Having the balls to quit a job
Discussion
On the face of it I'm pretty lucky. I'm 33, live in a nice enough area in the north west and earn £60K a year. Other than my mortgage - currently £80K outstanding on a home worth around £145K - I owe nothing to anyone and have around around £10K in the bank which is easily accessible, i.e. not tied up in ISAs etc. I've no missus or kids or responsibilities.
I left my previous role in June this year. All was going very well having been there just over a year, however a sudden change in line management and everything became unenjoyable and the relationship was strained. Luckily I was approached on LinkedIn and a long story short I was poached and moved on to where I am now.
The trouble is I'm hugely unhappy in the new role. It's not as was promised and I'm consistently, day in day out, undermined by my counterpart who can't seem to let his old role go. I'm learning nothing new and each day it feels like I'm putting in a massive effort to treat water, at best.
My trip to work is a round trip of 110 miles, so an hour each way, and each day is rarely anything fewer than 12 hours in addition to the expectation that you're checking in with the site of a weekend and replying to emails.
I leave the house at 06:30 and I'm rarely home before 20:00 by which time I'm at the point of exhaustion and fit for nothing.
It's not sustainable, in my view. All would be well if I were getting job satisfaction but it's precisely zero.
I'm in turmoil over what to do. The options are as I see it:
1. Put my notice in and work out my 3 months, allowing me to save a while longer and search for a full-time role. I've spoken to a couple of agencies I've used in the past and they know they'll land me a role, as they've done in the past. I'm open to relocation and letting my place out.
2. I'm regularly in touch with an ex manager who now works for himself. Around a year ago he set up an consultancy business and works for himself but the aspiration was always to have others working for him on a day rate, with him taking a cut. After a call yesterday he's confident he can land me a role by January at the latest. I don't doubt this as he's well connected. He's confident my top line figure will be £375 per day as an average day rate. And for tax reasons/dividend set up I'd be earning much more than I am now as a bottom line figure. Clearly there's the chance of being out of work for maybe 3 or 4 months a year, plus no pension contribution, sick or holiday pay. But that's the risk.
I'm at a cross roads. I'm starting to become a bit depressed with the current state of things and something has to give. I've lost interest in the things I used to enjoy and the weekends are usually spent snoozing and in a semi-vegitative state. I'm self aware enough to know they're classic signs of depression. My work/life balance leans towards 90% work and as a single guy I'm missing out on the chance of ever meeting anyone.
I could sustain myself on savings alone for maybe 5 months or so if I were to leave with no job in sight.
Apologies for the moan.
What'd you do? Search for full-time work in the hope you'd roll a six instead of another one. Or take the plunge and go self employed / interim on a day rate?
Thank you.
I left my previous role in June this year. All was going very well having been there just over a year, however a sudden change in line management and everything became unenjoyable and the relationship was strained. Luckily I was approached on LinkedIn and a long story short I was poached and moved on to where I am now.
The trouble is I'm hugely unhappy in the new role. It's not as was promised and I'm consistently, day in day out, undermined by my counterpart who can't seem to let his old role go. I'm learning nothing new and each day it feels like I'm putting in a massive effort to treat water, at best.
My trip to work is a round trip of 110 miles, so an hour each way, and each day is rarely anything fewer than 12 hours in addition to the expectation that you're checking in with the site of a weekend and replying to emails.
I leave the house at 06:30 and I'm rarely home before 20:00 by which time I'm at the point of exhaustion and fit for nothing.
It's not sustainable, in my view. All would be well if I were getting job satisfaction but it's precisely zero.
I'm in turmoil over what to do. The options are as I see it:
1. Put my notice in and work out my 3 months, allowing me to save a while longer and search for a full-time role. I've spoken to a couple of agencies I've used in the past and they know they'll land me a role, as they've done in the past. I'm open to relocation and letting my place out.
2. I'm regularly in touch with an ex manager who now works for himself. Around a year ago he set up an consultancy business and works for himself but the aspiration was always to have others working for him on a day rate, with him taking a cut. After a call yesterday he's confident he can land me a role by January at the latest. I don't doubt this as he's well connected. He's confident my top line figure will be £375 per day as an average day rate. And for tax reasons/dividend set up I'd be earning much more than I am now as a bottom line figure. Clearly there's the chance of being out of work for maybe 3 or 4 months a year, plus no pension contribution, sick or holiday pay. But that's the risk.
I'm at a cross roads. I'm starting to become a bit depressed with the current state of things and something has to give. I've lost interest in the things I used to enjoy and the weekends are usually spent snoozing and in a semi-vegitative state. I'm self aware enough to know they're classic signs of depression. My work/life balance leans towards 90% work and as a single guy I'm missing out on the chance of ever meeting anyone.
I could sustain myself on savings alone for maybe 5 months or so if I were to leave with no job in sight.
Apologies for the moan.
What'd you do? Search for full-time work in the hope you'd roll a six instead of another one. Or take the plunge and go self employed / interim on a day rate?
Thank you.
First thing I'd do is talk to your manager and tell him what you've told us!
If he's the one holding you back, tell him it's not what you were promised and you'll be moving on.
But from my long experience, there is always another job out there for people who know what they are doing.
You sound like you do, so move on!
If he's the one holding you back, tell him it's not what you were promised and you'll be moving on.
But from my long experience, there is always another job out there for people who know what they are doing.
You sound like you do, so move on!
Cheers.
Probably should've added, my current manager is interim and has been there only slightly longer than I have. He works for himself too and is due to leave at the end of January.
We had a very honest conversation yesterday and doesn't disagree with my view on things. I raised the feedback I had from a few members of my team confiding in me that my counterpart had been sniffing about, asking whether I was offering the right support and what I was doing with my time. Clearly I wasn't happy and raised it. In fairness, he immediately flagged it to others more senior, including board level, all of whom claim it wasn't their directive and the guys chosen to do it off his own back. Either way, whether they were complicit or not it's unacceptable and makes you feel as welcome or valued as a fart in a spacesuit.
Anyhow, my boss sees the place for what it is - bloody awful - and shares my concerns and feelings over the the business' blinkered view that the sun shines out of my counterparts a*se despite much evidence to show it doesn't. He describes my role as being given a 'hospital pass'. I'd no idea what that meant until I Google'd it.
Anyhow, he's offered to help out with finding a new role if I were to go down the interim route.
Probably should've added, my current manager is interim and has been there only slightly longer than I have. He works for himself too and is due to leave at the end of January.
We had a very honest conversation yesterday and doesn't disagree with my view on things. I raised the feedback I had from a few members of my team confiding in me that my counterpart had been sniffing about, asking whether I was offering the right support and what I was doing with my time. Clearly I wasn't happy and raised it. In fairness, he immediately flagged it to others more senior, including board level, all of whom claim it wasn't their directive and the guys chosen to do it off his own back. Either way, whether they were complicit or not it's unacceptable and makes you feel as welcome or valued as a fart in a spacesuit.
Anyhow, my boss sees the place for what it is - bloody awful - and shares my concerns and feelings over the the business' blinkered view that the sun shines out of my counterparts a*se despite much evidence to show it doesn't. He describes my role as being given a 'hospital pass'. I'd no idea what that meant until I Google'd it.
Anyhow, he's offered to help out with finding a new role if I were to go down the interim route.
Edited by pistonheadshelp on Friday 2nd November 20:50
Just do it then. Best case is you look now and someone takes you on and lets you work 3 months notice. Second best is your employer lets you go early. worst is you hand in your notice on Monday and sit it out and look fora job in December. I think you're kidding yourself with the day rate stuff though, no pension, sick pay, holidays, in real that sort of thing is pretty crap.
PS 60k for 5 12 hour days is 40k plus overtime ;-)
PS 60k for 5 12 hour days is 40k plus overtime ;-)
Thanks guys.
I think the notice period would be bearable because there'd be light at the end of the tunnel. I'd know it's finite. And I'd be able to bag a few more grand savings.
In fairness we're now entering our peak working period and it'll flow through to January. I work as part of a senior team - my bosses and more senior counterparts all seem decent enough on the face of it and I owe it at least to them to see the three months out and not compromise what the period the trading year's based on.
As for the day rate, I could maybe commend £400 or so but I'd have to go solo rather than working as Ltd company under the umbrella of somebody else who's firing work my way.
The pension contribution is pretty crap anyhow at 2.5% in the current role.
I think the notice period would be bearable because there'd be light at the end of the tunnel. I'd know it's finite. And I'd be able to bag a few more grand savings.
In fairness we're now entering our peak working period and it'll flow through to January. I work as part of a senior team - my bosses and more senior counterparts all seem decent enough on the face of it and I owe it at least to them to see the three months out and not compromise what the period the trading year's based on.
As for the day rate, I could maybe commend £400 or so but I'd have to go solo rather than working as Ltd company under the umbrella of somebody else who's firing work my way.
The pension contribution is pretty crap anyhow at 2.5% in the current role.
I quit a £50k a year job because I didn't agree with the culture in the company (blatant bullying and blame by members of a certain department - which upper management and HR were knowingly allowing to happen in order to not make waves).
Spent 6 months managing a build project on my house instead.
Spent 6 months managing a build project on my house instead.
Change jobs to one you'll enjoy.
Even if it means dropping money.
You'll be happier, more content, and wonder why you didn't do it earlier.
It's always been the way I am, and I've got the most positive outlook on life, all because I enjoy getting up in the morning.
My missus used to work in events, worked weekends etc, didn't like it, heavy lifting, late finishes, earned as much as most people I know in a week than they earn in a month, on me telling her there's more to life than work, she's done courses to do beauty, and now works from home.
Absolutely loves it, is so much happier, and is probably gonna do it for life.
If you're unhappy, move, take the cut.
Even if it means dropping money.
You'll be happier, more content, and wonder why you didn't do it earlier.
It's always been the way I am, and I've got the most positive outlook on life, all because I enjoy getting up in the morning.
My missus used to work in events, worked weekends etc, didn't like it, heavy lifting, late finishes, earned as much as most people I know in a week than they earn in a month, on me telling her there's more to life than work, she's done courses to do beauty, and now works from home.
Absolutely loves it, is so much happier, and is probably gonna do it for life.
If you're unhappy, move, take the cut.
OP:in general I would say quit the job which is making you miserable & take up the offer to work for your friend. However, the tax regime for one man companies (PSCs) is changing so you really need to take advice on how you work & the contracts you have - are you inside or outside IR35 is the key. Have a read of this thread & be very clear on how you will be working:
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
https://www.pistonheads.com/gassing/topic.asp?h=0&...
Thanks for the replies. Appreciated.
I'll look into the tax arrangements, and the person I'd be working for is properly savvy with that sort of thing too which is helpful.
I get the hours divided by pay arguments going on, however I don't want to be looking for a role which'll see my income halved just so I can do 9-5. The type of industry I work in means 9-5 doesn't really exist. That said, there are plenty of others earning similar money in the same industry in the same sorts of roles not doing 12 hours each day plus the other w/e expectations.
I could in theory earn half the money I do now and survive well enough but the goal's always been to clear as much as, if not all, my £80K mortgage by the time I'm 40 or so. My pension pot is lousy at £8K so really need a decent income to start paying heavily into this as I've just started to do.
I'm happy to cut my salary from the £60K mark to work a 10 hour day and a lesser commute, so a bit of a happy medium.
I'll look into the tax arrangements, and the person I'd be working for is properly savvy with that sort of thing too which is helpful.
I get the hours divided by pay arguments going on, however I don't want to be looking for a role which'll see my income halved just so I can do 9-5. The type of industry I work in means 9-5 doesn't really exist. That said, there are plenty of others earning similar money in the same industry in the same sorts of roles not doing 12 hours each day plus the other w/e expectations.
I could in theory earn half the money I do now and survive well enough but the goal's always been to clear as much as, if not all, my £80K mortgage by the time I'm 40 or so. My pension pot is lousy at £8K so really need a decent income to start paying heavily into this as I've just started to do.
I'm happy to cut my salary from the £60K mark to work a 10 hour day and a lesser commute, so a bit of a happy medium.
You sound like you're in an ideal position: single, ability to relocate anywhere, manager with skills and experience, financially stable with no debts. You can do anything and go anywhere you like.
It might sound like hippie nonsense, but have an aim broadly for three things:
family, work, self/spirituality. What do you want, what is the most important thing in these three areas? Dedicate time to these other objectives, be strict. 2 hours extra at work is 2 hours less on yourself or your family. It's the brutal truth - doing it at peaks is fine, but doing it 5 days a week 46 weeks a year is not!
You'll find that you want your job to align with your personal values too and it'll give you harmony. It doesn't sound like you've spent much time on your family/friends or self (relationship, growth, religious/non-religious beliefs, sport hobby). People who don't have a balance, get shot sideways when things go wrong at work. There's no perspective, no other bases to help spread the tension. I have friends who don't earn a lot, but in my mind are very rich in life and happy.
On the career side, it's always better to have a job whilst looking for a job - it makes you more attractive and gives you the confidence to negotiate - but if it is now seriously affecting your health you might need to be more drastic. Before that, is there any way you can reduce the workload at work? Can you delegate more? Can you change processes, agree to move risk levels so that some work is done less well and it can move out faster but deliver top notch work in 2-3 areas that really matter for the team/business? If there are strategies you can use to reduce work, try that first. The idea is to be more effective with the big things that matter, rather than merely spend time on everything.
Don't rush in to another role. The contracting gig is not as easy as it sounds. £350 a day is not gonna cut it after you factor in all your costs and the risks you're accepting, in my head that's not worth a £50k perm job. A £60k per job in the north, is worth £80k in the south where living costs are high. If you can find a job closer to work, that has flexible working, suddenly you're in a pretty attractive job even if the face numbers don't say so. The grass is usually not greener on the other side.
As per above, it's really important to have a top level aim in your career. Don't just meander and let jobs define your career; have a clear aim in mind of where you want to play. It does take time to steer your career, networking can be slow, developing skills and tailoring experiences to jobs you want in 3-5 years time is slow but much more effective long-term. Don't jump at the first opportunity, you could end up in the same place.
If you can, I would reduce your commitment at work, use your time to sow some seeds for your next move. The agency is a start, get hooked in to LinkedIn as well. Find managers in your field, companies you can reach out to, ex-colleagues, read up on what's going on in the market etc.
Good luck. Don't keep working and forget about yourself. The old saying "time is money" is utter nonsense. Your time is finite, very finite, but money is not. You can always earn more. Don't waste your time and take your eye off the ball with the things that really matter in your life. What are you going to want to achieve when you're dead? Work and life can balance really well, you just need to be really clear on what you want from each.
pistonheadshelp said:
I'm at a cross roads. I'm starting to become a bit depressed with the current state of things and something has to give. I've lost interest in the things I used to enjoy and the weekends are usually spent snoozing and in a semi-vegitative state. I'm self aware enough to know they're classic signs of depression. My work/life balance leans towards 90% work and as a single guy I'm missing out on the chance of ever meeting anyone.
What'd you do? Search for full-time work in the hope you'd roll a six instead of another one. Or take the plunge and go self employed / interim on a day rate?
If I were in your shoes, I would foremost re-evaluate what I want out of life. You are literally spending the best years of your life, your blood and sweat, for jobs that would replace you in a week. Your life center is based on your job. People who have a career based centre get depressed as soon as things go poorly at work. You dont have any balance and you are headed for a serious midlife crisis.What'd you do? Search for full-time work in the hope you'd roll a six instead of another one. Or take the plunge and go self employed / interim on a day rate?
It might sound like hippie nonsense, but have an aim broadly for three things:
family, work, self/spirituality. What do you want, what is the most important thing in these three areas? Dedicate time to these other objectives, be strict. 2 hours extra at work is 2 hours less on yourself or your family. It's the brutal truth - doing it at peaks is fine, but doing it 5 days a week 46 weeks a year is not!
You'll find that you want your job to align with your personal values too and it'll give you harmony. It doesn't sound like you've spent much time on your family/friends or self (relationship, growth, religious/non-religious beliefs, sport hobby). People who don't have a balance, get shot sideways when things go wrong at work. There's no perspective, no other bases to help spread the tension. I have friends who don't earn a lot, but in my mind are very rich in life and happy.
On the career side, it's always better to have a job whilst looking for a job - it makes you more attractive and gives you the confidence to negotiate - but if it is now seriously affecting your health you might need to be more drastic. Before that, is there any way you can reduce the workload at work? Can you delegate more? Can you change processes, agree to move risk levels so that some work is done less well and it can move out faster but deliver top notch work in 2-3 areas that really matter for the team/business? If there are strategies you can use to reduce work, try that first. The idea is to be more effective with the big things that matter, rather than merely spend time on everything.
Don't rush in to another role. The contracting gig is not as easy as it sounds. £350 a day is not gonna cut it after you factor in all your costs and the risks you're accepting, in my head that's not worth a £50k perm job. A £60k per job in the north, is worth £80k in the south where living costs are high. If you can find a job closer to work, that has flexible working, suddenly you're in a pretty attractive job even if the face numbers don't say so. The grass is usually not greener on the other side.
As per above, it's really important to have a top level aim in your career. Don't just meander and let jobs define your career; have a clear aim in mind of where you want to play. It does take time to steer your career, networking can be slow, developing skills and tailoring experiences to jobs you want in 3-5 years time is slow but much more effective long-term. Don't jump at the first opportunity, you could end up in the same place.
If you can, I would reduce your commitment at work, use your time to sow some seeds for your next move. The agency is a start, get hooked in to LinkedIn as well. Find managers in your field, companies you can reach out to, ex-colleagues, read up on what's going on in the market etc.
Good luck. Don't keep working and forget about yourself. The old saying "time is money" is utter nonsense. Your time is finite, very finite, but money is not. You can always earn more. Don't waste your time and take your eye off the ball with the things that really matter in your life. What are you going to want to achieve when you're dead? Work and life can balance really well, you just need to be really clear on what you want from each.
£80k mtg is Little perhaps what £350pm?
If you’re single with cash in the bank just get a couple of lodgers (maybe attractive women!) that would cover your mortgage and leave you with some left over and either then
A) go travelling for a year and take some time out
B) crack on at work whilst the lodgers help pay your mortgage and pay your mortgage off ASAP in 2 years then go travelling whilst keeping lodgers in your home so you’re getting say £700pm spare cash from them, mortgage free, and then go travelling around the Far East
Then come back and do contract work and every time your contract ends just go abroad for a month or so and enjoy life
Ultimately you may end up meeting a life partner and at that point if you have a house for cash and so does she then you’re ok anyway financially speaking
So maybe don’t take life too seriously
Far too many people burdened with big mortgages but having a poor quality of life - just look at the commuter towns outside London - people getting fat older greyer and being run into the ground - far better to avoid that imho
If you’re single with cash in the bank just get a couple of lodgers (maybe attractive women!) that would cover your mortgage and leave you with some left over and either then
A) go travelling for a year and take some time out
B) crack on at work whilst the lodgers help pay your mortgage and pay your mortgage off ASAP in 2 years then go travelling whilst keeping lodgers in your home so you’re getting say £700pm spare cash from them, mortgage free, and then go travelling around the Far East
Then come back and do contract work and every time your contract ends just go abroad for a month or so and enjoy life
Ultimately you may end up meeting a life partner and at that point if you have a house for cash and so does she then you’re ok anyway financially speaking
So maybe don’t take life too seriously
Far too many people burdened with big mortgages but having a poor quality of life - just look at the commuter towns outside London - people getting fat older greyer and being run into the ground - far better to avoid that imho
silent ninja said:
If I were in your shoes, I would foremost re-evaluate what I want out of life. You are literally spending the best years of your life, your blood and sweat, for jobs that would replace you in a week. Your life center is based on your job. People who have a career based centre get depressed as soon as things go poorly at work. You dont have any balance and you are headed for a serious midlife crisis.
It might sound like hippie nonsense, but have an aim broadly for three things:
family, work, self/spirituality. What do you want, what is the most important thing in these three areas? Dedicate time to these other objectives, be strict. 2 hours extra at work is 2 hours less on yourself or your family. It's the brutal truth - doing it at peaks is fine, but doing it 5 days a week 46 weeks a year is not!
You'll find that you want your job to align with your personal values too and it'll give you harmony. It doesn't sound like you've spent much time on your family/friends or self (relationship, growth, religious/non-religious beliefs, sport hobby). People who don't have a balance, get shot sideways when things go wrong at work. There's no perspective, no other bases to help spread the tension. I have friends who don't earn a lot, but in my mind are very rich in life and happy.
On the career side, it's always better to have a job whilst looking for a job - it makes you more attractive and gives you the confidence to negotiate - but if it is now seriously affecting your health you might need to be more drastic. Before that, is there any way you can reduce the workload at work? Can you delegate more? Can you change processes, agree to move risk levels so that some work is done less well and it can move out faster but deliver top notch work in 2-3 areas that really matter for the team/business? If there are strategies you can use to reduce work, try that first. The idea is to be more effective with the big things that matter, rather than merely spend time on everything.
Don't rush in to another role. The contracting gig is not as easy as it sounds. £350 a day is not gonna cut it after you factor in all your costs and the risks you're accepting, in my head that's not worth a £50k perm job. A £60k per job in the north, is worth £80k in the south where living costs are high. If you can find a job closer to work, that has flexible working, suddenly you're in a pretty attractive job even if the face numbers don't say so. The grass is usually not greener on the other side.
As per above, it's really important to have a top level aim in your career. Don't just meander and let jobs define your career; have a clear aim in mind of where you want to play. It does take time to steer your career, networking can be slow, developing skills and tailoring experiences to jobs you want in 3-5 years time is slow but much more effective long-term. Don't jump at the first opportunity, you could end up in the same place.
If you can, I would reduce your commitment at work, use your time to sow some seeds for your next move. The agency is a start, get hooked in to LinkedIn as well. Find managers in your field, companies you can reach out to, ex-colleagues, read up on what's going on in the market etc.
Good luck. Don't keep working and forget about yourself. The old saying "time is money" is utter nonsense. Your time is finite, very finite, but money is not. You can always earn more. Don't waste your time and take your eye off the ball with the things that really matter in your life. What are you going to want to achieve when you're dead? Work and life can balance really well, you just need to be really clear on what you want from each.
That's a pretty perceptive and poignant post. It pretty much hits the nail on the head..It might sound like hippie nonsense, but have an aim broadly for three things:
family, work, self/spirituality. What do you want, what is the most important thing in these three areas? Dedicate time to these other objectives, be strict. 2 hours extra at work is 2 hours less on yourself or your family. It's the brutal truth - doing it at peaks is fine, but doing it 5 days a week 46 weeks a year is not!
You'll find that you want your job to align with your personal values too and it'll give you harmony. It doesn't sound like you've spent much time on your family/friends or self (relationship, growth, religious/non-religious beliefs, sport hobby). People who don't have a balance, get shot sideways when things go wrong at work. There's no perspective, no other bases to help spread the tension. I have friends who don't earn a lot, but in my mind are very rich in life and happy.
On the career side, it's always better to have a job whilst looking for a job - it makes you more attractive and gives you the confidence to negotiate - but if it is now seriously affecting your health you might need to be more drastic. Before that, is there any way you can reduce the workload at work? Can you delegate more? Can you change processes, agree to move risk levels so that some work is done less well and it can move out faster but deliver top notch work in 2-3 areas that really matter for the team/business? If there are strategies you can use to reduce work, try that first. The idea is to be more effective with the big things that matter, rather than merely spend time on everything.
Don't rush in to another role. The contracting gig is not as easy as it sounds. £350 a day is not gonna cut it after you factor in all your costs and the risks you're accepting, in my head that's not worth a £50k perm job. A £60k per job in the north, is worth £80k in the south where living costs are high. If you can find a job closer to work, that has flexible working, suddenly you're in a pretty attractive job even if the face numbers don't say so. The grass is usually not greener on the other side.
As per above, it's really important to have a top level aim in your career. Don't just meander and let jobs define your career; have a clear aim in mind of where you want to play. It does take time to steer your career, networking can be slow, developing skills and tailoring experiences to jobs you want in 3-5 years time is slow but much more effective long-term. Don't jump at the first opportunity, you could end up in the same place.
If you can, I would reduce your commitment at work, use your time to sow some seeds for your next move. The agency is a start, get hooked in to LinkedIn as well. Find managers in your field, companies you can reach out to, ex-colleagues, read up on what's going on in the market etc.
Good luck. Don't keep working and forget about yourself. The old saying "time is money" is utter nonsense. Your time is finite, very finite, but money is not. You can always earn more. Don't waste your time and take your eye off the ball with the things that really matter in your life. What are you going to want to achieve when you're dead? Work and life can balance really well, you just need to be really clear on what you want from each.
Until a few years ago I'd spent around 5 years with the same company but relocating all over the UK, never staying in the same place for more than a year. This allowed me to gain some great experience and the job I'm in today. But it's been at a huge personal cost. I'd never really met any mates, keeping people at arm's length as I always knew I'd be moving on again. So it was pretty isolating. I'm now settled having bought a house a couple of years ago but the work-related problems remain.
Growing up I always knew I wanted to earn decent money. Not to be a flash b
d but not to have the worry about bills landing on the mat which was the environment I grew up in. I've never been naive enough to think money brings you happiness though. Fast forward a good few years and whilst the money's there not much else is. Everything but the girl, and some decent mates.You're right in saying that when work's not going well it becomes overwhelming because there's nothing and nobody else to help buffer it.
I'd made some crap financial decisions over the years - mostly around buying cars when things aren't going well to make myself feel a bit better - only to get buyer's remorse weeks later when I know it's set me back from the ultimate goal of home ownership and financial freedom.
Anyhow, I recognise the signs now and the urge soon disappears. I'd rather have the money in the bank and know I'm well on my way to the goal. I feel extremely lucky compared to many at my age to have no debt other than a mortgage. But then again it's all relative - I've not gone down the £500pm PCP route as much as I could afford it - whereas others might be as they are because they've done the opposite.
I've not got a big mortgage for the reasons you mention. I don't want the burden and the worry. I'm not out to impress anyone with a big house or flash car.
Having been rough a few nasty and manipulative relationships in the past I've been single for 4 years now. I've just not gotten myself out there to find anyone. And this might sound shocking but I don't ever want to put myself in a position where what's mine is put at risk having worked hard to get what's around me. Else it'll all have been for nothing. Working as I have done hasn't bought me happiness but it least it's bought me a little bit of security and financial stability. If that got taken away after all that I'm not sure I could bounce back.
I'd made a couple of alterations to my LinkedIn profile on Friday and I've already had a few people speculatively wanting to see me. And I don't mean agencies or recruiters. I'm very conscious not to jump from one crisis to another.
What concerns me over the interim route is the lack of stability. I'd be living away from home 5 days a week in a hotel, so probably wouldn't achieve what I'm looking for.
I'll work out exactly what it is other than financial that I'm wanting. All I know at the minute is that it's time and a work life balance I want. What I'll do with it I'm I'll work out. I'm sure that'll come in tandem with getting time back.
Edited by pistonheadshelp on Saturday 3rd November 18:06
My mortgage is just under £400 a month with 23 years to run. I'm not on a great rate at the moment since I only had a small deposit a few years ago but due to remortgage in the new year. With a hell of a lot more equity the monthlies will drop to £340 or so.
I'd considered the travel option with I'm not in the right frame of mind. You can't take a holiday from yourself so to speak.
If I were travelling between interim roles I'm not sure I'd enjoy it, with the worry about using up money and not knowing quite how long it'd be before the next role came up.
I think I'm 5+ years away from interim work being viable.
One thing I've wanted to do is get a nice motorhome and stay abroad for maybe 4-6 months a year, travelling about it. I used to be very fit a few years ago, covering 150 miles on the bike over a weekend easily. It appeals to load up my bike and trainers and ride around France and Italy. When my parents got financially straight a few years ago they bought an awesome low profile Hymer and I've been away in it a few times across Europe and loved it!
I'd considered the travel option with I'm not in the right frame of mind. You can't take a holiday from yourself so to speak.
If I were travelling between interim roles I'm not sure I'd enjoy it, with the worry about using up money and not knowing quite how long it'd be before the next role came up.
I think I'm 5+ years away from interim work being viable.
One thing I've wanted to do is get a nice motorhome and stay abroad for maybe 4-6 months a year, travelling about it. I used to be very fit a few years ago, covering 150 miles on the bike over a weekend easily. It appeals to load up my bike and trainers and ride around France and Italy. When my parents got financially straight a few years ago they bought an awesome low profile Hymer and I've been away in it a few times across Europe and loved it!
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