CV proof read please??

[CyprusCraig]

To whom it may concern,

My name is Craig Foster, I have just finished my Divemaster internship (currently awaiting confirmation from PADI, Call Turtle Bay Dive Centre in North Cyprus for confirmation on [phone number] (Gwyn Robinson, Instructor). I have over 100 logged dives, assisted with Over 20 open water courses, several Rescue courses and I am an experienced dive leader. I have my Deep Dive and PPB specialties (currently been processed). conducted 14 DSD courses and over 50 hours experience of filling cylinders.

Other notes: I have full offshore survival training, Basic First aid training and a Full HSE offshore medical. I own all my own equipment.

I am 18 years old, single and a fun person to be around, very chatty, sociable and hard working. I am a peoples person, especially good with kids, lots of patience and can make people feel at ease and I feel I would be a valuable member to any dive team.

Kindly consider me for this position you have available,

Kind regards

Craig Foster

Any other questions please contact me on:

Email.
Phone

Edited by CyprusCraig on Wednesday 4th November 23:41

[Soovy]

Amended. Lose the b0llocks about being fun loving, makes you sounds like a pet dog.


Hope this helps. Good luck.

CyprusCraig's new application letter said:

Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing to submit my Curriculum Vitae for your consideration for the position of [insert].

I have recently completed my "Divemaster" internship (for which I am currently awaiting confirmation from PADI).

I have over 100 logged dives, have assisted with in excess of twenty open water courses, and I have completed several Rescue courses. I am an experienced dive leader. My "Deep Dive" and "PPB" specialties are currently been processed. I have also conducted fourteen "DSD" courses and have over fifty hours' experience of filling cylinders.

I have full offshore survival training, basic First Aid training and a full HSE offshore medical. I own all my own equipment.

I am currently 18 years old with no dependents, and am looking for a position like this because [insert].

I would be most grateful if you would consdider my application for the position referenced above. Should you require any further information, or references then please do not hesitate to contact me.

Yours faithfully

Craig Foster

Edited by Soovy on Tuesday 3rd November 17:12

[CyprusCraig]

thank you Appreciate your help.

So its best to leave out the pet dog stuff? If so i will be, my only reasons for putting it in was because the position i am applying for needs to be fun and good social skills and alot of it is working with children? Or should i just leave it out??

[Soovy]

CyprusCraig said:

thank you Appreciate your help.

So its best to leave out the pet dog stuff? If so i will be, my only reasons for putting it in was because the position i am applying for needs to be fun and good social skills and alot of it is working with children? Or should i just leave it out??

Not my industry, but that rubbish adds nothing and would put you in my bin.

Your application is based on your experience and qualifications. If they liek those, they'll ask you in to see if you are the right "fit". If you have a CRB check etc put that in also.

Sorry if I appear blunt.

[CyprusCraig]

thank you really do appreciate the help, i would rather someone be honest and blunt rather than feed me bullst that wont help me get a job.

So thanks again!

[sday12]

It's a covering letter, you will need a cv as well attached.

[RedRose123]

It's a covering letter rather then a CV. I like it all, even the pet dog stuff.

[SunnyD]

OK I'm going to look at it purely from an editorial POV....but I would say that it's too detail oriented - that's what your CV is for, the covering letter is supposed to sell yourself in a less technical way, as a supplement to your CV. If it's a leadership position, don't just say you're a good leader, explain WHY you're a good leader, what life experience do you have to make you that way? And personally I can't stand the expression "people person" - what does that mean!? Anyway, here are my grammatical edits:

CyprusCraig said:

To whom it may concern,

My name is Craig Foster, I have just finished my Divemaster internship (currently awaiting confirmation from PADI, call Turtle Bay Dive Centre in North Cyprus for confirmation on 00000[Gwyn Robinson, Instructor]). I have more than 100 logged dives, assisted with more than 20 open water courses, several rescue courses and I am an experienced dive leader. I have my Deep Dive and PPB specialties (currently being processed). conducted 14 DSD courses and more than 50 hours experience of filling cylinders.

Other notes: I have full offshore survival training, Basic First Aid training and a Full HSE offshore medical. I own all my own equipment.

I am 18 years old, single and a fun person to be around, very chatty, sociable and hard working. I am a people person, especially good with kids, lots of patience and can make people feel at ease and I feel I would be a valuable member to any dive team.

Kindly consider me for theposition you have available.

Kind regards

Craig Foster

Any other questions please contact me on:

Email.
Phone

Edited by SunnyD on Wednesday 4th November 10:42

Edited by SunnyD on Thursday 5th November 09:36

[CyprusCraig]

I have had a mix of both the re done letter and i appreciate the help.

One last thing would you mind editing your posts to take the phone number out please?

thanks again