Looking to get into motoring journalism

[E46Dan]

Hi Pistonheads, my names Dan and I am looking for advice and tips really. I'm looking to become involved in journalism of a motoring nature, I have written a short review of the DSG gearbox in VAG vehicles and would like tips on where to improve. Input from site editors and reviewers is more than welcome, and i take criticism well.


DSG Gearbox Review

Now I am an old school driver, if there’s no clutch there’s no manliness. Flappy paddles were never an attraction ever since testing the Aston Martin system and finding it about as responsive as a Citroen 2CV, but could there be another way? We're talking about the double clutch DSG system equipped to a lot of VW’s, Audis and Lamborghinis. My first experience wasn’t really anything to feel good about, mostly in town driving the gearbox felt restrained and jerky. I felt my expectations were right and that this was another gearbox for a lazy driver that wanted to tell his friends he has a gearbox like a supercar, boy was I wrong. Coming out of town I put it in fully auto to see if it was any better, at first there wasn’t any difference the gearbox didn’t know what gear to be in and worst of all I wasn’t able to exploit gaps in traffic. I was then graced with the United Kingdoms best feature, a windy country road with great views and even greater corners. Switching into DSG manual mode I took control and my opinion on the gearbox was changed forever. Corner after corner seamless gear changes, perfect blips of throttle on down changes, and with that double clutch I was able to drive hard knowing it would handle everything I threw at it. I managed over 80 miles of country roads in what seemed minutes. It’s amazing to think that for less than £10,000 you can pick up second hand Golfs with this amazing gearbox. If you're serious about driving and want that ultimate feel of the road without having to perfect heel and toe, and having your hands on the wheel at all times then this could be one of the most enjoyable purchases to make. But and there is a downside to this, if you live or commute around a city where its mostly 1st and 2nd gear driving the manual option will be the one to choose in my eyes. Open roads country bends or even worldwide trips a DSG equipped car is the ultimate way to travel without needing a supercar.



Thanks in advance, Dan

Edited by E46Dan on Friday 13th March 19:32

[campionissimo]

First of all, learn about words like 'where, we're and were'. And 'your, you're' etc.....

And apostrophes.

[E46Dan]

campionissimo said:

First of all, learn about words like 'where, we're and were'. And 'your, you're' etc.....

And apostrophes.

Proof reading, got that. What about the article itself? Is it informative and yet entertaining but expressing my opinion in a good way? If published (and proof-read), would it be something you would read and not just flick the page?

Thanks

[Vaud]

Take this the right way - it's more than proof reading. That is a very weak article; more a stream of consciousness than any form of article I would want to read.

For me it reads more like a Youtube voiceover than a print / web blog article.

[Rayy]

Paragraphs?

[spikeyhead]

I'm generally of the opinion that enthusiasm should be channelled rather than crushed, and it's obvious that the OP is enthusiastic, however every bloke on here, hundreds of thousands of them would like to earn a living as a motoring journalist, and most of them are better writers than the OP.

I'll take a guess that there are only a couple of hundred motoring journalists in the UK, there are more professional footballers, and I suspect that the average scrote has more chance of playing for Fulham than you have of earning a living writing about gearboxes.

Dan, I've no idea how old you are, but if this is something you really want to do then keep practising. Just write informed posts on here, proof read them, learn a little from other posters and if you find an area you're really enthusiastic about then consider setting up a website about it, but find another way of earning a living until your writing skills are honed.

[allergictocheese]

The first couple of lines have relatively poor grammar, which caused me to hesitate and have to work out what you meant. It is probably worth going right back to English writing basics then applying what you learn to your choice of subject.

The thread that holds together people who write for a living is the quality of writing. The subject of their writing is secondary. In other words, a good writer will be able to write well about any subject within their knowledge. Conversely, a poor writer will produce poor writing however interested they are in their chosen subject.

[Kapenta]

How old are you?

[HenryJM]

I'm sorry but that is bad, punctuation, repetition of words, etc etc.

[Jaska]

I'll bite to the creative advice section of this thread - Maybe just a few tweaks to make it a little more interesting? Something like the below might help for the first paragraph - If you are going to call yourself 'old school' then subscribe to it completely.

Can you teach an old dog new tricks?

As a certified member of the old-man driving club (leather gloves required) I subscribe to the formula of "No Clutch = No Manliness". My first experience with the new-fangled flappy-paddle system equipped to the Aston Martin Vanquish in the early 2000's gave me about the same thrill as driving a Citroen 2CV while under the influence of Bovril. But could the market find another way? Let's discuss the saviour of the left foot cramp world - the double clutch DSG system available on a vast range of Audi's, VW's and even recent Lamborghinis.

Regardless I hope this helps you to see you can jazz up a little what you are discussing while still providing the facts.

[I'm absolutely not an english language graduate, journalist or afiliated with any motorsport, but I know what I like to read]

J

[mike9009]

I hear there is a vacancy at the BBC for an aspiring motoring journalist.

I quite liked your style of writing (lots of first person perspective, which I like - there is some personality), but as another poster suggested it needs a beginning, middle and end. I think this brief example of your writing only covers the middle. Also, you do not even mention what car you are driving - this would have a huge influence on my interpretation of your piece. Was it brand new, used, Golf or not???

Having said that, I don't think this piece offers anything novel over other journalists offerings and so would be very quickly overlooked by an editor. The references (2CV) feel old, tired and dated.

Paragraphs or breaks would be great.

Just my initial thoughts....

Mike