Strategy out of my predicament? Work behavioural issues
Discussion
I am looking for some advice or thoughts on how best to deal with the work related problems I'm having. Any advice on either in terms of strategy or just anyone who has been in a similar place, I would be grateful to hear.
I am a near 30 year old male working a property related consultancy job. I spent 5 years at my first place before moving to my current firm 15 months ago, similar type of role but now a slightly larger (15 ppl) firm. Now, when I first started 'working' I was so drowned by anxiety on a daily basis that I couldn't really function until a few months in, I was overwhelmed by simple tasks, couldn't focus, couldn't plan my time, it was a balancing act between producing good enough work when it was critical to do so and avoiding anxiety the rest of the time. These issues were of course pre-existing, I attended but did not engage in education for most of my teenage life, missed most exams, scraped 5 gcses, scraped A-levels, got through two degrees by starting assignments 12h before they were due, similar with exams only starting reading 12h prior. Have never been able to get motivated to do work unless I have adrenaline and pressure, and even then it's a dice roll on whether I do the work or just withdraw from it. All of these problems are now work specific, I have excellent motivation and discipline in fitness and team sport, I can learn and practice hobbies anxiety free, friendships and relationships all okay. I have had no career progression because of this, whilst all my peers from my MSc are all well qualified above me and earning double/triple, I am now earning less than I did when I started as a grad with 0 experience.
Until recently, these issues had just been treated from the general depression/anxiety angle (abusive upbringing, parent with addiction etc) but the other day my GP referred me for an adult ADHD test, which gives some hope of progress. I for sure do not express the hyperactive element which is maybe why this direction hasn't been mentioned before, but my brother (he suffers similar but worse problems and is chronic unemployed) was diagnosed age 11 with it and my father is textbook adhd. I cannot focus, I feel overwhelmed easily, I forget what I'm doing, I dart between unfinished tasks, I get angry or anxious easily, all while looking relatively composed and normal to everyone else in the office.
The referral is timely as I am unable to perform at my current job and was just about put my savings into consulting a career psychoanalyst to try to work out what type of job I could do given my limitations. So whatever the outcome of the adhd assessment, it can inform that.
My current boss is generally aware that I have MH problems and has been supportive but he is only aware of it as an episodic thing, not the extent it's affecting me every day and how far behind that's leaving me on all my work. I am currently only able to produce about 12-14 hours' work a week out of the 40 and I have only generated £18k of fees in the last 12 months whilst costing them about £40k in salary+NI.
I have my annual review in two days and I am trying to work out how best to go forward given:
1. If I leave my job (which I cant perform) of my own accord, I will be ineligible for benefits and my savings are all going toward the adhd assessment (£1200 or 2 year wait) and specialist career advisor.
2. If I am dismissed for my performance, I still won't be eligible for benefits and I won't be able to get a positive reference
3. I do not think I can mentally survive in the job for much longer, even if I did somehow manage to avoid 1 or 2. My notice period is 3 months for either side, but i dont know if I could get the benefit of being paid for those months if I'm not performing/dismissed with immediate effect (which I presume they can if it's a dismissal, the role I do is crucial so it wont ever be a redundancy)
I spent most of my savings on therapy during my first job, so I don't have much of a buffer and cannot count on quickly and magically getting a new job perfectly suited to me in the next few months given the current climate. So I'd be very thankful for any pointers on how to handle this, primarily to preserve income but also anything that might be helpful from those who have been through similar
I am a near 30 year old male working a property related consultancy job. I spent 5 years at my first place before moving to my current firm 15 months ago, similar type of role but now a slightly larger (15 ppl) firm. Now, when I first started 'working' I was so drowned by anxiety on a daily basis that I couldn't really function until a few months in, I was overwhelmed by simple tasks, couldn't focus, couldn't plan my time, it was a balancing act between producing good enough work when it was critical to do so and avoiding anxiety the rest of the time. These issues were of course pre-existing, I attended but did not engage in education for most of my teenage life, missed most exams, scraped 5 gcses, scraped A-levels, got through two degrees by starting assignments 12h before they were due, similar with exams only starting reading 12h prior. Have never been able to get motivated to do work unless I have adrenaline and pressure, and even then it's a dice roll on whether I do the work or just withdraw from it. All of these problems are now work specific, I have excellent motivation and discipline in fitness and team sport, I can learn and practice hobbies anxiety free, friendships and relationships all okay. I have had no career progression because of this, whilst all my peers from my MSc are all well qualified above me and earning double/triple, I am now earning less than I did when I started as a grad with 0 experience.
Until recently, these issues had just been treated from the general depression/anxiety angle (abusive upbringing, parent with addiction etc) but the other day my GP referred me for an adult ADHD test, which gives some hope of progress. I for sure do not express the hyperactive element which is maybe why this direction hasn't been mentioned before, but my brother (he suffers similar but worse problems and is chronic unemployed) was diagnosed age 11 with it and my father is textbook adhd. I cannot focus, I feel overwhelmed easily, I forget what I'm doing, I dart between unfinished tasks, I get angry or anxious easily, all while looking relatively composed and normal to everyone else in the office.
The referral is timely as I am unable to perform at my current job and was just about put my savings into consulting a career psychoanalyst to try to work out what type of job I could do given my limitations. So whatever the outcome of the adhd assessment, it can inform that.
My current boss is generally aware that I have MH problems and has been supportive but he is only aware of it as an episodic thing, not the extent it's affecting me every day and how far behind that's leaving me on all my work. I am currently only able to produce about 12-14 hours' work a week out of the 40 and I have only generated £18k of fees in the last 12 months whilst costing them about £40k in salary+NI.
I have my annual review in two days and I am trying to work out how best to go forward given:
1. If I leave my job (which I cant perform) of my own accord, I will be ineligible for benefits and my savings are all going toward the adhd assessment (£1200 or 2 year wait) and specialist career advisor.
2. If I am dismissed for my performance, I still won't be eligible for benefits and I won't be able to get a positive reference
3. I do not think I can mentally survive in the job for much longer, even if I did somehow manage to avoid 1 or 2. My notice period is 3 months for either side, but i dont know if I could get the benefit of being paid for those months if I'm not performing/dismissed with immediate effect (which I presume they can if it's a dismissal, the role I do is crucial so it wont ever be a redundancy)
I spent most of my savings on therapy during my first job, so I don't have much of a buffer and cannot count on quickly and magically getting a new job perfectly suited to me in the next few months given the current climate. So I'd be very thankful for any pointers on how to handle this, primarily to preserve income but also anything that might be helpful from those who have been through similar
That’s a lot going on; so I hope your appointment throws up some solutions.
Re work; if it’s making you worse, then one assumes a clinician would advise you to quit. Problem is, will quitting put you in to an even worse state of mind?
Your comment about the economy may not be wholly correct. There are lots of jobs available, just not necessarily what might be your first choice, at the salary you want or in the location most convenient.
I’d certainly be thinking about what work you could cope with and build upon that over time.
Hope that little helps.
Good luck!
Re work; if it’s making you worse, then one assumes a clinician would advise you to quit. Problem is, will quitting put you in to an even worse state of mind?
Your comment about the economy may not be wholly correct. There are lots of jobs available, just not necessarily what might be your first choice, at the salary you want or in the location most convenient.
I’d certainly be thinking about what work you could cope with and build upon that over time.
Hope that little helps.
Good luck!
Thanks it’s been a while since I looked into the jobs market so it’s encouraging to hear there are things out there. I am not exactly tied to location but am London/south east centric anyway. Would of course make big sacrifices in location or salary if it was something I could do without the issues I mentioned
If you find your work brings out anxiety and a feeling of overwhelmed, it may be worth breaking down the core tasks you do in your job and scoring them for how comfortable you feel doing them under pressure. There are bound to be certain things, perhaps reports that you are quite happy to produce and crack on with then there will be other tasks which give you anxiety.
Then with the tasks you are less comfortable with is there additional training you can get (or support from colleagues) or can you allow yourself extra time to complete them until you get faster. It may help to tick off a couple of the quick bread and butter tasks first then you always feel you have produced something of value in the first few hours which can boost self esteem (there's another school of thought that says you should do your biggest most challenging task first thing vs later in the day but it doesn't work for me)
Then with the tasks you are less comfortable with is there additional training you can get (or support from colleagues) or can you allow yourself extra time to complete them until you get faster. It may help to tick off a couple of the quick bread and butter tasks first then you always feel you have produced something of value in the first few hours which can boost self esteem (there's another school of thought that says you should do your biggest most challenging task first thing vs later in the day but it doesn't work for me)
Edited by Kiwi79 on Thursday 18th March 17:06
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