Hidden Pregnancy
Author
Discussion

LaurasOtherHalf

Original Poster:

21,429 posts

218 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
A new one on me (although I stress this is not an employee of mine)!

A manager (not business owner, it's a large company) has had one of their employees have a "miracle" baby over xmas. This despite the fact she was blatantly pregnant at work and hiding the fact, wearing large coats etc to try and disguise the bump in an office environment.

In the dept, it was a sort of unsaid secret-everyone knew, however the mother in question was erratic, poor performing etc. She is married and has one previous child. Excuses were IBS or gluten intolerance. The main question was whether she'd claim she didn't know or announce it last minute. Everyone assumed she knew.

Although no one is sure how deep the lies go, the story is she had the child at home in distress and had no hospital interventions or doctors appointments in the lead up to the birth.

HR in the workplace are notoriously weak, mainly stating that as she has had her two weeks off she is free to come back to work as she wishes. In the lead up to the birth, HR refused to question the mother if she was pregnant despite it being an obvious risk in that particular workplace with hazardous materials as well as the usual concerns.

The manager however has more concerns re her mental health, ability to perform and the issue of working from home.

They've asked me for advice but as it's something I've never come across before I said I'd put it to PH, someone's bound to have had it! As the virgin mary in question is a trainee, they are not under the person I know's direct care but as a part of the dept. she will come under their responsibility.


devnull

3,847 posts

179 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
What would be the reasons for the employee trying to hide their pregnancy?

In any respect, as a new mother it would be impossible for them to work from home and look after the child in an effective capacity.

Bluesgirl

793 posts

113 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
devnull said:
In any respect, as a new mother it would be impossible for them to work from home and look after the child in an effective capacity.
Why?

devnull

3,847 posts

179 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
Bluesgirl said:
devnull said:
In any respect, as a new mother it would be impossible for them to work from home and look after the child in an effective capacity.
Why?
Have a think.

Back to the thread at hand.

LaurasOtherHalf

Original Poster:

21,429 posts

218 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
devnull said:
What would be the reasons for the employee trying to hide their pregnancy?

In any respect, as a new mother it would be impossible for them to work from home and look after the child in an effective capacity.
No one knows, the suggestion would be that she’s bat st crazy.

She has claimed she has effective childcare at home between her parents and spouse to be able to continue her training while WFH (as most else are).

Bluesgirl

793 posts

113 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
devnull said:
Have a think.

Back to the thread at hand.
Of course, my bad. She needs to lock herself away in confinement for the first 4 years of the child's life.

If she thinks she can do the job, she certainly won't be the first woman to manage a newborn, an older child and WFH.

Driver101

14,451 posts

143 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
Strange one.

Have they thought their job was potentially at risk and thought pregnancy would put their name at top of redundancies?

LaurasOtherHalf

Original Poster:

21,429 posts

218 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
Driver101 said:
Strange one.

Have they thought their job was potentially at risk and thought pregnancy would put their name at top of redundancies?
My first thought and that may be the point, they aren't apparently employed by the firm they are studying at, think of it as more of a years secondment as part of a degree.

So my thought might have been they were hiding things so as not to fail their qualification/degree (I'm being a bit vague as I don't know the full set up of their employment position). The worry for my friend the manager is what type of person does that in the middle of a pandemic? There are concerns for her mental condition.

As far as I'm aware, they attended zero pre-natal appointments/scans etc

ReverendCounter

6,087 posts

198 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
devnull said:
What would be the reasons for the employee trying to hide their pregnancy?
Rape? Abuse?

LaurasOtherHalf

Original Poster:

21,429 posts

218 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
ReverendCounter said:
devnull said:
What would be the reasons for the employee trying to hide their pregnancy?
Rape? Abuse?
Not in this case, as in the OP the mother is in a stable relationship (married hetro) with one other child. From what I’m told, average size so not like a 7lb pregnancy can go unnoticed.

BoRED S2upid

20,956 posts

262 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
LaurasOtherHalf said:
No one knows, the suggestion would be that she’s bat st crazy.

She has claimed she has effective childcare at home between her parents and spouse to be able to continue her training while WFH (as most else are).
Why could this not be the case? Perhaps she was hiding it for fear of losing her job.

LaurasOtherHalf

Original Poster:

21,429 posts

218 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
BoRED S2upid said:
LaurasOtherHalf said:
No one knows, the suggestion would be that she’s bat st crazy.

She has claimed she has effective childcare at home between her parents and spouse to be able to continue her training while WFH (as most else are).
Why could this not be the case? Perhaps she was hiding it for fear of losing her job.
As above, she doesn’t have job, she’s on placemat as part of her course.

This doesn’t change her protected status via maternity status though.

It also doesn’t change the fact a women who has gone trough pregnancy before, claims to have not known she was pregnant even if the entire office who worked with her knew.

I suppose it might just have to be chalked down to people do strange things.

BoRED S2upid

20,956 posts

262 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
LaurasOtherHalf said:
BoRED S2upid said:
LaurasOtherHalf said:
No one knows, the suggestion would be that she’s bat st crazy.

She has claimed she has effective childcare at home between her parents and spouse to be able to continue her training while WFH (as most else are).
Why could this not be the case? Perhaps she was hiding it for fear of losing her job.
As above, she doesn’t have job, she’s on placemat as part of her course.

This doesn’t change her protected status via maternity status though.

It also doesn’t change the fact a women who has gone trough pregnancy before, claims to have not known she was pregnant even if the entire office who worked with her knew.

I suppose it might just have to be chalked down to people do strange things.
Probably didn’t want the office gossiping about her or posting about her on the internet. Can’t blame her can you.

Countdown

47,087 posts

218 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
LaurasOtherHalf said:
A new one on me (although I stress this is not an employee of mine)!

A manager (not business owner, it's a large company) has had one of their employees have a "miracle" baby over xmas. This despite the fact she was blatantly pregnant at work and hiding the fact, wearing large coats etc to try and disguise the bump in an office environment.

In the dept, it was a sort of unsaid secret-everyone knew, however the mother in question was erratic, poor performing etc. She is married and has one previous child. Excuses were IBS or gluten intolerance. The main question was whether she'd claim she didn't know or announce it last minute. Everyone assumed she knew.

Although no one is sure how deep the lies go, the story is she had the child at home in distress and had no hospital interventions or doctors appointments in the lead up to the birth.

HR in the workplace are notoriously weak, mainly stating that as she has had her two weeks off she is free to come back to work as she wishes. In the lead up to the birth, HR refused to question the mother if she was pregnant despite it being an obvious risk in that particular workplace with hazardous materials as well as the usual concerns.

The manager however has more concerns re her mental health, ability to perform and the issue of working from home.

They've asked me for advice but as it's something I've never come across before I said I'd put it to PH, someone's bound to have had it! As the virgin mary in question is a trainee, they are not under the person I know's direct care but as a part of the dept. she will come under their responsibility.
From a "Cover your ass" point of view the Manager needs to have a discussion with HR about his concerns re: her mental health. They should be able to advise on the correct response.

In terms of poor performance and WFH these are normal management issues. He needs to have a discussion with her, point out where she's not performing and agree an action plan.

paulmakin

727 posts

163 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
Perinatal mental health is a minefield of potential risk, safeguarding, serious incident reiews etc. Concealed pregnancies can be a function of mums' failing mental health so HR for sure.

If in doubt as to how to proceed, they need to consult with local children's services. The welfare of the child overrides the mother's right to expect confidentiality.

A concealed pregnancy is not a cryptic preganancy(ie, where a mother is unaware of her pregnancy as opposed to concealing or denying it) - given that the concealment has allegedly led to no involvement of the usual care agencies pre-natal, the neonate's health and care needs being addressed post partum must be a significant concern until proven otherwise.

Edited by paulmakin on Wednesday 6th January 21:28

bennno

14,859 posts

291 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
Bluesgirl said:
Of course, my bad. She needs to lock herself away in confinement for the first 4 years of the child's life.

If she thinks she can do the job, she certainly won't be the first woman to manage a newborn, an older child and WFH.
Think you are trolling. Its highly unusual for a staff member to disguise a pregnancy and then want to return to work within a week of having a baby.

Company has a duty of care to staff member, first port of call would be maternity policy.

NDA

24,596 posts

247 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
Maternity Leave is compulsory for two weeks and it is illegal for an employer to allow a woman to work during this leave. Double check this (of course) but that was certainly the case previously.

As far as I am aware, it is not a legal requirement to announce a pregnancy, it is, up until the birth, a personal matter.

Tricky situation.

Chozza

808 posts

174 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
But after birth .. then to claim maternity pay then she'd need to fill in a MAT B1 ?

Of course .. she may well have already done this .. sent it to HR or her "employer" as that might be different in the case of some placements


lyonspride

2,978 posts

177 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all

Sounds like the place has a bit of a crazy rumour mill going on ("story"), she was probably terrified of people finding out she was pregnant......

craigjm

20,414 posts

222 months

Wednesday 6th January 2021
quotequote all
NDA said:
Maternity Leave is compulsory for two weeks and it is illegal for an employer to allow a woman to work during this leave. Double check this (of course) but that was certainly the case previously.

As far as I am aware, it is not a legal requirement to announce a pregnancy, it is, up until the birth, a personal matter.

Tricky situation.
This is correct.

The manager should inform HR of their suspicions and note that it was reported and when