needs to be planned carefully. I am open to this though and am not rejecting the notion out of hand by any means. I have been discussing the possibility with an old colleague who is also keen on the idea so definitely some mileage in this. As an side, I've been presented with an opportunity but it's a fulltime role which would mean putting the freelance/business on hold. If I take it up (if it's offered), it would also mean falling further behind in certain skills but I would be gaining experience in some other areas.
The prospective employer could be considered "Tier 1" in their field so there's opportunity to work on projects that are, if not groundbreaking, quite special in their own right while still, broadly speaking, keeping my finger of the pulse of the industry in general.
I guess I'm just feeling a little "lost" at the moment. The first step is figuring out where I want to be/go. This is what I am finding difficult. I'm not really sure what I was expecting by posting this thread but just typing it all out is cathartic in itself.
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