What would you do in my shoes?
Discussion
I start by apologising for the long post but this has made me feel down and worried most days and would really appreciate it if I could get some insight and advice.
About just under 2 years ago I took a chance to leave a global multinational company to work for a 80 user SME. My role was stable in the last company but progression was blocked and I felt that my efforts was ignored. I like to go to work, contribute and try to make a difference but when all the efforts gets ignored it's soul destroying.
One of the motivator to leave was the pay, which is much higher in this SME. Prior to joining I've also asked about progression and was ensured that my role would be a dynamic and involving one. They did take on an internal promotion into the team and intends to keep him. I have no issues with this. The guy's role is junior to me, kind of a jack-of-all-trades in the department whilst my role is a more specialised one. During the interview I did discuss about progressing to a management role and they casually mentioned that I could be line managing Mr Jack-Of-All-Trades one day.
The first few months were excellent, I felt really involved and efforts felt and appreciated by the whole company. I've also taken to a mentoring role to Jack helping him in his projects and also throwing in a few career advice etc.
I've begun to notice issues about 4-5 months back. Our line manager seem to have taken more interest in Jack, involving him in most of the department's activities. He is the go-to guy when going off-site or to conferences. As we are a 3 man team in HQ we can't all 3 go out of office but I do feel left out if that makes sense. Any meetings that I'm involved with Jack is always involved in too, even though when he has zero input he is still invited.
Now to balance things out a bit I suppose I do have a major project due to Go-Live next month. Perhaps that's why I've been not involved in the departments activities. However that still doesn't explain why Line Manager started excluding me months before. Another thing to consider is that the activities doesn't directly correlate to my specialty and line Line Manager automatically sees that as Jack's remit. I understand that I'm hired for my specialty but being in a team shouldn't everyone have a fair share of responsibilities? Some of the projects/activities Jack is involved in I'm fairly good at it too but as I've said I'm being automatically excluded.
In summary, I feel like a 3rd wheel in the team, slowly being pushed aside. This is turning into the same scenario as my last company but at least it wasn't felt as much as it was across different offices and countries...
Maybe I'm just thinking too much but I keep worrying that if my major project is successful there could be a good chance I'll be made redundant, especially if I'm not involved in most of the department's activities except for the major project I'm working on.
Line Manager is a down to earth guy and treats me fine. Perhaps he doesn't notice what I've noticed or perhaps I'm over-thinking things.
Anyway I plan to have a 1-to-1 chat with him to discuss this. Do you guys think this is a good idea?
About just under 2 years ago I took a chance to leave a global multinational company to work for a 80 user SME. My role was stable in the last company but progression was blocked and I felt that my efforts was ignored. I like to go to work, contribute and try to make a difference but when all the efforts gets ignored it's soul destroying.
One of the motivator to leave was the pay, which is much higher in this SME. Prior to joining I've also asked about progression and was ensured that my role would be a dynamic and involving one. They did take on an internal promotion into the team and intends to keep him. I have no issues with this. The guy's role is junior to me, kind of a jack-of-all-trades in the department whilst my role is a more specialised one. During the interview I did discuss about progressing to a management role and they casually mentioned that I could be line managing Mr Jack-Of-All-Trades one day.
The first few months were excellent, I felt really involved and efforts felt and appreciated by the whole company. I've also taken to a mentoring role to Jack helping him in his projects and also throwing in a few career advice etc.
I've begun to notice issues about 4-5 months back. Our line manager seem to have taken more interest in Jack, involving him in most of the department's activities. He is the go-to guy when going off-site or to conferences. As we are a 3 man team in HQ we can't all 3 go out of office but I do feel left out if that makes sense. Any meetings that I'm involved with Jack is always involved in too, even though when he has zero input he is still invited.
Now to balance things out a bit I suppose I do have a major project due to Go-Live next month. Perhaps that's why I've been not involved in the departments activities. However that still doesn't explain why Line Manager started excluding me months before. Another thing to consider is that the activities doesn't directly correlate to my specialty and line Line Manager automatically sees that as Jack's remit. I understand that I'm hired for my specialty but being in a team shouldn't everyone have a fair share of responsibilities? Some of the projects/activities Jack is involved in I'm fairly good at it too but as I've said I'm being automatically excluded.
In summary, I feel like a 3rd wheel in the team, slowly being pushed aside. This is turning into the same scenario as my last company but at least it wasn't felt as much as it was across different offices and countries...
Maybe I'm just thinking too much but I keep worrying that if my major project is successful there could be a good chance I'll be made redundant, especially if I'm not involved in most of the department's activities except for the major project I'm working on.
Line Manager is a down to earth guy and treats me fine. Perhaps he doesn't notice what I've noticed or perhaps I'm over-thinking things.
Anyway I plan to have a 1-to-1 chat with him to discuss this. Do you guys think this is a good idea?
Edited by anxious_ant on Sunday 10th June 12:56
Rich1973 said:
Yes, a 1 to 1 is the way to go. Polite and non confrontational.
Explain how you feel and be prepared to offer solutions.
Be sure to make it as cooperative as possible and ideally mutually beneficial.
Thanks. Perhaps it’s me over thinking but should I wait until my project is completed for the 1 to 1? I suppose if I have it now line manager might just say anything to ensure I don’t leave before project ends?Explain how you feel and be prepared to offer solutions.
Be sure to make it as cooperative as possible and ideally mutually beneficial.
On the other hand I really want to get this off my chest.
dingg said:
If your face doesn't fit , time to move on or accept you'll get nowhere with the co.
To be fair everything is very civilised at the moment. Except for my concerns above of course.Suppose in the mean time it’s worth updating my cv and start to have a look around. The only issue is I have a 3 month notice period which makes things bit difficult. Also can’t leave until this projects gets off the ground as that’s the primary reason I was hired.
My first thought is that if the same thing has happened across two separate companies, there’s something you need to look at as there is only one thing common to both situations.
This brings me onto my second thought: you need to get the viewpoint of someone who is as close to impartial as is feasible possible whilst still knowing what’s going on.
My gut feeling is that you are doing something you’re not aware of, or are not doing something you ought to be, and it’s holding you back.
Might not be much, it could even, just as an example, be that you have some mannerisms that some people find annoying.
I’m not saying it’s this, but I suspect there is something. It’s not easy to see yourself from other peoples’ perspective, especially something that might be a negative.
Hope all that makes sense and you get the point I’m attempting to make, I’m trying to type quickly while at work so apologies if it doesn’t.
Eta: on the other hand you might just be over thinking it and in reality it’s nothing to be concerned about.
This brings me onto my second thought: you need to get the viewpoint of someone who is as close to impartial as is feasible possible whilst still knowing what’s going on.
My gut feeling is that you are doing something you’re not aware of, or are not doing something you ought to be, and it’s holding you back.
Might not be much, it could even, just as an example, be that you have some mannerisms that some people find annoying.
I’m not saying it’s this, but I suspect there is something. It’s not easy to see yourself from other peoples’ perspective, especially something that might be a negative.
Hope all that makes sense and you get the point I’m attempting to make, I’m trying to type quickly while at work so apologies if it doesn’t.
Eta: on the other hand you might just be over thinking it and in reality it’s nothing to be concerned about.
Super Slo Mo said:
My first thought is that if the same thing has happened across two separate companies, there’s something you need to look at as there is only one thing common to both situations.
This brings me onto my second thought: you need to get the viewpoint of someone who is as close to impartial as is feasible possible whilst still knowing what’s going on.
My gut feeling is that you are doing something you’re not aware of, or are not doing something you ought to be, and it’s holding you back.
Might not be much, it could even, just as an example, be that you have some mannerisms that some people find annoying.
I’m not saying it’s this, but I suspect there is something. It’s not easy to see yourself from other peoples’ perspective, especially something that might be a negative.
Hope all that makes sense and you get the point I’m attempting to make, I’m trying to type quickly while at work so apologies if it doesn’t.
Eta: on the other hand you might just be over thinking it and in reality it’s nothing to be concerned about.
Fair point and it’s hard to ask this question at work. Hence why I try to garner thoughts on this forums. Really do appreciate your feedback This brings me onto my second thought: you need to get the viewpoint of someone who is as close to impartial as is feasible possible whilst still knowing what’s going on.
My gut feeling is that you are doing something you’re not aware of, or are not doing something you ought to be, and it’s holding you back.
Might not be much, it could even, just as an example, be that you have some mannerisms that some people find annoying.
I’m not saying it’s this, but I suspect there is something. It’s not easy to see yourself from other peoples’ perspective, especially something that might be a negative.
Hope all that makes sense and you get the point I’m attempting to make, I’m trying to type quickly while at work so apologies if it doesn’t.
Eta: on the other hand you might just be over thinking it and in reality it’s nothing to be concerned about.
Perhaps I should’ve explained that in my last job I was the one who resigned. There’s been a massive shift in the way the department is structured which meant I had to spend 3 days/week in HQ away from my family. I’ve been asked by new Head to consider relocation but he won’t offer any incentives or even discuss my plans for the department.
I’ve always been a very nice person to everyone at work. I’m not Mr Popular, I have to admit, but I still get invited to social events at current job. I’m not saying that it couldn’t be something negative I’m doing though and it would be nice to find out.
I guess I’m just a little perplexed at perhaps what I perceive as the recent changes.
I took a long time to compose this reply and have read it back a few times. It’s affecting my mental health but perhaps I’m over thinking it.
I’m really tempted to have a 1-to-1 chat with the Line Manager however I’m not too sure how to express what I wanted to say without causing issues in the future.
I know the Line Manager is willing to listen as the last time I had a 1-to-1 with him due to project pressure he authoritied me to take 1 day a week to work from home.
Edited by anxious_ant on Sunday 10th June 16:23
SeanyD said:
Work with Line Manager to set out career development objectives, even if you document your own objectives in advance of meeting Line Manager, make sure they're achievable, and make sure you deliver.
Thanks. I’ve emailed Line Manager to ask if he would be available for a 1-to-1.I’ve written down some notes to hopefully guide me through this session.
anxious_ant said:
I know the Line Manager is willing to listen as the last time I had a 1-to-1 with him due to project pressure he authoritied me to take 1 day a week to work from home.
You might just have answered your question, could it be that he is trying to keep the pressure off but now gone too far the other way; inadvertently causing you to worry? Edited by anxious_ant on Sunday 10th June 16:23
A chat sounds like a good plan!!
mr mac i said:
You might just have answered your question, could it be that he is trying to keep the pressure off but now gone too far the other way; inadvertently causing you to worry?
A chat sounds like a good plan!!
Ah, never thought of it this way. Agreed a meeting this morning, a bit nervous but best get everything of my chest.A chat sounds like a good plan!!
It should be a 1-to-1 so hoping Jack don't pop in.
Have you considered that you may be experiencing a mental health issue? I'm not suggesting you're going mad or anything like that, but your post does mention anxiety.
Maybe work is actually going fine but your inner demons are changing your perception of the situation?
Have you got someone you really "trust" that you could talk to?
Whatever happens it won't be the end of the world.
Maybe work is actually going fine but your inner demons are changing your perception of the situation?
Have you got someone you really "trust" that you could talk to?
Whatever happens it won't be the end of the world.
I'm confused about some of the tenses in your post where you say there has beena re-organisation & you now have to stay away from home 3 nights a week. If this is the case maybe you appear to be somone who isn't quite part of the company? Would you relocate if moving expenses were offered or is it the case that you don't want to move?
Mr Pointy said:
I'm confused about some of the tenses in your post where you say there has beena re-organisation & you now have to stay away from home 3 nights a week. If this is the case maybe you appear to be somone who isn't quite part of the company? Would you relocate if moving expenses were offered or is it the case that you don't want to move?
Sorry should've been clearer. That was all in the last job. I would've considered relocating back then if a relocation package was on the table but that wasn't the case. My then Head of Department wanted to restructure and preferred senior staff to be located in the same office as him. I'm not the only one who left the company short after he joined as we don't really agree with his direction.Amused2death said:
Have you considered that you may be experiencing a mental health issue? I'm not suggesting you're going mad or anything like that, but your post does mention anxiety.
Maybe work is actually going fine but your inner demons are changing your perception of the situation?
Have you got someone you really "trust" that you could talk to?
Whatever happens it won't be the end of the world.
No doubt I could be experiencing mental health issue. Loads been going on both at work and personal life so it's been tough few months.Maybe work is actually going fine but your inner demons are changing your perception of the situation?
Have you got someone you really "trust" that you could talk to?
Whatever happens it won't be the end of the world.
Always try to man up when I can but lately do find myself struggling.
Definitely not end of the world though. Quite positive feedback from my 1-to-1 today. I was promised a proper review once current project is done and dusted and there's even talk about putting me through a technical course to boost my skills. So all looks good.
anonymous said:
[redacted]
As above I'm glad that the feedback from the 1-to-1 this morning was positive. Happy to hear employer willing to pay to put me through a technical training course which would boost my skills.Best thing I've heard today is the Line Manager saying that he'd never intentionally ignored me, more giving me space to crack on with my current project.
We discussed about short term goals with plan to sit down and review longer term goals which I think is a good step forward.
anxious_ant said:
Amused2death said:
Have you considered that you may be experiencing a mental health issue? I'm not suggesting you're going mad or anything like that, but your post does mention anxiety.
Maybe work is actually going fine but your inner demons are changing your perception of the situation?
Have you got someone you really "trust" that you could talk to?
Whatever happens it won't be the end of the world.
No doubt I could be experiencing mental health issue. Loads been going on both at work and personal life so it's been tough few months.Maybe work is actually going fine but your inner demons are changing your perception of the situation?
Have you got someone you really "trust" that you could talk to?
Whatever happens it won't be the end of the world.
Always try to man up when I can but lately do find myself struggling.
Definitely not end of the world though. Quite positive feedback from my 1-to-1 today. I was promised a proper review once current project is done and dusted and there's even talk about putting me through a technical course to boost my skills. So all looks good.
Thanks all for the kinds words. I don't have many people I can talk to in real life so it's comforting to get some kind advise here.
Work is currently a big part of my life hence I guess why it's affecting my mental health most.
Getting some mixed signal today following my 1-to-1 last week, boss signed off to send Jack to not one but two certification courses.
I doubt our department has enough budget to also send me to the course mentioned during the 1-to-1.
Hopefully it's not just empty promises. I will just have to think positive.
Work is currently a big part of my life hence I guess why it's affecting my mental health most.
Getting some mixed signal today following my 1-to-1 last week, boss signed off to send Jack to not one but two certification courses.
I doubt our department has enough budget to also send me to the course mentioned during the 1-to-1.
Hopefully it's not just empty promises. I will just have to think positive.
Ok a slight twist to this, I've been approached by a recruiter who happen to be next door neighbour and friends with a CEO who really liked my CV and would like to "have a chat".
New role would be a bit of a gamble career wise but bonus is that it's mainly home based with some UK/European travel and suggested salary was about 15-20k more than what I'm on now. Also told recruiter I'm committed until October but was told that shouldn't be a problem.
I know it's still a long way to go yet but this new role is really tempting. What is strange is that I'm feeling guilty of seeking other employment as my boss did mention that the board is definitely considering to invest in some software/hardware which is related to my specialty after the project I'm currently on completes. Apparently I will also get a review.
Now of the informal chat with the CEO next week goes well I'd most probably get a formal interview for which I've heard could be fast tracked due to the interest.
What would you do in my shoes? Should I really go for it? Has anyone here actually turn down a job offer before?
New role would be a bit of a gamble career wise but bonus is that it's mainly home based with some UK/European travel and suggested salary was about 15-20k more than what I'm on now. Also told recruiter I'm committed until October but was told that shouldn't be a problem.
I know it's still a long way to go yet but this new role is really tempting. What is strange is that I'm feeling guilty of seeking other employment as my boss did mention that the board is definitely considering to invest in some software/hardware which is related to my specialty after the project I'm currently on completes. Apparently I will also get a review.
Now of the informal chat with the CEO next week goes well I'd most probably get a formal interview for which I've heard could be fast tracked due to the interest.
What would you do in my shoes? Should I really go for it? Has anyone here actually turn down a job offer before?
Nothing to lose by keeping both irons in the fire is there?
See how your project pans out / future plans and also have a chat with the CEO to discuss any future opportunities.
Don't worry about loyalty to your current employer - we've all got bills to pay and they would bin you in a heartbeat if the situation required it. As they should - they aren't a charity.
See how your project pans out / future plans and also have a chat with the CEO to discuss any future opportunities.
Don't worry about loyalty to your current employer - we've all got bills to pay and they would bin you in a heartbeat if the situation required it. As they should - they aren't a charity.
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