Manager being difficult following resignation...
Discussion
Need some advice if possible please.
For the last two years I have been keeping a close eye on a new franchise on that has been opening up in a new area of the country. After a few false starts including COVID it’s due to open in January.
Now, without blowing my own horn I am well versed in said brand to the point that I was even able to obtain references from people very high up at the brand .
Long story short I got the job and after holding back 72 hours I handed my resignation to my Manager; the reason I delayed is because said Manager lost two members of staff that week and I did not want her to worry about another loss over the weekend.
So. The usual “Can I have a word in your office?” Question followed by me handing in my resignation.
The conversation was as blunt as this;
Her: “That was well timed wasn’t it. Where are you going?”
I answer where and say, “I know you lost two members of staff last week already so I didn’t want to make it worse.”
By this point, she hasn’t even opened my resignation letter and is already walking out the door in a huff. I try to answer with “I’m sorry to leave you in this situation.” but I can even get out “I’m sorry” before she retorts, “Well you’re obviously NOT sorry are you!” before disappearing upstairs to speak to Upper Management.
Not a, “So why are you leaving?”, “What can we do to change your mind?” etc. Simple as that.
40 minutes later. She’s back downstairs. 40 minutes after that she’s emailed confirming my leaving date having refused the majority of my request to accrue my annual leave into my notice period.
An hour after that she’s emailed asking for all my company clothing to be returned. Luckily, I’ve never worn the cheap polyester crap they had made for us and also had a feeling she would be this petty so already saw this coming. So had the great pleasure of dumping a binliner of unused clothing in her office after that email
Now, I wasn’t expecting a balloon party or ticker tape parade. But I was expecting to be treated with with a degree of professionalism. Am I being unreasonable?
Anyway. My concern is I have to work with this clearly vicious person for the next 3 weeks and I’m now at the point where any enthusiasm I had for the job has now been eroded by her unacceptable behaviour. Any ideas what i do you make my life easier?
For the last two years I have been keeping a close eye on a new franchise on that has been opening up in a new area of the country. After a few false starts including COVID it’s due to open in January.
Now, without blowing my own horn I am well versed in said brand to the point that I was even able to obtain references from people very high up at the brand .
Long story short I got the job and after holding back 72 hours I handed my resignation to my Manager; the reason I delayed is because said Manager lost two members of staff that week and I did not want her to worry about another loss over the weekend.
So. The usual “Can I have a word in your office?” Question followed by me handing in my resignation.
The conversation was as blunt as this;
Her: “That was well timed wasn’t it. Where are you going?”
I answer where and say, “I know you lost two members of staff last week already so I didn’t want to make it worse.”
By this point, she hasn’t even opened my resignation letter and is already walking out the door in a huff. I try to answer with “I’m sorry to leave you in this situation.” but I can even get out “I’m sorry” before she retorts, “Well you’re obviously NOT sorry are you!” before disappearing upstairs to speak to Upper Management.
Not a, “So why are you leaving?”, “What can we do to change your mind?” etc. Simple as that.
40 minutes later. She’s back downstairs. 40 minutes after that she’s emailed confirming my leaving date having refused the majority of my request to accrue my annual leave into my notice period.
An hour after that she’s emailed asking for all my company clothing to be returned. Luckily, I’ve never worn the cheap polyester crap they had made for us and also had a feeling she would be this petty so already saw this coming. So had the great pleasure of dumping a binliner of unused clothing in her office after that email
Now, I wasn’t expecting a balloon party or ticker tape parade. But I was expecting to be treated with with a degree of professionalism. Am I being unreasonable?
Anyway. My concern is I have to work with this clearly vicious person for the next 3 weeks and I’m now at the point where any enthusiasm I had for the job has now been eroded by her unacceptable behaviour. Any ideas what i do you make my life easier?
Edited by NelsonM3 on Monday 19th October 23:20
I think it entirely validates your reasons for leaving.
You can either be the bigger person and continue to do the job to best of your ability (don't burn any bridges etc) or kick back and do the least amount possible to coast through to your end date. Depends how you want to leave really - but good luck with where you're going and well done!
You can either be the bigger person and continue to do the job to best of your ability (don't burn any bridges etc) or kick back and do the least amount possible to coast through to your end date. Depends how you want to leave really - but good luck with where you're going and well done!
No, you’re not being unreasonable.
Based on my own experience of a manager acting unfairly towards me my advice is as follows (some of it posted by others from the thread I started on here)
Is your mental health worth it? If she does anymore of this would you shrug it off or would it grate on you to the point of a reaction (that she wants) and you make things worse. If you can shrug it off and it stops you burning bridges with others there then staying with a short end date is potentially not too difficult. You never know when you might meet these other people and acting the bigger person now will stick with them.
My stance now personally is not to let others affect my mental state and that sort of behaviour is how it starts, but I’m aware that three weeks to go with another offer is a different proposition. Would you work three weeks without a safety helmet and safety boots on site was the example given to me for my office job and it really struck a cord with me. You wouldn’t, and if you have difficult personal situation at the time does she have the potential to give you more hassle you just don’t need?!
If you really don’t care about reputation and how you leave perhaps the going off sick suggestion and using that time more productively isn’t a bad shout. Can they make it more difficult for you? Try and withhold final payments etc. I’m guessing the reference isn’t needed but what if word gets back to those you’re working with in the new position?
Sorry appreciate I’ve waffled a bit there.
TLDR;
If references aren’t affected and you’re not worried about others then just don’t put up with it frankly so you can start a clear head for the new position.
If you might work with others again or have decent relationships with them and can handle the pettiness then ride it out and be the bigger person. Just be aware of how quickly that pettiness and undermining behaviour if it happens can drain you.
Based on my own experience of a manager acting unfairly towards me my advice is as follows (some of it posted by others from the thread I started on here)
Is your mental health worth it? If she does anymore of this would you shrug it off or would it grate on you to the point of a reaction (that she wants) and you make things worse. If you can shrug it off and it stops you burning bridges with others there then staying with a short end date is potentially not too difficult. You never know when you might meet these other people and acting the bigger person now will stick with them.
My stance now personally is not to let others affect my mental state and that sort of behaviour is how it starts, but I’m aware that three weeks to go with another offer is a different proposition. Would you work three weeks without a safety helmet and safety boots on site was the example given to me for my office job and it really struck a cord with me. You wouldn’t, and if you have difficult personal situation at the time does she have the potential to give you more hassle you just don’t need?!
If you really don’t care about reputation and how you leave perhaps the going off sick suggestion and using that time more productively isn’t a bad shout. Can they make it more difficult for you? Try and withhold final payments etc. I’m guessing the reference isn’t needed but what if word gets back to those you’re working with in the new position?
Sorry appreciate I’ve waffled a bit there.
TLDR;
If references aren’t affected and you’re not worried about others then just don’t put up with it frankly so you can start a clear head for the new position.
If you might work with others again or have decent relationships with them and can handle the pettiness then ride it out and be the bigger person. Just be aware of how quickly that pettiness and undermining behaviour if it happens can drain you.
Edited by Birdster on Monday 19th October 23:49
I've had this before.
When I handed my resignation in, I explained it was for career advancement reasons but my manager took it personally and became petty.
The irony is, he joined the company a few months earlier from a competitor due to the same reasons but could only see me leaving as causing him a problem - i.e. he would have to recruit a replacement.
OP, don't sweat it - it says more about how poor your manager is at their job than anything you have done - keep your head down and your last few weeks will fly by.
When I handed my resignation in, I explained it was for career advancement reasons but my manager took it personally and became petty.
The irony is, he joined the company a few months earlier from a competitor due to the same reasons but could only see me leaving as causing him a problem - i.e. he would have to recruit a replacement.
OP, don't sweat it - it says more about how poor your manager is at their job than anything you have done - keep your head down and your last few weeks will fly by.
NelsonM3 said:
Long story short I got the job and after holding back 72 hours I handed my resignation to my Manager; the reason I delayed is because said Manager lost two members of staff that week ...
The conversation was as blunt as this;
Her: “That was well timed wasn’t it. Where are you going?”
The people above and around her will be judging her for this. Losing so many staff reflects badly on her.The conversation was as blunt as this;
Her: “That was well timed wasn’t it. Where are you going?”
hyphen said:
The people above and around her will be judging her for this. Losing so many staff reflects badly on her.
yes and not the OPs problem. His kindness, waiting 72 hours is pointless really it added on days. A good manager would be on it, a bad one, well we are all used to them.Just keep on doing your job, she will probably expect you do take the pee and down tools until your leaving date. The fact your continuing on as if nothing has occurred will probably make her more angry and frustrated.
Plus don't expect a leaving do or ticker tape those days are long over ever pre Covid. I've seen people with 30+ years service on their final day not even get a goodbye from the management. Although I'm sure the large redundancy package they got more than made up for it.
Plus don't expect a leaving do or ticker tape those days are long over ever pre Covid. I've seen people with 30+ years service on their final day not even get a goodbye from the management. Although I'm sure the large redundancy package they got more than made up for it.
Well done on the new role, as far as what to do, keep your head down, do your best.
Also try as hard as it might be to have a bit of empathy, said manager is probably dealing with a lot at the moment, covid plus loss of three staff. It is not unreadable to ask to work your notice (and be paid) if they are short staffed.
Sounds like your moving onto to bigger and better - well done, the manager isn't and your departure has made thier role harder.
Finally be mindful of this kind of behaviour 'So had the great pleasure of dumping a binliner of unused clothing in her office after that email laugh"
Also try as hard as it might be to have a bit of empathy, said manager is probably dealing with a lot at the moment, covid plus loss of three staff. It is not unreadable to ask to work your notice (and be paid) if they are short staffed.
Sounds like your moving onto to bigger and better - well done, the manager isn't and your departure has made thier role harder.
Finally be mindful of this kind of behaviour 'So had the great pleasure of dumping a binliner of unused clothing in her office after that email laugh"
The Spruce Goose said:
hyphen said:
The people above and around her will be judging her for this. Losing so many staff reflects badly on her.
yes and not the OPs problem. His kindness, waiting 72 hours is pointless really it added on days. A good manager would be on it, a bad one, well we are all used to them.
It's business - If they company had treated you better you may not have expored other opportunities.
As said, keep your head down and do what you need to. If necessary speak with HR about the leave you want to take in your notice, or whether they will pay it out. If your manager wants to be al huffy about it, her problem.
As said, keep your head down and do what you need to. If necessary speak with HR about the leave you want to take in your notice, or whether they will pay it out. If your manager wants to be al huffy about it, her problem.
I had a similar incident with a former manager, a couple of people had handed their notice in within the same month.
I used to start early, so the office was always quiet - I noticed my manager trundled in early so I thought it would be the perfect time... He saw me coming from the other side of the office with my envelope in hand and straight away he stood up and said "No, I'm not accepting it" and walked off... I just kinda stood around his desk area, waiting for him to return, kind of in shock.
He didn't come back for awhile, I went back to my desk area and sat with my co-workers, one of whom happened to witness what happened from a distance, then everybody knew. Later in the day my team had a meeting with said manager and before it could start he asked me to accompany him to a meeting room where he immediately started to say "Why're you doing this to me?" repeatedly. It was a surreal experience and very awkward. He calmed down after a while and offered to match my new salary and let me choose my own work etc (very flattering but still not for me).
To make matters worse, I had a 3 month notice period. As we were approaching the Christmas period, I was hoping he'd let me leave early so that we could have a clean break on New Years Day, but no. He refused any annual leave, making me take it as payment, refused to let me leave early and was just a general dick for the remainder of my time there (ended up being 2 months, not 3 but still...)
So, my advice is to just keep your head down, read PistonHeads and go for long toilet breaks, lunches and generally just relax. So long as you handover your job to your counterpart/replacement then you've done more than enough IMO. Give it a week or so and I'm sure she will calm down, my manager did anyway... They won't be as nice as before, but they'll get used to the fact you're leaving and become more placid about it and may even let you use your leave etc.
I used to start early, so the office was always quiet - I noticed my manager trundled in early so I thought it would be the perfect time... He saw me coming from the other side of the office with my envelope in hand and straight away he stood up and said "No, I'm not accepting it" and walked off... I just kinda stood around his desk area, waiting for him to return, kind of in shock.
He didn't come back for awhile, I went back to my desk area and sat with my co-workers, one of whom happened to witness what happened from a distance, then everybody knew. Later in the day my team had a meeting with said manager and before it could start he asked me to accompany him to a meeting room where he immediately started to say "Why're you doing this to me?" repeatedly. It was a surreal experience and very awkward. He calmed down after a while and offered to match my new salary and let me choose my own work etc (very flattering but still not for me).
To make matters worse, I had a 3 month notice period. As we were approaching the Christmas period, I was hoping he'd let me leave early so that we could have a clean break on New Years Day, but no. He refused any annual leave, making me take it as payment, refused to let me leave early and was just a general dick for the remainder of my time there (ended up being 2 months, not 3 but still...)
So, my advice is to just keep your head down, read PistonHeads and go for long toilet breaks, lunches and generally just relax. So long as you handover your job to your counterpart/replacement then you've done more than enough IMO. Give it a week or so and I'm sure she will calm down, my manager did anyway... They won't be as nice as before, but they'll get used to the fact you're leaving and become more placid about it and may even let you use your leave etc.
Looking objectively at what has happened:
You resigned
Your manager got (unreasonably) shirty. She's hacked off - she has to find someone else and has just had two others resign.
They requested your uniform back, which you don't wear anyway.
I'm not sure what there is to be worried about?
You only have 3 weeks left, not 3 months. Do your job, smile in the face of anyone being a knob and think about your new, better job.
3 weeks will go in a flash.
You resigned
Your manager got (unreasonably) shirty. She's hacked off - she has to find someone else and has just had two others resign.
They requested your uniform back, which you don't wear anyway.
I'm not sure what there is to be worried about?
You only have 3 weeks left, not 3 months. Do your job, smile in the face of anyone being a knob and think about your new, better job.
3 weeks will go in a flash.
hyphen said:
NelsonM3 said:
Long story short I got the job and after holding back 72 hours I handed my resignation to my Manager; the reason I delayed is because said Manager lost two members of staff that week ...
The conversation was as blunt as this;
Her: “That was well timed wasn’t it. Where are you going?”
The people above and around her will be judging her for this. Losing so many staff reflects badly on her.The conversation was as blunt as this;
Her: “That was well timed wasn’t it. Where are you going?”
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