Should women return to work after having children?
Discussion
I have had several conversations with friends about whether or not their spouses returned to work after having children. It seems that whilst some have, others have been quite reluctant to do so - even part-time.
One chap, an accountant, recounted that his new wife (not pregnant) asked if he minded if she immediately gave up work!
My wife works but I would like her to actually pursue a career again, despite having school age children. It is not just about the money, I think it is good for people to work if they are able.
So, should women with school-age children return to work, or not?
One chap, an accountant, recounted that his new wife (not pregnant) asked if he minded if she immediately gave up work!
My wife works but I would like her to actually pursue a career again, despite having school age children. It is not just about the money, I think it is good for people to work if they are able.
So, should women with school-age children return to work, or not?
It's less about whether they should and more about whether they can, isn't it?
If the mother's job is family friendly and there is family local to look after the kids from time to time then great.
If the mother's job involves a lot of unsociable hours and no family nearby then not so great as the kid will spend all its life in childcare.
If the mother's job is family friendly and there is family local to look after the kids from time to time then great.
If the mother's job involves a lot of unsociable hours and no family nearby then not so great as the kid will spend all its life in childcare.
Absolutely and let the husband get a chance to take time off and look after the child.
Afterall, women are better in the workplace, better at board level, better all round from what we are told so why not let them get in with the daily grind so that we menfolk can get a fair crack at the whip of raising the children.
Afterall, women are better in the workplace, better at board level, better all round from what we are told so why not let them get in with the daily grind so that we menfolk can get a fair crack at the whip of raising the children.
So said:
One chap, an accountant, recounted that his new wife (not pregnant) asked if he minded if she immediately gave up work!
It's not that long ago that female Civil Servants had to resign on marriage.My wife had a few years away from work (Civil Service) after she had kids but even she got bored and jumped at the chance when asked to go back part-time. Both our daughters are married with kids and have pretty full-on jobs - feels such a shame that they can't be around for their kids, at least until they start school.
chow pan toon said:
I know this goes against most PH advice on women (sorry, Females) but surely it's up to them?
Well not really - surely it is a decision husband and wife should make together, considering if she does not return to work then they have to live on only the husband's salary?TwistingMyMelon said:
Each to their own
Mine hasn't returned, im begging her to as could do with money!
....
^^^^ THISMine hasn't returned, im begging her to as could do with money!
....
Ours are 16 & 18, and will be in high school until they're 19, then off to Uni, likely outside our adopted home country
The extra cash will help, as I expect it will need to go directly to them for their living costs .... I can't cover it ALL.
I know my wife doesn't want to have just any job, but the minimum wage locally is very good, so working at the local supermarket would be ~€1,900/gross/month!
Integroo said:
chow pan toon said:
I know this goes against most PH advice on women (sorry, Females) but surely it's up to them?
Well not really - surely it is a decision husband and wife should make together, considering if she does not return to work then they have to live on only the husband's salary?I have a mate who married a (unbeknownst to him) very traditional girl. They got married and when she got pregnant, she let it be known in no uncertain terms that she would not be working until the child was of a responsible age, therefore he would need to be the bread winner.
He was a bit taken aback, as he wasn't expecting that financially, but went along with it.
I think it depends on your circumstances, not least finances and support network.
Brainpox said:
It's less about whether they should and more about whether they can, isn't it?
If the mother's job is family friendly and there is family local to look after the kids from time to time then great.
If the mother's job involves a lot of unsociable hours and no family nearby then not so great as the kid will spend all its life in childcare.
You never know, but maybe the father could look after the kids for a bit occasionally...If the mother's job is family friendly and there is family local to look after the kids from time to time then great.
If the mother's job involves a lot of unsociable hours and no family nearby then not so great as the kid will spend all its life in childcare.
Muzzer79 said:
This.
I have a mate who married a (unbeknownst to him) very traditional girl. They got married and when she got pregnant, she let it be known in no uncertain terms that she would not be working until the child was of a responsible age, therefore he would need to be the bread winner.
He was a bit taken aback, as he wasn't expecting that financially, but went along with it.
I think it depends on your circumstances, not least finances and support network.
I have a mate who married a (unbeknownst to him) very traditional girl. They got married and when she got pregnant, she let it be known in no uncertain terms that she would not be working until the child was of a responsible age, therefore he would need to be the bread winner.
He was a bit taken aback, as he wasn't expecting that financially, but went along with it.
I think it depends on your circumstances, not least finances and support network.
The conversation never arose beforehand?!Muzzer79 said:
Integroo said:
chow pan toon said:
I know this goes against most PH advice on women (sorry, Females) but surely it's up to them?
Well not really - surely it is a decision husband and wife should make together, considering if she does not return to work then they have to live on only the husband's salary?I have a mate who married a (unbeknownst to him) very traditional girl. They got married and when she got pregnant, she let it be known in no uncertain terms that she would not be working until the child was of a responsible age, therefore he would need to be the bread winner.
He was a bit taken aback, as he wasn't expecting that financially, but went along with it.
I think it depends on your circumstances, not least finances and support network.
So many factors come into this.
When they are young it comes down to childcare options and costs. If you are lucky and have willing grandparents going to work even part time is a major financial contribution.
If on the other hand help isn't to hand the childcare fees can easily wipe out a salary if the mother didn't have high earnings before hand.
Mental health can come into it too and a lot of mothers sometimes unknowingly suffer with PND which can affect them for years after birth.
A perfect balance might be that both parents only work 4 days a week. Each parent gets time at home with the child and the bonds that are built are equal. This wouldn't be the best option for a couple where one parent earns way more than the other though.
Whatever a couple decides, it wouldn't seem fair to continue being a stay at home parent when the children are school age if the other parent was working full time, and still struggling to make ends meet. The stress and resentment that builds could quite easily destroy a relationship.
My opinion is also one that it is healthy to work and have a balance and being at home with young children full time can be exhausting and not all that rewarding.
However, some women thrive on it and see parenthood as their identity.
Whether the mother works full time, part time or is stay at home full time there is always a feeling of being judged from other mothers for that decision.
I've had comments from some that they couldn't ever possibly leave their children like I do
When they are young it comes down to childcare options and costs. If you are lucky and have willing grandparents going to work even part time is a major financial contribution.
If on the other hand help isn't to hand the childcare fees can easily wipe out a salary if the mother didn't have high earnings before hand.
Mental health can come into it too and a lot of mothers sometimes unknowingly suffer with PND which can affect them for years after birth.
A perfect balance might be that both parents only work 4 days a week. Each parent gets time at home with the child and the bonds that are built are equal. This wouldn't be the best option for a couple where one parent earns way more than the other though.
Whatever a couple decides, it wouldn't seem fair to continue being a stay at home parent when the children are school age if the other parent was working full time, and still struggling to make ends meet. The stress and resentment that builds could quite easily destroy a relationship.
My opinion is also one that it is healthy to work and have a balance and being at home with young children full time can be exhausting and not all that rewarding.
However, some women thrive on it and see parenthood as their identity.
Whether the mother works full time, part time or is stay at home full time there is always a feeling of being judged from other mothers for that decision.
I've had comments from some that they couldn't ever possibly leave their children like I do
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